Re: FW: Notes on Ch. 2/TOC

On Mon, Feb 27, 2012 at 9:30 AM, Daniel Conaway <dconaway@writershouse.com> wrote:

GUYS

PLEASE SEE MY TESTY NOTE TO THE AMAZONIANS I DO NOT WANT YOU WORRYING ABOUT KATIES / JULIAS NOTES, MICRO OR MACRO, AT THIS STAGE. THEIR POINTS MAY WELL BE VALID, BUT THIS ISNT THE TIME FOR THEM, AS I EXPLAIN AT LENGTH BELOW.

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS STAY FOCUSSED ON FINISHING THIS MOTHERFUCKER!

AND WHILE IVE SAID NO CONFERENCE CALLS WITH AMAZON, ID LIKE THE THREE OF US TO GET ON THE PHONE TOGETHER LATER TODAY (5:00, PERHAPS?) TO REVIEW EXACTLY WHERE THINGS STAND. 5:00 WORK FOR YOU?

-D

From: Daniel Conaway
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2012 10:27 AM
To: 'Salisbury, Katie'; Cheiffetz, Julia
Cc: Hoffmann, Carly; Stephen Barr
Subject: RE: Notes on Ch. 2/TOC
Importance: High

Hey, guys

Thanks for this; I know you want only the best for this book, same as me. Butfor the recordgiving notes a month (more?) after receiving a single chapter, a chapter that we admitted at the time was rough, but which youd requested, with urgency, only to go silent; and then extrapolating out editorial design from that one rough chapter, especially when were on such an incredibly tight deadline? Thats counterproductive. Im not taking issue with the content, but the timing is abysmal: were one month away from delivering a full draft, and thatll be the point at which we (you) can turn, with specificity, to the editorial work that needs to be done. In the meantime, absent feedback from you, Ive been riding herd on Barrett and Gregg, on issues big and small, and theyre making great progress.

SOCIAL NETWORK was a terrific movie, but it was a movie, so lets acknowledge that a book doesnt cant survive on surfaces and facial gestures in the ways a movie canwhich isnt to say that lessons cant be drawn, and I urge you to do your very best to apply those lessons that make the most sense, but only in the context of the actual manuscript. Likewise, broad comments about avoiding passive or complex sentence structuregood advice generally, to be sureis, under these circumstances, entirely unhelpful until they can be applied concretely to the work. And youve done that here w/ this sample chapter, but its impractical to imagine that theyre going to pull up reigns and address this stuff, on a micro level, barely five weeks from the delivery date, and address these issues right now.

So, to be completely clear, Im going to advise Barrett and Gregg to set these comments and edits aside, and stay focused on the task at hand, which is delivering a complete draft by March 1 From their perspective theres no benefit, none, to a conference call that potentially undercuts their confidence any further.

In the meantime, I see two paths here. Either we let Barrett and Gregg push through their best possible draft and turn it in as soon as possible; or I can see whether theyd be prepared to feed you, in several-chapter blocks, the chapters once A) Gregg has completed his read-throughs, and B) Barrett has had time to incorporate and polish But this option would require that you agree, now, that this would be for the purposes of your getting a head-start on the line-work, and that this line work would be held, by you, until a full draft has been delivered.

Happy to discuss thisbut please, not by general email to Gregg and Barrett.

Best,

Dan

From: Salisbury, Katie [mailto:katiesal@amazon.com]
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2012 9:41 AM
To: Gregg Housh (greggatghc@gmail.com); barriticus@gmail.com
Cc: Daniel Conaway; Cheiffetz, Julia; Hoffmann, Carly
Subject: Notes on Ch. 2/TOC

Dear Gregg and Barrett,

Thank you for sending along these materialsChapter 2 provides us with insight into Greggs past and the context we were so desperately craving. The stories here, really only kernels of something bigger, are compelling. What we need now is to flesh these glimpses out and weave them into the rising action of the Anonymous movement (as told by Gregg). We don't want your entire life's history lumped into one big chapter. Think THE SOCIAL NETWORK; Aaron Sorkin took a court case and turned it into an engrossing human drama by cutting back and forth between the present and past events. Anonymouss escalating take-downs is the through-line of the book, with flashbacks to Greggs formative yearsthe arcade racket, dropping out of school, teaching himself to code. What, ultimately, is the narrative arc of the book? What does it culminate in? A few other general comments:

·         Attitude gets you nowhere and undercuts any points youre trying to make; it comes off as condescending

·         Ask yourself: Is this fact/story integral to the story Im telling? Why does the reader care?

·         What are the 3-4 most important Anonymous actions/take-downs? Please give us a short timeline of the events (for editorial use) so we can see how the movement has evolved.

·         Dont begin sentences with time signifiers, Meanwhile The next evening Now

·         Strive for clarity

·         Front-load sentences; dont complicate the writing with odd or passive sentence constructions

Lets find a time to speak and follow up on these notes. Are you all free later in the week?

Best,

Katie