Welcome to The Faster Times update. In today's edition, we bring you a Hippocratic oath for the Internet, West Coast pitching, family radio, venture capital, and an exciting new journey. Enjoy!

It boggles my mind that, as a nation, our support for free speech completely outweighs our acceptance of freedom. We are more concerned about our kids being exposed to bare boobs and cigarettes than we are about assholes telling them that they’re going to die tomorrow. We grown-ups can make all the funnies about post-rapture looting and job openings that we want to, but I bet many children will be lying awake tonight, wondering if there will be school on Monday, or if they’ll perish in flames. (Do the schools close for hellfire, or just snow? What about alternate-side parking?)

This past weekend, the first of interleague play, the Seattle Mariners swept the San Diego Padres, outscoring them 14-2, while a few hundred miles down the coast, the San Francisco Giants swept the Oakland Athletics, outscoring them 10-5. Neither of these series were the lowest scoring of the weekend as the Texas Rangers and Philadelphia Phillies combined to score only nine runs in a three game series. Nonetheless, the Mariner-Padre series and the Bay Bridge series were illustrative of the growing dominance of west coast pitching.

The real lesson of the Harold Camping false Doomsday prophecy is that the radio is terrible. I never thought I’d write this but Family Radio might just be more damaging to America than Top 40.

Having raised a number of VC rounds personally and observed many more as an investor or friend, I’ve come to think there are a set of dominant best practices that entrepreneurs should follow.

Let me tell you a secret: I went to Harvard and suffer from a kind of social ineptitude only seen among feral hogs and retarded apes. Luckily, I also come from the Midwest, so I have large white teeth from drinking too much milk and a nervous tick where I smile constantly. This somewhat cancels out my more bumbling aspects, and most employers are able to put up with me for a period of 3-4 months, mistaking my inappropriate asides for a kind of vapid sweetness.