We do not forget

How are you? Jessica told me you had messaged her. It upset me to be honest. I thought you might have contacted me but I can understand why you would want to try to set things straight with her. | think if you take anything from her replies you will take that she is protective of me, fiercely so, to the extent that she only told me you had been in touch with her when she was drunk. I was drunk too and I think I deserve a medal like a frying pan for not emailing you a very drunken message there and then. But I must be more in control than I thought.

I don't really know why I'm writing this. I have resisted so many times. But one doesn't simply stop loving someone when they stop loving you. Thats not how it works, unfortunately. I am trying so hard to forget all about what happened between us because I am more than broken up about it. I just wish you well, I do. I hope you get what you want out of life. I hope you are happy and fulfilled.

I'm loathe to send this because it simply opens up old wounds for me and I am trying to protect myself. I just want to say this: you know you have my help should you need it. I have your back. You know where I am. Just be careful, sweetheart.