On page 13 at the beginning of the Anonymous & the Church of Scientology section.

"Three years earlier, a couple of friends and I hit upon a great idea for a troll. "

- This should be more inclusive of everyone.  "couple of friends and I", there were more people than that in the channel. During that few hours it was between 5 and 8 people to start.



Also on page 13:

"A woman who had left the Church of Scientology movement had leaked a video clip in which Tom Cruise, the group's preeminent celebrity spokesman, gives one of the most bizarre and rambling addresses one could imagine."

From what I know it was a woman, but there is also a man who claims it was him, and neither seem to be able to prove it.  I would re-write that as:  Someone who had left...



On page 14:

"a couple of fellow Anons and I  started a YouTube account called “Church0fScientology,”"

- The channel at that point was randomly between 8 and 16 people.  So it wasnt just 3 of us, and people will be angry if we paint it that way.



On page 15:

"My initial solution was to set things up so that, upon logging on, a user would be directed to enter one of more than 30 channels named after major cities, with the user choosing the one that most closely matched his location."

- This should read "Our initial solution", again I have to stress that this was a group effort and at that point it was around 8 people who came up with that idea.



Also on page 15:

"My initial solution was to set things up so that, upon logging on, a user would be directed to enter one of more than 30 channels named after major cities, with the user choosing the one that most closely matched his location."

- We didnt interfere with their ability to moderate themselves.  They picked their own channel moderators.  What we did was watch each channel and figure out who showed leadership qualities and bring them into our own private channel so we could work on bigger projects with most cities being involved (simply because we had someone with good leadership qualities in that city working with us in private.)




On page 18:

Well, I actually dont like half the page.  I am very against naming names or saying outright that I was a witness to someone breaking the law "here is the law and here is the persons handle."  That is not who I am.

This section:


A better example of this dynamic, though, was a private Skype group in which several people, including Topiary and myself, used the online video/calling service to discuss Anonymous business. It was here that, the morning after Barr had first gotten our attention, Topiary told me that some “shit was about to hit the fan,” and that I should be prepared to deal with the press when it did. 

“What's going to happen this time?” I asked.

“They're going to hit HBGary.”

“They,” in this case, meant two Anons who were particularly proficient hackers and thus already well-respected within AnonOps: Kayla and Sabu. Topiary brought me into another channel where they and a few others were planning to infiltrate HBGary's assets in an effort to acquire e-mails, documents, and whatever else we'd need to determine what was going on – and to strike back accordingly.



^ that section above needs to be re-written, here is an example of a re-write:

A better example of this dynamic, though, was a private Skype group in which several people, including some Anonymous hackers and myself, used the online video/calling service to discuss ongoing Anonymous operations. It was here that, the morning after Barr had first gotten our attention, I was told that some “shit was about to hit the fan,” and that I should be prepared to deal with the press when it did. 

“What's going to happen this time?” I asked.

“They're going to hit HBGary.”

“They,” in this case, meant some Anons who were particularly proficient hackers and thus already well-respected within AnonOps, that group later came to be known as LulzSec. I was brought into another channel where they and a few others were planning to infiltrate HBGary's assets in an effort to acquire e-mails, documents, and whatever else we'd need to determine what was going on – and to strike back accordingly.



Also on page 18:

"When Nokia security chief Jaakonaho thought he was resetting the password for HBGary's server at the behest of his old friend Hoglund on SuperBowl Sunday, he was actually doing so for Kayla, who was thus able to gain entry to the server."

-  The name kayla should be replaced by Anonymous.



On page 19:

"A new channel, “OpHBGary”, was created on the AnonOps server for the purpose of discussing our next move"

-  "our next move"  should probably read more like "Anonymous's next move"



Also on page 19:

"Among those who took part in the conversation was Heyguise, a rather comedic southerner; evilworks, one of a dozen or so people who helped to administrate server channels; and Sabu, whose name would eventually become especially well-known to reporters and law enforcement officials alike."

-  I see the need for another sentance here, but I am not happy with this one.  Why do we need to call Heyguise a southerner?  That might be the only edit to it, but it still feels funny.




On Page 27:

"They never actually caught me, per se; instead I was turned in by a neighbor after he got himself arrested while in possession of several kilos of coke and thus had plenty of reason to cooperate."

-  As I stated before, not only in my last round of edits, but also on the phone.  This CAN NOT appear in anything, even this proposal.

-  Here is my note from the last round of edits:  This cannot be said, it is under seal and is not actually something we can print without me getting a lot of shit.  It should say: "They never actually caught me, per se; instead I was turned in by someone looking for an immunity deal after they were busted earlier."




On page 28:

"As I was in no particular hurry to repeat the experience or anything similar, I agreed to Scientology's proposal to have the judge issue a continuance,"

-  Another edit from my first round of edits that got overlooked here is my note from last time:  The DA actually offered this up in a discussion with my lawyer, so it should be more like:  "As I was in no particular hurry to repeat the experience or anything similar, I agreed to the DA's proposal to have the judge issue a CWOF (Continuance Without Finding),"



Also on page 28:

"and today I still manage to organize and attend several Scientology protests a month, as do countless others across the globe."

-  I go to about one protest against Scientology every 2 months.  So this needs to be re-worded somehow.




On page 32:

OpSony, here is my note from the last round of edits, its still not addressed:  OpSony - The opening is wrong.  The attack on Sony was not about Geohot.  Anonymous didnt start attacking until Sony filed with Youtube to get the IP addresses of every single person who watched a Geohot video.  And Sony asked Geohot's webhost for the IP of everyone who had ever viewed his website.  That is what pissed everyone off, not them going after Geohot.



On page 35:

Sabu - "The most active hacker" should read "One of the most active hackers", there are others that are just as active as him.



On page 36:

Owen - Doesnt read right to me.  I would put it more like this:

A server admin for the AnonOps IRC network, and one of the 40 U.S. citizens who were raided by the FBI in late January.  Although Owen tends not to participate in the operations themselves, his ability to moderate operations channels at will continually put him at the center of drama and, more frequently, farce.



On page 37:

Ryan Cleary - "helped run the AnonOps server"  should read "helped run the AnonOps IRC network".  The network is made up of many servers.  "overseeing of an IRC channel"  should read "overseeing of an IRC network".