On 1/2/11,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
> Sweetheart please message me when you wake. I can't do anything until
> you do. I can't go through a whole other day of this. I'm distraught.
> I need to know if I meant anything to you. I just can't reconcile the
> you I've come to know with your actions re the videos. I never ever
> thought you'd hurt me. You told me to trust you and I made resolve to
> do just that. And I do trust you. I do not think you meant to hurt me.
> I just can't bear this pain. Anything would be better than this today.
> I'm so depressed sweetheart. Help me to feel better. If you can, if
> you still love me and want me please let us be close again. Let us
> plan and work toward our future together. I have so much love for you.
> I have to feel better. I can't bear this hurt. I love you. Love.
>
> On 1/2/11,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
>> please come back to me. My heart is breaking. I can't bear this pain.
>> I am reminded constantly of things you said to me. You told me you
>> loved me on gmail video chat when I was going to Jessica's school
>> thing. You had just woken up and were in your bed. I remember putting
>> my head in my hands such was the overwhelming effect your words had on
>> me and the candour with which you said them. I believe you do love me.
>> I don't think you can just stop. I don't think you can abandon me like
>> this as if I was nothing. Please Barrett come back to me. I can't bear
>> this silence. I want you back. I want you. I'll come there. As soon as
>> I possibly can. Please give me a chance. We were supposed to have sex.
>> We were supposed to have all the love in the world. Please don't do
>> this to me. I can't bear it. I am in love with you. I can't help it. I
>> can't stop being in love with you. I'll be your girlfriend. I love you
>> Barrett.
>>
>> On 1/2/11,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>> I can't think of anything but you. I am quite stunned by how
>>> distraught I am. I don't know how to relieve the pain except that each
>>> time I send you something telling you of my love for you it seems to
>>> give temporary respite. I am compelled to love you and to tell you
>>> that I do. I want to hold you in my arms and kiss your beautiful
>>> mouth. Oh darling I am so unhappy
>>>
>>> On 1/2/11,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>> I honestly do not know what to do with myself tonight except to keep
>>>> saying I love you. I am sorry, it is not something I say to initiate a
>>>> response. I do not want to be a pest. I feel your love has gone from
>>>> me. I just need to love you, to tell you. I don't know what else to
>>>> do. My heart still beats for you. My soul, the part of me you took
>>>> with such ecstasy of will, with your thought and mind and your life
>>>> force- that part of me is connected to you. I'm bound to you. Through
>>>> our communication, through our honesty and our love I became formed,
>>>> molded, to please you. My whole self became joined to yours as
>>>> certainly as if we had been formed together. My self is tuned to your
>>>> frequency. I am forever seeking you. I can't seem to say what exactly
>>>> this feeling is. Except that you are part of me. Except it is in me to
>>>> want to give you my love. It is in me to love you come what may. I
>>>> want all of you. The whole man. I need to be immersed in you. To make
>>>> you my centre. That is how I am. I am deeply in love and I want that
>>>> love to be freely received, without hindrance. The passion I have for
>>>> you is total. Complete. I want to give you this love, Barrett. I want
>>>> to heal the hurt little boy inside you. I want to show you infinite
>>>> love and acceptance and envelop you in peacefulness and joy. I have so
>>>> much love for you my darling. I feel I have neglected my duty of care
>>>> toward you. I am sorry, I can only say with truth and honesty that I
>>>> loved you throughout all this time and I am so sorry if there was ever
>>>> any time that you did not feel loved. Forgive me sweetheart.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On 1/1/11,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>> I love you, Barrett. Its impossible for me to stop.
>>>>>
>>>>> On 1/1/11,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>> I am trying to be brave and i'm trying to make sense of this. I'm not
>>>>>> feeling very brave at all. I'm intensely vulnerable and my heart is
>>>>>> fragile. I know that your mind is so quick you would have replied by
>>>>>> now if you wanted to reconcile and plan our future. I know that I
>>>>>> must
>>>>>> accept that I have lost you. I felt it a few days ago. Probably
>>>>>> longer. But I did not want to acknowledge it. I love you so much I
>>>>>> can
>>>>>> only want your happiness. If that is to be without me then I must
>>>>>> accept that fact. I know that you loved me once. And I will treasure
>>>>>> that time until forever. I knew real love with you. Real adult sexual
>>>>>> wonderful deep amazing love. And I have it here in my heart. I love
>>>>>> you sweetheart. Never doubt that. I love You.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 1/1/11,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>> I cannot think of anyone but you. Come back to me. Be mine. Just
>>>>>>> mine.
