Dear Gregg and Barrett,

Thank you for sending along these materials—Chapter 2 provides us with insight into Gregg’s past and the context we were so desperately craving.  The stories here, really only kernels of something bigger, are compelling. What we need now is to flesh these glimpses out and weave them into the rising action of the Anonymous movement (as told by Gregg). We don't want your entire life's history lumped into one big chapter. Think THE SOCIAL NETWORK; Aaron Sorkin took a court case and turned it into an engrossing human drama by cutting back and forth between the present and past events. Anonymous’s escalating take-downs is the through-line of the book, with flashbacks to Gregg’s “formative years”—the arcade racket, dropping out of school, teaching himself to code. What, ultimately, is the narrative arc of the book? What does it culminate in? A few other general comments:

·         Attitude gets you nowhere and undercuts any points you’re trying to make; it comes off as condescending

·         Ask yourself: Is this fact/story integral to the story I’m telling? Why does the reader care?

·         What are the 3-4 most important Anonymous actions/take-downs? Please give us a short timeline of the events (for editorial use) so we can see how the movement has evolved.

·         Don’t begin sentences with time signifiers, “Meanwhile” “The next evening” “Now…”

·         Strive for clarity

·         Front-load sentences; don’t complicate the writing with odd or passive sentence constructions

Let’s find a time to speak and follow up on these notes. Are you all free later in the week?

Best,

Katie