lol

I miss you too.

Though it'd be a good idea to not be around each other in person for a
while. You know, like, that whole having "healthy boundaries" and
such, unlike how we rushed into everything in the beginning.

btw when I blocked you on everything whenever ago so as to make it
easier for both of us to move on and such; it's harder when you're
reminded of the person on a daily basis. We were around each other
every single day. That isn't particularly healthy.

I'll unblock you from chat...eventually, hahahahaha

I dunno, actions have consequences lol


Oh yeah but anyway, what'd you hear from Gregg?

Oh and also I invited my friends Damon and Mike (software engineers)
along with like half a dozen other people to the Memorial Day party
(WHICH WAS OMFG SO AWESOME AND AMAZING HOLY CRAP) and I mentioned crap
that you were doing and they were all "blah blah blah." I would tell
you what they said but I don't remember it so I told them they should
tell you.

Anyway, yeah.

How've you been faring?

On Wed, Jun 1, 2011 at 5:26 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
> Well, wanted to make sure you're basically okay, health-wise, as I was
> worried about what you told me as well as what I'd heard from Gregg. Also I
> kind of miss you. I took you for granted to a large extent as I've had a lot
> on my mind for obvious reasons. You should come over.
> On Tue, May 31, 2011 at 10:28 PM, Nikki Loehr <evilevilcouch@gmail.com>
> wrote:
>>
>> Okay, so, um...to what extent do you want updates?
>> Like, I dunno
>> I could tell you I'm sorta wired right now bc the coffee I made earlier
>> with Mexican vanilla extract made it taste like candy, and I ate a box of
>> cookies and am filled with sugar and spice and caffeine as preparation for
>> tackling that Columbia essay tonight because it's due tomorrow and I'm a
>> procrastinator (or I could use the excuse that I've been sick the past
>> month, or just pull an artfag and say I was waiting for some "epiphany" of
>> my "vision").
>> Or I could give you updates as if you were my health insurance provider
>> (with every dr visit, test performed, and Rx filled).
>> Or I could give you updates as if you were my life insurance provider
>> (which, in that case, I'm a non-smoker, quarterly perform triathlons, have
>> never had a tooth cavity and split my downtime between saving puppies and
>> volunteering at my local church).
>> Like, I dunno. We haven't talked for a month. I have no idea wtf to say.
>> It's sorta like the awkwardness of a coworker sending you a screenshot of
>> whatever they're working on, but you happen to notice a folder on their
>> desktop that says "She-Male Porn."
>> Or like your boss whom you work closely with texting you a photo of his
>> "eclectically decorated hotel room" while on vacation in Mexico, where you
>> happen to notice the chrome plated cocktail shaker in the foreground,
>> reflecting two naked boys eating grapes whilst lounging on his bed.
>>
>> ...
>> Okay so maybe we didn't have that whole Catholic priest / altar boy
>> relationship in a past life.
>> sooo anyway...
>> I'm fine right now. It gets sorta scary/stressful when dealing with it. I
>> could elaborate on it all, but if you haven't noticed thus far I'm on a
>> caffeine/sugar rush and this email's far too long as it is.
>> But, man, those Swedish chocolate mint cookies sure are awesome.
>>
>>
>> On May 30, 2011, at 6:41 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> I hope everything's okay and that you get well. Do whatever the doctors
>> tell you, take whatever medications you need to take and let me know how
>> you're doing.
>>
>> On Thu, May 26, 2011 at 5:00 PM, Nikki Loehr <evilevilcouch@gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>>
>>> Hi. I'm not entirely cognizant at the moment, but I just wanted to make
>>> sure you knew that I haven't harbored any hatred or anger towards you. Yeah
>>> there was a lot of bullshit but I don't really care. That shit doesn't
>>> matter when you're faced with a chronic illness.
>>>
>>> I dunno what's wrong right now, but my friend from HS (that dude Adrian
>>> apart of the "cockblock brigade" when you met me) took me to the ER this
>>> afternoon.
>>>
>>> So far they've done an EKG, took an x-ray of my heart, stuck a catheter
>>> in my urethra, stuck an IV drip in my arm, and I'm about to get a CAT scan
>>> so they can look at my brain or something. I dunno, I may have had a
>>> micro-stroke or some heart thing related to the anemia. The left side of my
>>> face and parts of my left arm were sorta numb.
>>>
>>> But yeah, like, seriously dude, the past is in the past. I really don't
>>> give a shot about all of the crazy shit from back then. Whats the point in
>>> focusing on the negative? How is that pleasant in any manner? Theres so much
>>> pain and death externally, I choose to not have that within my own mind.
>>> Yeah, there's physical pain, but I didnt cause it. The doctors are trying to
>>> figure that out. All I know is that I don't want to die and that I do love
>>> you in whatever way that is. I love you as much as I love my Nadya, though I
>>> don't want to be in a relationship with anyone for a very long while, so
>>> don't worry about me just jumping to the next fool or whatever. That always
>>> hurts to see that after a breakup. lol if anything, I really just want a few
>>> cabana boys to give me massages and take out my trash, hahaha. I get pretty
>>> cranky when dudes get in my personal space lololol. Yeah I've gone on
>>> "dates" but I'm basically just getting out of the house and the dudes insist
>>> on paying. I guess im partially entertained by the novelty. lol, man, it's
>>> sort of hilarious I must say, but maybe I just don't care because my
>>> interests and priorities are invested elsewhere. In that, like, I don't
>>> wanna die.
>>>
>>> Anyway, don't feel weird about shit. The only way for you to move on with
>>> clarity is if you are able to forgive yourself.
>>>
>>> But yeah I dunno if I'll be able to go home from the hospital tonight or
>>> whenever I'll get out. Fucking magnets.
>>>
>>> HOPE YOU'RE DOING SWELL, SON. KEEP ROCKIN THE FUCK OUT or whatever the
>>> fuck. Yeah.
>>>
>>> Man it's cold here I want another fucking blanket. Pft, bitches.
>>>
>>> Hey at least I'm more
>>>
>>> Oh CAT scan time gtg
>>>
>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>>
>> --
>> Regards,
>>
>> Barrett Brown
>> 512-560-2302
>
>
>
> --
> Regards,
>
> Barrett Brown
> 512-560-2302
>