Subject: Chat with Catalina Saldaña
From: "Catalina Saldaña" <cat.salda@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

Catalina: ugh! just had a falling out with my only female friend. now im back down to zero
Catalina: whatever, shes an idiot anyway
me: oic
me: I just had a dox war
me: on my twitter
me: some former Anons tried to out some of our hackers
me: didn't realize my friend had all their names, phone numbers, addresses
me: which we just posted
me: also last night I threatened the spokesman for the U.S. Chamber of Commerce
me: talked to NSA this morning to tell them we've acquired Stuxnet
Catalina: ok you win
me: damn right
Catalina: but i DONT HAVE ANY GIRLFRIENDS
Catalina: you still have other government agencies you can piss off
Catalina: its not fair!!!! why does she have to be such an idiot
me: who is this?
Catalina: she told me im too judgmental and stubborn about my opinions
me: I see
Catalina: Elianny
me: that's odd
Catalina: i dont think im judgmental
Catalina: this is all because I said whoopi goldbergs an idiot for saying you have to hit "rock bottom" before you recover from drugs
Catalina: she said im always putting people down
me: lol
me: you're right
Catalina: i know
Catalina: and i know i shouldnt be upset about it because she is an idiot who made me feel bad about myself
Catalina: but I want a girlfriend!!!!
me: gotcha
me: well, we'll be moving up there unless I kill her first
Catalina: i want to go to brunch
Catalina: wos we?
Catalina: who is we?
Catalina: i want to have brunch with girls!! :(
me: I'm sure you can find more girls
Catalina: i cant
Catalina: girls dont like me
Catalina: only Karen liked me
Catalina: sad sad. I feel so sorry for myself blaj blah blah
me: well
Catalina: next time i have a girl friend i will keep my opinions on whoopi goldberg to myself
Catalina: lesson learned
me: no shhit
me: you should have known that
Catalina: yeah. well thanks for letting me vent. though you had no choice. whats going on with you? you going to jail?
me: not yet
me: I should be protected for now
Catalina: good. well need to get married before you go to jail if that happens.
Catalina: because i think they only allow conjugal visits if youre marries
Catalina: not that well be having sex anyway
me: yes we will
me: you're first girl I'll be cheating on this one with
Catalina: your asian girl?
me: yeah