>>>>>>> All mine. I want you. What is that they say - the heart wants what
>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>> heart wants. Don't leave me. Come back to me. I absolutely love you
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> On 1/1/11, Barrett Brown <
barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>> Of course it touches me, Emma. Everything I've told you is true and
>>>>>>>> still
>>>>>>>> applies. It's just complicated, obviously, since we live in
>>>>>>>> different
>>>>>>>> countries and we don't have the means to be together right now.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> On Sat, Jan 1, 2011 at 2:48 PM,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
>>>>>>>>
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> Darling, my dearest love I am in agony. Devastated. I have thought
>>>>>>>>> of
>>>>>>>>> so many ways to reply to this but they are only words. My darling
>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>> simple fact is I love you. Whatever that word encompasses I feel
>>>>>>>>> it
>>>>>>>>> all for you from the depths of my being. I did not think to feel
>>>>>>>>> such
>>>>>>>>> a transformative love as this ever again. I can hardly form my
>>>>>>>>> thoughts in any coherent manner. Except to say to the world and
>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>> darkness of Space and infinity that I love this man with all my
>>>>>>>>> heart
>>>>>>>>> and everything I am. I connot bear the thought of your intimacy
>>>>>>>>> with
>>>>>>>>> someone else. My heart is breaking. I wanted the magical wondrous
>>>>>>>>> life
>>>>>>>>> with you that I could feel was possible. My darling I don't know
>>>>>>>>> if
>>>>>>>>> any of this will touch you because you have met someone else but I
>>>>>>>>> had
>>>>>>>>> to write it because its true. I love you Barrett. I want you to be
>>>>>>>>> happy. I adore you. I don't know what to do with this love now. It
>>>>>>>>> has
>>>>>>>>> filled my soul for these past months. I can't bear the pain. I
>>>>>>>>> just
>>>>>>>>> want you to know I love you. I love you. I love you.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> On 1/1/11, Barrett Brown <
barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>> > Sweetheart. This just happened. I met this girl a few nights ago
>>>>>>>>> > and
>>>>>>>>> > we
>>>>>>>>> > immediately hit it off. I didn't know what to do regarding you
>>>>>>>>> > because
>>>>>>>>> > I
>>>>>>>>> do
>>>>>>>>> > love you, but I did indeed not have any ties here, and yet I'm
>>>>>>>>> > stuck
>>>>>>>>> > here
>>>>>>>>> > for a while, and I need someone I can actually be with right
>>>>>>>>> > now,
>>>>>>>>> > because
>>>>>>>>> > I've almost never had that. You were married and have a daughter
>>>>>>>>> > you
>>>>>>>>> love;
>>>>>>>>> > I've never had anything like that. My family life has been
>>>>>>>>> > abusive
>>>>>>>>> > in
>>>>>>>>> some
>>>>>>>>> > fashion or another forever, and I have trouble relating to other
>>>>>>>>> > people.
>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>> > can't not feel attracted to other girls, and I can't have you
>>>>>>>>> > right
>>>>>>>>> > now
>>>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>>>> > anything more than a conceptual way that is more pleasing to a
>>>>>>>>> > female
>>>>>>>>> than
>>>>>>>>> > it is to a male, and which leaves me just as alone in the human,
>>>>>>>>> > flesh
>>>>>>>>> sense
>>>>>>>>> > as I was previously. This doesn't mean that we can't be together
>>>>>>>>> > at
>>>>>>>>> > some
>>>>>>>>> > point when finances and all that allow us to be; it means that,
>>>>>>>>> > for
>>>>>>>>> > now,
>>>>>>>>> > I've met a girl who I want to spend time with. I didn't know how
>>>>>>>>> > to
>>>>>>>>> > tell
>>>>>>>>> you
>>>>>>>>> > but I had to put up that video as a bargaining chip with this
>>>>>>>>> > guy
>>>>>>>>> > who's
>>>>>>>>> been
>>>>>>>>> > acting in an abusive manner towards her; I should have told you
>>>>>>>>> immediately,
>>>>>>>>> > but I didn't want to go through with it. I still want whatever
>>>>>>>>> relationship
>>>>>>>>> > with you that you will accept knowing that as long as we are
>>>>>>>>> > apart
>>>>>>>>> > I
>>>>>>>>> > have
>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>> > have something for myself.
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > On Sat, Jan 1, 2011 at 1:04 PM,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
>>>>>>>>> >
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> >> Sweetheart, I can't just switch off the love. But i'm
>>>>>>>>> >> devastated.
>>>>>>>>> >> I
>>>>>>>>> >> had no idea you had a girlfriend. I thought you wanted to leave
>>>>>>>>> >> dallas
>>>>>>>>> >> because you had no ties there and come here. I'm hurting so
>>>>>>>>> >> much.
>>>>>>>>> >> Please tell me if you loved me. Or tell me to go and I will
>>>>>>>>> >> although
>>>>>>>>> >> it absolutely breaks my heart to even contemplate that. I love
>>>>>>>>> >> you
>>>>>>>>> >> Barrett. I am deeply in love with you and I can't keep from
>>>>>>>>> >> saying
>>>>>>>>> >> it
>>>>>>>>> >> to you because it is part of me. You are part of me.
>>>>>>>>> >>
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > --
>>>>>>>>> > Regards,
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > Barrett Brown
>>>>>>>>> > 512-560-2302
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> --
>>>>>>>> Regards,
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Barrett Brown
>>>>>>>> 512-560-2302
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>
>