Thought you might be interested in this link:

https://s3.amazonaws.com/access.3cdn.net/d6c8d06f03f92ed029_cim6b9gu0.pdf

PDF link on how to organize securely on Facebook.

On 2011-05-05, at 1:10 AM, Barrett Brown wrote:

Thanks, some of this I certainly agree with. A lot of the length is tied up in the list of tools, which I could merely link to; in fact, as the document expands, much of it can be "outsourced" to other linked documents. Regarding your PS, though, certainly you'd agree that this would be of interest to relatively intelligent people who should have no problem understanding what I'd written there? Or do you think the text is just cumbersome? Again, I appreciate it. 

On Wed, May 4, 2011 at 6:37 AM, Oxblood Ruffin <oxblood@me.com> wrote:

On 2011-04-30, at 10:55 AM, Barrett Brown wrote:

I'd be honored if you'd look this over and add to it, particular strategies, tools sections.

Hi, Barrett.

I've looked through your document and have some critical comments which are intended as constructive. 

The first thing that jumps out is length. Also, the diction is a bit pedantic.

I feel that you would be better served by presenting your project more as a marketing document [punchy and concise] and chop it down to two pages max.

If you've ever been to a tech convention you've seen product sell-sheets: One page, front/back; copy/benefits on front, tech specs on back. Obviously in Web format this would be two separate pages.

The other thing you'll need to do is explain up top exactly what Operation Pursuant is. A long drawn out explication of the op will only lose readers. tl;dr.

Here is how I would structure your project. 

--


Operation Pursuant [headline]
Organize around social media and investigate corrupt organizations [call to action] <+ I'm not locked on this. Just that it should be a short imperative sentence that tells people what to do.

Overview: Operation Pursuant empowers everyone to organize online and share information about corrupt organizations. Deep technical knowledge is not required. Social media such as Twitter and Facebook can connect like-minded investigators who wish to collaborate and make a difference. A useful toolset is provided to get you started. <+ Not locked on this either. But the overview should explain what people can expect to read in your doc and feature the main concepts in four to five short sentences. 

[body copy]

Keep this concise and easy to understand. The best way is to picture your average target user: Imagine one of your friends; someone non-technical; explain in very simple language how they will benefit by getting involved. 

Advertising rule of thumb: Benefits, benefits, benefits. Stay away from any tech-speak or complicated terms. Small words; short sentences. Don't be afraid to use bullet points, especially if you're talking about benefits.

[toolset/links] 

Technical details, instructional links, etc., should come at the very end. I'm guessing that many target users will be non-technical, so easing them towards this will raise comfort levels. 

--

You could probably find some useful links on Tactical Tech's Website. I haven't been there for a while but I do recall many practical tips. Also, the Guardian Project [secure Android] is worth a look. The principle is Nate Freitas. He lives in Brooklyn.

--

Warmly,

O.

PS - big writing tip. It's not what you want to say that counts. It's what your readers can understand. 




-- 
Regards,

Barrett Brown
512-560-2302

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Cult of the Dead Cow / Hacktivismo / Ninja Strike Force

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