Darling, my dearest love I am in agony. Devastated. I have thought of
so many ways to reply to this but they are only words. My darling the
simple fact is I love you. Whatever that word encompasses I feel it
all for you from the depths of my being. I did not think to feel such
a transformative love as this ever again. I can hardly form my
thoughts in any coherent manner. Except to say to the world and the
darkness of Space and infinity that I love this man with all my heart
and everything I am. I connot bear the thought of your intimacy with
someone else. My heart is breaking. I wanted the magical wondrous life
with you that I could feel was possible. My darling I don't know if
any of this will touch you because you have met someone else but I had
to write it because its true. I love you Barrett. I want you to be
happy. I adore you. I don't know what to do with this love now. It has
filled my soul for these past months. I can't bear the pain. I just
want you to know I love you. I love you. I love you.

On 1/1/11, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
> Sweetheart. This just happened. I met this girl a few nights ago and we
> immediately hit it off. I didn't know what to do regarding you because I do
> love you, but I did indeed not have any ties here, and yet I'm stuck here
> for a while, and I need someone I can actually be with right now, because
> I've almost never had that. You were married and have a daughter you love;
> I've never had anything like that. My family life has been abusive in some
> fashion or another forever, and I have trouble relating to other people. I
> can't not feel attracted to other girls, and I can't have you right now in
> anything more than a conceptual way that is more pleasing to a female than
> it is to a male, and which leaves me just as alone in the human, flesh sense
> as I was previously. This doesn't mean that we can't be together at some
> point when finances and all that allow us to be; it means that, for now,
> I've met a girl who I want to spend time with. I didn't know how to tell you
> but I had to put up that video as a bargaining chip with this guy who's been
> acting in an abusive manner towards her; I should have told you immediately,
> but I didn't want to go through with it. I still want whatever relationship
> with you that you will accept knowing that as long as we are apart I have to
> have something for myself.
>
> On Sat, Jan 1, 2011 at 1:04 PM, emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
> emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Sweetheart, I can't just switch off the love. But i'm devastated. I
>> had no idea you had a girlfriend. I thought you wanted to leave dallas
>> because you had no ties there and come here. I'm hurting so much.
>> Please tell me if you loved me. Or tell me to go and I will although
>> it absolutely breaks my heart to even contemplate that. I love you
>> Barrett. I am deeply in love with you and I can't keep from saying it
>> to you because it is part of me. You are part of me.
>>
>
>
>
> --
> Regards,
>
> Barrett Brown
> 512-560-2302
>