Your edits need to be in parallel to mine, essentially, since Barrett has to figure out how to integrate and WHAT to integrate (he may not take all my edits, e.g.)—

 

So don’t wait for me, or for Barrett to revise; instead, refer to mine in particular for oppy’s to provide slightly more PERSONAL detail and / or to fill out the scene as you see it.  In chapter one, some snippet of your domestic life, your girlfriend’s daughter, how you pay the bills (or don’t).  In chapter two:  the guy at Tilt who approaches you and takes a cut—what was  his first name?  The buddy who was your “second” in that operation—what was HIS first name, and why did you trust him, or like him?  The occasional add’l detail about your mother, or some ritual you may have had between you and your sister, some responsibility you had in tending to her—this stuff is SO thinly sketched that a few add’l details will add a lot of depth.  This is minor shit, maybe, but it adds important texture.

 

I’m frankly not concerned at this stage about the Anonymous stuff—what I want is to give this story, and you, something closer to three dimensions.

 

Barrett, how does this sound to you?

 

From: Gregg Housh [mailto:greggatghc@gmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, March 07, 2012 10:27 AM
To: Barrett Brown
Cc: Daniel Conaway
Subject: Re: FW: Anon, chapter 2