me: yo me: yo yo me: yo yo yo me: I bongo with my lingo me: You wanna go, you wanna win a war? Mirna: I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE SAID HE me: Like PLO, I don't surrendo Mirna: AND I"LL LEAD YOU ALL WHEREVER YOU MAY BE me: HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD NEWS?!??!?1 me: HE IS RISWN me: OH NOES me: I MEAN HE IS RISEN Mirna: I'LL LEAD YOU ALL IN THE DANCE SAID HE Mirna: DANCE THEN WHEREVER YE MAY BE me: FAGGOT SHUT UP Mirna: KING OF KINGS me: I'LL RAPE YOUR NAVAL Mirna: RAPE IS OK IN THE BIBLE Mirna: so ok me: BY FORCE me: I KNOW LOL Mirna: OH NOES me: I'M A CHRISTIAN me: I GET TO RAPE HEATHENS Mirna: YOU GET TO RAPE EVERYONE me: also me: I run shit Mirna: true. dat. me: Is Ben there? me: I need him to do that anthem me: I've got Jews now so we can work out a contract Mirna: haha Mirna: he's practicing next door Mirna: he'll be done soon me: very well me: I get to dry hump you me: Because I'm now the leader of this movement me: Don't object me: We had a general agreement to the effect that I get to interact with your ass to the extent that I become rich and powerful Mirna: where's your money moneybags? me: Money's coming next me: Notoriety comes firstr me: what does it matter, we're not getting married me: Ben has money me: If I had money, I'd demand marriage me: But I only have fame so I get to hump your ass me: Plus I have to marry this Asian for political reasons Mirna: no i dont think fame gets you a humping Mirna: dot com didnt get a humping Mirna: haha political reasons Mirna: you have to smooth out your eurasianrelations me: lol dot com me: who is that again? Mirna: lol dot org Mirna: 30 rock me: oh lol me: yes but I got to hump you when I was nobody me: so it stands to reason me: that as the romantic and increasingly good-looking leader of a revolutionary faction including CIA and journalists and authors and scientists who now writes for The Guardian me: that I maintain the same right of one dry hump per year me: precedent, you see me: you're a lawyer Mirna: one a year? Mirna: so lets see me: yeah Mirna: we've known each other 12 years? Mirna: so you want retroactive humps me: No, one a year starting noiw Mirna: and future humps Mirna: from henceforth me: No, I won't claim retroactive humps Mirna: haha me: I'm being very reasonable me: Good faith! me: Good faith! Mirna: ok so i am fully clothed me: I AM ARGUING IN GOOD FAITH Mirna: and you can just hump on my butt me: THat's fine Mirna: like elvis' friend me: lol Mirna: precedent and all me: But that takes us down from me humping you in your thong when I was working as a furniture mover Mirna: but will you let the lord into your heart? me: And now that I'm somebody, I get fully clothed hump? Mirna: we were so great in that movie!! me: I ALREADY HAVE Mirna: YOU HAVE NOT me: HE IS MY LORD Mirna: YOU DONT LOVE THE LORD Mirna: YOU HATE HIM me: I WANT TO DRY HUMP HIM Mirna: YOU LOVE HIS FALLEN ANGEL me: FULLY CLOTHED IN HIS TATTERED ROBES Mirna: YOU AND SATAN ARE HOMIES me: anyway, shut up, bitch, I earned this Mirna: THAT MAKES BABY JESUS ITCH me: I got off opiates too Mirna: yay! me: lol itch Mirna: GIVES BABY JESUS HERPES me: thanks in large part to this hot Asian chick Mirna: EYE HERPES me: EYE HERPES Mirna: nice i like this hot asian chick me: she's pretty neat but we've gotten in several major fights in last two days me: and frankly, sweetheart, I know when I'm wrong me: you know I love to apologize to women me: because it smooths things over me: but she was wronf me: oh, also, we'll be coming into Austin weekend after this Mirna: maybe she is pmsing dummy Mirna: lots of stupid fights = pms or baby Mirna: unless the girl's just stupid Mirna: which she's not Mirna: for reals coming? Mirna: stein came and didnt even call anyone Mirna: jessie ran into him in a bar me: lol stein me: I don't know if it's going to work out with this chick. I hope it does. She wasn't PMing, I've fucked her several times a day Mirna: that doesnt matter to pms Mirna: you can have tons of sex while you're pms Mirna: in fact you are horny Mirna: horny and crazy = pms Mirna: oooh and hungry Mirna: basically start naming dwarves Mirna: sleepy Mirna: hard nipply Mirna: haha Mirna: pms is the week BEFORE your period Mirna: makes crazyladies me: naming dwarves? me: THAT IS WHAT I DO IN DWARF FORTRESS Mirna: OMG me: the thing is that she has a big brown ass so I am paralyzed Mirna: you are my SNOW WHITEMAN Mirna: hahah awesome me: I actually tried to leave her last night but she kept objecting me: so I stayed me: then she introduced me to Metalocalypse me: hey, have you not seen The Room? Mirna: you've never seen metalocalypse? Mirna: FOR SHAME Mirna: i dont know what that is Mirna: you should watch bored to death though me: no me: watch The Room me: has Ben not seen it? me: seriously me: this is important Mirna: i dont know what YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT