I'm looking for a bit of feedback. I've posted the prologue and first six chapters of the first draft a novel online. The title is provisional, that's one of the things I'm looking for feedback on. I don't like it, but I haven't managed to come up with anything I like better yet.
I'll be posting more of it every couple of days. The first draft is nearly complete, and I've got a pile of notes already for the second draft, but I think I'm missing something.
What I'm looking for isn't missing commas. It is the story, characters, and background itself. Does the story work, do the characters seem real, and is the background realistic?
If you could read it and comment, I'd really appreciate the help.