I am trying to be brave and i'm trying to make sense of this. I'm not
feeling very brave at all. I'm intensely vulnerable and my heart is
fragile. I know that your mind is so quick you would have replied by
now if you wanted to reconcile and plan our future. I know that I must
accept that I have lost you. I felt it a few days ago. Probably
longer. But I did not want to acknowledge it. I love you so much I can
only want your happiness. If that is to be without me then I must
accept that fact. I know that you loved me once. And I will treasure
that time until forever. I knew real love with you. Real adult sexual
wonderful deep amazing love. And I have it here in my heart. I love
you  sweetheart. Never doubt  that. I love You.

On 1/1/11, emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:

I cannot think of anyone but you. Come back to me. Be mine. Just mine.
All mine. I want you. What is that they say - the heart wants what the
heart wants. Don't leave me. Come back to me. I absolutely love you

On 1/1/11, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Of course it touches me, Emma. Everything I've told you is true and still
applies. It's just complicated, obviously, since we live in different
countries and we don't have the means to be together right now.

On Sat, Jan 1, 2011 at 2:48 PM, emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:

Darling, my dearest love I am in agony. Devastated. I have thought of
so many ways to reply to this but they are only words. My darling the
simple fact is I love you. Whatever that word encompasses I feel it
all for you from the depths of my being. I did not think to feel such
a transformative love as this ever again. I can hardly form my
thoughts in any coherent manner. Except to say to the world and the
darkness of Space and infinity that I love this man with all my heart
and everything I am. I connot bear the thought of your intimacy with
someone else. My heart is breaking. I wanted the magical wondrous life
with you that I could feel was possible. My darling I don't know if
any of this will touch you because you have met someone else but I had
to write it because its true. I love you Barrett. I want you to be
happy. I adore you. I don't know what to do with this love now. It has
filled my soul for these past months. I can't bear the pain. I just
want you to know I love you. I love you. I love you.

On 1/1/11, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Sweetheart. This just happened. I met this girl a few nights ago and
we
immediately hit it off. I didn't know what to do regarding you because
I

do

love you, but I did indeed not have any ties here, and yet I'm stuck
here
for a while, and I need someone I can actually be with right now,
because
I've almost never had that. You were married and have a daughter you

love;

I've never had anything like that. My family life has been abusive in

some

fashion or another forever, and I have trouble relating to other
people.

I

can't not feel attracted to other girls, and I can't have you right
now

in

anything more than a conceptual way that is more pleasing to a female

than

it is to a male, and which leaves me just as alone in the human, flesh

sense

as I was previously. This doesn't mean that we can't be together at
some
point when finances and all that allow us to be; it means that, for
now,
I've met a girl who I want to spend time with. I didn't know how to
tell

you

but I had to put up that video as a bargaining chip with this guy
who's

been

acting in an abusive manner towards her; I should have told you

immediately,

but I didn't want to go through with it. I still want whatever

relationship

with you that you will accept knowing that as long as we are apart I
have

to

have something for myself.

On Sat, Jan 1, 2011 at 1:04 PM, emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:

Sweetheart, I can't just switch off the love. But i'm devastated. I
had no idea you had a girlfriend. I thought you wanted to leave
dallas
because you had no ties there and come here. I'm hurting so much.
Please tell me if you loved me. Or tell me to go and I will although
it absolutely breaks my heart to even contemplate that. I love you
Barrett. I am deeply in love with you and I can't keep from saying it
to you because it is part of me. You are part of me.

--
Regards,

Barrett Brown
512-560-2302

--
Regards,

Barrett Brown
512-560-2302