On Wed, Jun 1, 2011 at 7:39 PM, Barrett Brown <
barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
> We could have healthy boundaries via you coming over and letting me fuck you
> from behind.
>
> On Wed, Jun 1, 2011 at 7:04 PM, Nikki Loehr <
evilevilcouch@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> lol
>>
>> I miss you too.
>>
>> Though it'd be a good idea to not be around each other in person for a
>> while. You know, like, that whole having "healthy boundaries" and
>> such, unlike how we rushed into everything in the beginning.
>>
>> btw when I blocked you on everything whenever ago so as to make it
>> easier for both of us to move on and such; it's harder when you're
>> reminded of the person on a daily basis. We were around each other
>> every single day. That isn't particularly healthy.
>>
>> I'll unblock you from chat...eventually, hahahahaha
>>
>> I dunno, actions have consequences lol
>>
>>
>> Oh yeah but anyway, what'd you hear from Gregg?
>>
>> Oh and also I invited my friends Damon and Mike (software engineers)
>> along with like half a dozen other people to the Memorial Day party
>> (WHICH WAS OMFG SO AWESOME AND AMAZING HOLY CRAP) and I mentioned crap
>> that you were doing and they were all "blah blah blah." I would tell
>> you what they said but I don't remember it so I told them they should
>> tell you.
>>
>> Anyway, yeah.
>>
>> How've you been faring?
>>
>>
>> On Wed, Jun 1, 2011 at 5:26 PM, Barrett Brown <
barriticus@gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>> > Well, wanted to make sure you're basically okay, health-wise, as I was
>> > worried about what you told me as well as what I'd heard from Gregg.
>> > Also I
>> > kind of miss you. I took you for granted to a large extent as I've had a
>> > lot
>> > on my mind for obvious reasons. You should come over.
>> > On Tue, May 31, 2011 at 10:28 PM, Nikki Loehr <
evilevilcouch@gmail.com>
>> > wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Okay, so, um...to what extent do you want updates?
>> >> Like, I dunno
>> >> I could tell you I'm sorta wired right now bc the coffee I made earlier
>> >> with Mexican vanilla extract made it taste like candy, and I ate a box
>> >> of
>> >> cookies and am filled with sugar and spice and caffeine as preparation
>> >> for
>> >> tackling that Columbia essay tonight because it's due tomorrow and I'm
>> >> a
>> >> procrastinator (or I could use the excuse that I've been sick the past
>> >> month, or just pull an artfag and say I was waiting for some "epiphany"
>> >> of
>> >> my "vision").
>> >> Or I could give you updates as if you were my health insurance provider
>> >> (with every dr visit, test performed, and Rx filled).
>> >> Or I could give you updates as if you were my life insurance provider
>> >> (which, in that case, I'm a non-smoker, quarterly perform triathlons,
>> >> have
>> >> never had a tooth cavity and split my downtime between saving puppies
>> >> and
>> >> volunteering at my local church).
>> >> Like, I dunno. We haven't talked for a month. I have no idea wtf to
>> >> say.
>> >> It's sorta like the awkwardness of a coworker sending you a screenshot
>> >> of
>> >> whatever they're working on, but you happen to notice a folder on their
>> >> desktop that says "She-Male Porn."
>> >> Or like your boss whom you work closely with texting you a photo of his
>> >> "eclectically decorated hotel room" while on vacation in Mexico, where
>> >> you
>> >> happen to notice the chrome plated cocktail shaker in the foreground,
>> >> reflecting two naked boys eating grapes whilst lounging on his bed.
>> >>
>> >> ...
>> >> Okay so maybe we didn't have that whole Catholic priest / altar boy
>> >> relationship in a past life.
>> >> sooo anyway...
>> >> I'm fine right now. It gets sorta scary/stressful when dealing with it.
>> >> I
>> >> could elaborate on it all, but if you haven't noticed thus far I'm on a
>> >> caffeine/sugar rush and this email's far too long as it is.
