Subject: Chat with Caleb Pritchard
From: Caleb Pritchard <cpritchard2001@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

Caleb: Hey, Reddit.
Caleb: My girlfriend draws pictures of creepy mermaids.
Caleb: What do you think?
me: I think "upvote"
Caleb: "Healing Through Violent Sex"
Caleb: Headline on Andrew Sullivan's blog.
me: that reminds me
Caleb: Of this:
Caleb: "My First Gay Bar, Ctd"?
me: link plz
Caleb: http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2011/06/my-first-gay-bar-ctd.html
me: that Sullivan has a hell of a constituency
Caleb: It's better than your constituency.
me: Speaking of which, I'm reading this Hitler book I've had for years
me: one with him on the cover wearing a cape
Caleb: Who wrote it?
me: Fest
me: one sec
Caleb: Faggot.
me: yeah
me: sorry, wasn't Shirer
Caleb: Here it comes.
me: not a word so far about the homosexual perversion
me: or whatever
me: homosexual something
me: other than to note that soldiers tend to be homos
me: but yeah, I find that talk to be offensive
me: so I don't read Shirer
me: but what a gloopy wack-ass non-ideology he had
me: heroism
me: ircon
me: fire iron
me: iron fire
me: I no longer support Hitler
me: I'm going to join one of the other nationalist parties
me: because I am a barroom brawler
Caleb: I'm afraid I missed something here.
me: apparently there were a lot of barroom brawls in Germany in the '20s
Caleb: I believe they called them "putsches."
me: insomuch as that everyone except for one or two counts who were kind of embarrassed to be associated with them
me: is described as a beer-hall brawler
Caleb: So a fella named Fest wrote this particular book?
me: Joachim Fest
Caleb: And why haven't you read Shirer, faggot?
me: German journalist, born in early '20s
me: because I don't have a copy handy
me: and the ol' Borders book store closed down because no one reads
Caleb: Get a Kindle, bro.
me: k
me: I ain't no common barroom brawler, dawg
Caleb: You're a bierhaus putscher, fool.
Caleb: That's German.
Caleb: I took a semester of German in college.
Caleb: I should've gotten an 'F', but my teacher fucked up and gave me an 'A' instead.
Caleb: Beezy beezy boo.
me: she sounds like a common bierhaus brawler to me
Caleb: She was a Spaniard.
Caleb: Take what you will from that!
me: common wine-refinery squabbler
me: oh, wait
me: a Spaniard who taught German, eh?
me: I see
Caleb: Welcome to the Eurozone, bitch.
me: Also, to some extent I assumed Hitler's obsession with Jews was exaggerated
me: but wow
me: he just wouldn't shut up about them
Caleb: Denier.
Caleb: Of course, Fest himself was a jew.
me: nonetheless
me: the quotes and whatnot
Caleb: Fest himself was a jew.
me: himself, a jew was?
Caleb: No, I was lying.
Caleb: He was actually a catholic.
Caleb: But you believed it.
Caleb: You believed the Big Lie.
me: I'll tell you where the phrase "Big Lie" comes up most
me: conservative blogs
me: usually in reference to the expressing of some opinion
me: and without ever noting what the lie is
me: exactly
me: but also with all the quotes about it and whatnot
me: HA I'm lying
Caleb: I don't believe you.
Caleb: Headline on C4P:
Caleb: "Even the Daily Kos Pollster Concedes “There Could be an Immediate, Significant Improvement in [Palin's] Numbers” If She Announces She’s Running"
me: that's an unusual dynamic
me: she's something special
Caleb: Why are you still living in Dallas like a Dallas fag?
Caleb: I mean, don't get me wrong: It's nice to have someone in a position to have their thumb on the pulse of Jim Schutze and John Wiley Price.
me: I'm waiting for Schutze to die so I can take his job pointing out corruption to no effect
Caleb: I'd put money on the notion that the only people who read Schutze all live in Austin.
Caleb: Speaking of which
Caleb: I'm fairly certain I saw Hightower sitting at the bar at the Whip In yesterday.