me: THE ROOM me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ4KzClb1C4 me: watch this Mirna: oh you've shown me this Mirna: i love that me: yes me: also, Nikki gets to do stuff to you as well Mirna: sorry Mirna: have to meet a girl first before i can agree to that sort of thing Mirna: also i think we agreed that you could only hump me like a dog so you should say nikki gets to do MORE stuff to you as well me: very well me: she's hot, though me: you'll meet her next weekend me: I wouldn't put up with her Asian bullshit if she wasn't worth it Mirna: hahahahaha Mirna: y are you guys coming? Mirna: pleasure? Mirna: business? me: she's got some friends and relatives there me: and I have some meetings me: PM stuff me: her brother me: lives there me: he wrote a book me: a good one Mirna: nice Mirna: does he need an entertainment lawyer? Mirna: cause i do that you know me: probably not me: are you not working law yet down there? Mirna: i am Mirna: still setting up my website though Mirna: for my new solo entertainment practice me: very food me: good, rather me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cA3b-PbPE0&feature=channel me: me: do you think Mirna is attractive? evilevilcouch@gmail.com: yeah she's pretty me: good evilevilcouch@gmail.com: lol why? me: me: she owes me sexual favors due to an agreement we made years ago whereby if I got famous I got to do whatever I wanted to her and I want you to fuck around with her when we go to Austin and she's agreed Mirna: oh barty me: I know, you're going to cop out on our dealk me: that's fine me: because I'm going to get you drunk and she's going to seduce you Mirna: where are the riches? Mirna: riches were always KEY to the agreement Mirna: you could have become the most famous murderer me: I imagine they'll come with the movie I'm doing, sweetheart Mirna: RICHES barty Mirna: RICHES Mirna: what movie? Mirna: the journalist one? me: it's not too late for murder me: the one about the speechwriter Mirna: that you are letting me play myself in? Mirna: that one? Mirna: i'm the pothead roomate!! me: it's fucking gold and Will Farell's production company is interested me: I'm doing the treatment right now Mirna: NO ONE WILL TAKE THAT PART FROM ME Mirna: you said i could have that part Mirna: I WILL KILL YOU me: should be done in a week or so, been bust with other stuff Mirna: oh ok dont answer me: no shit you'll have it, I'm going to exploit you as much as possible Mirna: YAY EXPLOITATION Mirna: now a good part in a movie me: YAY! me: remember that ad in the old time magazine I had Mirna: that would be fucking rad me: with the guy standing on the rug made of a woman? Mirna: yes me: lol me: that was the most blatant thing I've ever seen Mirna: that should be the speechwriter's mom me: but yeah, I'm not always sure if a project's going to work out but this one is fastracked Mirna: she's a model Mirna: and has that shit framed in her house me: good, you should help me with plot and characters Mirna: along with a lot of other hilarious old ads with her in subjugated poses me: you can get screenwriting credit or some such plus money if you do me: in the meantime me: let me send you this press release Mirna: like her selling farm fresh zucchini while making a surprised face and holding one up Mirna: YES me: and post it on your facebook por favor Mirna: send it to me Mirna: i am a good screenwriter me: you worked on the blimp movie? Mirna: i want to help you on the screenwriting AND i want a part Mirna: or i will hate you forever Mirna: of course i have helped lots of people with scriptytypethings me: Sweetheart, I'm giving you a part because I'm going to capitalize on your charm Mirna: i helped tyler with his treatments too Mirna: but he was stubborn and didnt give me much to work with Mirna: oh so now i can't make threats? me: no shit he was Mirna: I"M LEBANESE Mirna: its what we do Mirna: dammit Mirna: dammit barrett Mirna: KING OF KINGS me: hey, what party runs Lebanon right now? me: Oh, right me: I forgot me: ANARCHY me: LOL ANARCHY Mirna: ZOMG ZLOLS Mirna: ok i gotta go pick dale up from the airport Mirna: he jsut came from visiting his family Mirna: his bro killed himself i think this is the first time he's seen them since Mirna: how can i help you on the screenwriting? Mirna: make a google doc me: Mirna: i helped tyler with his treatments too but he was stubborn and didnt give me much to work with oh so now i can't make threats? Mirna: who are you copying that to? Mirna: you son of a bitch Mirna: your GIRLFRIEND? Mirna: wtf barrett Mirna: WTF Mirna: WTF me: yes, I sent her that exchange about Lebanon because was telling her about it earlier Mirna: barrett lancaster brown me: THAT'S NOT MY NAME Mirna: you know this girl a month and you are sending her our chats? Mirna: WHAT Mirna: THE me: I AM OSIRIS Mirna: FUCK me: I'm sending her relevant amusing portions me: who's Dayle? me: especially parts about lesbian sex