>> >> But, man, those Swedish chocolate mint cookies sure are awesome.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> On May 30, 2011, at 6:41 PM, Barrett Brown <
barriticus@gmail.com>
>> >> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> I hope everything's okay and that you get well. Do whatever the doctors
>> >> tell you, take whatever medications you need to take and let me know
>> >> how
>> >> you're doing.
>> >>
>> >> On Thu, May 26, 2011 at 5:00 PM, Nikki Loehr <
evilevilcouch@gmail.com>
>> >> wrote:
>> >>>
>> >>> Hi. I'm not entirely cognizant at the moment, but I just wanted to
>> >>> make
>> >>> sure you knew that I haven't harbored any hatred or anger towards you.
>> >>> Yeah
>> >>> there was a lot of bullshit but I don't really care. That shit doesn't
>> >>> matter when you're faced with a chronic illness.
>> >>>
>> >>> I dunno what's wrong right now, but my friend from HS (that dude
>> >>> Adrian
>> >>> apart of the "cockblock brigade" when you met me) took me to the ER
>> >>> this
>> >>> afternoon.
>> >>>
>> >>> So far they've done an EKG, took an x-ray of my heart, stuck a
>> >>> catheter
>> >>> in my urethra, stuck an IV drip in my arm, and I'm about to get a CAT
>> >>> scan
>> >>> so they can look at my brain or something. I dunno, I may have had a
>> >>> micro-stroke or some heart thing related to the anemia. The left side
>> >>> of my
>> >>> face and parts of my left arm were sorta numb.
>> >>>
>> >>> But yeah, like, seriously dude, the past is in the past. I really
>> >>> don't
>> >>> give a shot about all of the crazy shit from back then. Whats the
>> >>> point in
>> >>> focusing on the negative? How is that pleasant in any manner? Theres
>> >>> so much
>> >>> pain and death externally, I choose to not have that within my own
>> >>> mind.
>> >>> Yeah, there's physical pain, but I didnt cause it. The doctors are
>> >>> trying to
>> >>> figure that out. All I know is that I don't want to die and that I do
>> >>> love
>> >>> you in whatever way that is. I love you as much as I love my Nadya,
>> >>> though I
>> >>> don't want to be in a relationship with anyone for a very long while,
>> >>> so
>> >>> don't worry about me just jumping to the next fool or whatever. That
>> >>> always
>> >>> hurts to see that after a breakup. lol if anything, I really just want
>> >>> a few
>> >>> cabana boys to give me massages and take out my trash, hahaha. I get
>> >>> pretty
>> >>> cranky when dudes get in my personal space lololol. Yeah I've gone on
>> >>> "dates" but I'm basically just getting out of the house and the dudes
>> >>> insist
>> >>> on paying. I guess im partially entertained by the novelty. lol, man,
>> >>> it's
>> >>> sort of hilarious I must say, but maybe I just don't care because my
>> >>> interests and priorities are invested elsewhere. In that, like, I
>> >>> don't
>> >>> wanna die.
>> >>>
>> >>> Anyway, don't feel weird about shit. The only way for you to move on
>> >>> with
>> >>> clarity is if you are able to forgive yourself.
>> >>>
>> >>> But yeah I dunno if I'll be able to go home from the hospital tonight
>> >>> or
>> >>> whenever I'll get out. Fucking magnets.
>> >>>
>> >>> HOPE YOU'RE DOING SWELL, SON. KEEP ROCKIN THE FUCK OUT or whatever the
>> >>> fuck. Yeah.
>> >>>
>> >>> Man it's cold here I want another fucking blanket. Pft, bitches.
>> >>>
>> >>> Hey at least I'm more
>> >>>
>> >>> Oh CAT scan time gtg
>> >>>
>> >>> Sent from my iPhone
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> --
>> >> Regards,
>> >>
>> >> Barrett Brown
>> >>
512-560-2302
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > --
>> > Regards,
>> >
>> > Barrett Brown
>> >
512-560-2302
>> >
>
>
>
> --
> Regards,
>
> Barrett Brown
>
512-560-2302
>