Caleb: Cowboy hat and all.
me: He's a real Texan
Caleb: Diminutive fellow.
me: always pointin out those boondoggles
me: I need to see a Hightower column now
Caleb: http://www.austinchronicle.com/news/2011-04-15/the-hightower-report/
me: "Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and get your ticket to see "Rick the Wonder Worker!""
Caleb: yourwishismycommand!!!!!
me: PERRY IS PEDDLING TEXAS SNAKE OIL
me: fucking faggot
Caleb: He's no Kinky.
me: jesus
Caleb: _Yes?_
Caleb: (I'm playing like I'm Jesus and you're were calling me.)
Caleb: (This is one of my favorite jokes.)
me: HA HA HA
me: I don't even believe in Jesus
Caleb: John Qunicy Adams was a founding father.
me: you bustin my balls?
Caleb: Ah, I'm just bustin' ya balls, here!
Caleb: fughegetaboutaitallofit
me: aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
me: CALEB WAS SCREAMING AAAAHHHHHHHH IN THE BACKGROUND
me: I THINK HE'S CRAZY
me: "Come on, Obama, do it! Stand up, stand tall, stand firm! Yes, you can!"
Caleb: You ain't even know.
me: I'm reading populist literature
me: from the nation's #1 populist
me: "The really, really richie-rich, for example, are going to the dogs. Literally. "
Caleb: Tell me more.
me: http://www.terravivos.com/home.htm
Caleb: This looks complicated.
Caleb: John Cornyn's Twitter:
Caleb: "Honored to have dinner with Lt. Dan tonight"
Caleb: He means Gary Sinese.
me: On the Real Time with Bill Maher show on HBO, in November 2004, Sullivan claimed that the political activist and linguist Noam Chomsky supported the Soviet Union, stating that "No one supported the Soviet Union as long as Chomsky did." (Chomsky had been talking about US foreign policy by telephone earlier on the show.) Chomsky didn't get the opportunity to reply on the show, but asked on his website and by e-mail if Sullivan could find a single quote where Chomsky shows any support for the "brutal dictatorship" of the Soviet Union. Sullivan refused to answer. Chomsky pointed out that he was always opposed to the "miserable regime" of the Soviet Union and also mentioned the fact that his own political writings were actually prohibited in Soviet Russia. To this day Sullivan has refused to reply. [64]
Caleb: Not my _Andrew_ Sullivan?
me: afraid so
Caleb: Why haven't you ever read Shirer, faggot?
Caleb: You never answered my question?
me: I did
me: If I had a copy of Shirer I'd read it
me: but don't got no copy
me: don't got no ride
Caleb: Hey, your hax0r friends are good hax0rs, right?
me: they all be on the run
Caleb: Do small details such as e-mail addresses help their hax1ng skillz?
me: what with the international crime spree and now two confirmed arrests to peripheral figures plus one rumored raid of a crazy tranny witness who hates us all
Caleb: Because I'd be more than happy to give them the KDFW deets.
me: I don't got no contact with Lulzsec no mo
me: what do you have on KDFW?
Caleb: Nothing except they're a bunch of straight faggots.
Caleb: I'd have more if they would've hired me.
Caleb: But the head cunt in charge couldn't seem to wrap her cunt mind around the fact that I was happy to spend as little time in Tyler as possible.
Caleb: Also, they ran a personal hit-piece against you.
me: she didn't understand what?
me: how now?
me: wuzzit?
Caleb: Bitch kept axin' me, "You were only at your job in Tyler for _six months_? Why did you leave so early?"
me: gotcha
Caleb: "You were only at your job in Portland, Maine, making 13 bucks an hour on the overnight shift for six months? Why did you leave so early?
Caleb: A year in New York on minimum wage?
Caleb: I don't get it!!!
me: I'm not even going to TRY to pronounce that!
Caleb: And how dare you use the term "right-wing" to characterize that Tyler newsroom!
Caleb: Bitch called me out on that.
me: seriously?
Caleb: And when I mentioned that I was too hardcore to work for an ad agency or marketing firm.
Caleb: She says her husband is both.
Caleb: And I was all, bitch.
me: you shoulda raped that ho
me: then took that job
me: just took it and ran out
me: gone down to Mexico
Caleb: Hey.
Caleb: I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, man.
Caleb: I appreciate that a lot.
me: so, Greece, eh?