Date: August 17, 2010 1:04:23 PM CDT
Subject: Hello, Dr. Stanley!
Dear Dr. Stanley
I feel very silly asking you this since you are so busy, but if you have the time I would greatly appreciate it!
Overall, I am just very confused about what is the best route to take at this moment, in regards to my scholastic endeavors and (hopeful) acceptance to SMU for the fall semester.
My transfer application is currently being reviewed, but my academic history is very poor, and even though I have worked very, very hard the past few years in order to prove my competency for when I would return to school, as you have seen with my CV, it is not looking good. There are six days left until the semester starts. There is a possibility of applying as a non-degree student, but they require transcripts, and I do not think I will have enough time to get those in to that department at this point in time with the semester starting on Monday.
Non-degree students don't get financial aid, and my friend that's the Manager of Enrollment Services said the Director of Financial Aid told the Bursar yesterday that they're out of money. I received enough financial aid to cover all of my tuition and expenses for UNT for this school year, but I really do not think I could do well there.
I did very well when I went to private school growing up. I was in the top 5% of my class at Ursuline Academy. I left there after my sophomore year because I wanted to go to Arts Magnet, but it was too late for me to apply. My junior year I went to public school, and that is when I began to barely pass my classes. So, discouraged by the Texas public school system, I started community college at 16. I went to UNT when I was 17, and continued to barely pass my classes. I had 100s in many of my classes, though failed them due to excessive tardies. In 2007 I was suspended for one year at UNT with a 1.9 GPA. My professors there told me that I would never become a designer. My professors told me that I did not have what it takes to ever achieve my aspirations in life. They told me that I did not have the drive, discipline, or dedication to ever do well. They questioned my career choice and told me to settle for a different field.
Since, I have garnered much success and recognition as a creative professional, and it was hard. The business world is hard; it's cut-throat, and it's especially hard to achieve such success as a female in any male dominated industry, but I did it. I had overcome a lot of adversity.
I have a learning disability. I have pretty severe ADHD. It wasn't diagnosed until I was 17, my second year of college. I did well in private school because the classes were small and I had more individual attention from the teachers. I don't think I can ever do well in a large school. I really don't. I don't think I can go back to UNT, not just because it is such a large school, not just because the professors barely have any time for their students, but because of how they questioned my passion, determination, and perseverance. I know that many others are able to be successful at state universities and at UNT, but I know it is not the school for me.
I want to go to SMU this year. I could possibly, somehow, apply for this semester as a non-degree student, but I do not think there is enough time for the non-degree student application process to go through. I also do not think I will be accepted as a transfer student with such a low transfer GPA, even though I have proven myself capable professionally. Even so, I am not sure how I will cover tuition, even though I submitted my FAFSA early, because institutional aid has "run out."
I don't know. I just want to go to school. I just want to do well. I want to finish my degree. I don't know if I'm just simply being unrealistic, overambitious or what, but I really want to finish school -- not just for myself, but for my father. The last words he spoke on his deathbed to my mother were "...Make sure the girls finish school." I'm driven to do well, and I will succeed...somehow. I've just been so scared about going back to school because my father's last words ring in my ears and it resonates and shakes me so that I am just ever so afraid of failing...again. I'd like to make my father proud. I just know that I can't go back to UNT or any large school. I would like to achieve my full potential and become apart of the student body at an institution that will foster my intellectual growth, so that I can be fully prepared to accomplish all of my goals with benefiting society and the world.
I'm just very confused about what is the best thing to do right now, most specifically, in regards to my application at SMU.
Thank you so much for all of your guidance thus far. I am so sorry this email is so long. Your input has been -- and is -- so greatly appreciated.
Kindest regards,
Nikki Loehr