So that got your attention.

I can't sleep and I'm thinking about you saying my name in the phone call to Mr Ed. It made me go all funny and turned me fucking on.

I had my hair done today and its beautiful. My hairdressser has glandular fever. I didn't kiss her just in case.

I'd kiss you even if you had plague.

Also : video. Am dying for it. Even just you smoking and looking at the cam. Maybe scratch your head or wink at me. Possibly get your dick out. Wave it about a bit. I'd be in raptures.

I know how magnets work. I'll tell you upon receipt of smoking winking penis video.

You have a fake Barrett Twitter trolling you. God, those guys are fucking obsessed with your ass. I use ass in the all encompassing term meaning they are obsessed with all of the Barrett.

I am obsessed with your ass. It's so perfect and smooth. Not that I've seen it. But I imagine its an awfully nice one. Not that I imagine it often. I imagine your mouth often. And your dick. Also your voice. It makes me happy when you speak. I get very excited if I find someone has posted something of you talking. You sound like velvety chocolate. From Texas. Which is the best voice in the world to have.

I typed this all on my phone. See how much I fucking love you. I do. Infinity x a million. That's a googolplex. I love your googolplex. That's a euphemism.

Say my name out loud to yourself when you read this and I'll know. I always loved the way you said it.