Okay I understand and I hate having to press you for an answer. I feel that if I'm important then I should be important enough to warrant an answer. I'm sorry, I know you're busy.
Jesus Christ I come online for 30 seconds and someone google chats me so I have to go invisible. The thing is that you're the only one I want to chat to or email and I get so many other randoms just sending me crap about nothing. I hate it. I wish I could come to Dallas and just camp out in a hotel so I can see you.
Galveston reminds me of that song. Galveston I think it's called. I wish I was in Galveston.
I keep reminding myself of the email you sent me recently where you said there was nowhere you'd rather be than in Newcastle with Jess and I. I try to hold onto that even though it seems foolish of me.
I just watched a video of that 13 year old Syrian boy, tortured and murdered by Syrian authorities. Broken neck and mutilation. It sickens me. I wish I would not look at things posted.
I'm sorry Barrett, I just feel incredibly alone and without direction. I don't see how much I can do to make things better without actually going to Saudi and driving a fucking car myself. The woman who was arrested was released on condition she renounce activism and forego social network protests. What sort of justice is that? How can ordinary people retaliate against state forces when It's all stacked against them.
And I love you so much. I am trying to keep it in check but it is in me. I feel it and I think about you at least 50 times a day (I haven't counted but it's a lot) I just feel very disconnected and on my own. Please don't shut me out. I would do anything to help you. When I get money I will give you it. If I can help you in any way I will. You're my boy and I love you so much. Thank you for replying to me. I want to kiss you a LOT.
No, I was in Galveston with my mom for four terrible days and having to deal with her neurotic nonsense and then I had Caleb get in town yesterday when I got back and have had other things ongoing. It's not you I'm disconnected from; it's just that my mind is occupied right now with trying to figure out my next move, how to make this film script good enough to make me enough money to get out of Dallas, trying to get al-Jazeera to run this fucking piece without ruining it, etc, plus trying to assess what's going to happen to me legally.
Did I do something to upset you? I know you're busy but it still hurts when you don't answer my messages.
Please let me know if my emails irritate you and I'll stop. I'm not sure how it came about but I feel more disconnected from you than ever. It really hurts me.