Welcome to The Faster Times update. In today's edition, we bring you live sex acts, Charlie Sheen's kids, Nazis, Liz Lemon, and dirty bombs. Enjoy!

A live sex demonstration performed as part of an after-class lecture at Northwestern University has compelled the President, Morton Schapiro to launch an investigation into the incident.

I’m going to start by stating the obvious without rehashing all the gory details: Charlie Sheen is a mess.

This past Saturday, his wife, Brooke Mueller (from whom he is separated; pictured above) was told by police that she could not have the boys removed from Sheen’s home. She cited concerns for their safety, while cops cited the custody order that gave Sheen the right to have the boys in his care at that time.

As an admen to my article, John Galliano and Nazism in Fashion, here is my comprehensive list of who’s who in the Nazi/fashion scene. Drawing from the The Huffington Post‘s collection of responses from top fashion names to John Galliano’s recent anti-semtic rant, I present:

The Fashionism Scene: Who Is and Who Isn’t a Nazi

Tina Fey is the Hillary Rodham Clinton of American comedy.

Fey’s taken a big swipe at her industry’s glass ceiling with 30 Rock, and also with her work on SNL and Mean Girls, though not so much a flying leap upwards as the methodical building of a ladder. Much like Clinton, Fey’s ladder has led her to become the premier female decision-maker in her field; Fey is the grande dame of mainstream comedy as Clinton is…um, Secretary of State.

You may never heard of a radiological dispersal device (RDD). That’s because it’s more often referred to as a dirty bomb. Come to think of it, many don’t even know it by that name, however provocative. (Think of it recited by the English woman in the Orbit gum commercial: Duh-ty Bomb.)

A dirty bomb, though, bears no resemblance whatsoever to a sex bomb. “Dirty” means it’s contaminated with radiation.