Darling, my dearest love I am in agony. Devastated. I have thought of
so many ways to reply to this but they are only words. My darling the
simple fact is I love you. Whatever that word encompasses I feel it
all for you from the depths of my being. I did not think to feel such
a transformative love as this ever again. I can hardly form my
thoughts in any coherent manner. Except to say to the world and the
darkness of Space and infinity that I love this man with all my heart
and everything I am. I connot bear the thought of your intimacy with
someone else. My heart is breaking. I wanted the magical wondrous life
with you that I could feel was possible. My darling I don't know if
any of this will touch you because you have met someone else but I had
to write it because its true. I love you Barrett. I want you to be
happy. I adore you. I don't know what to do with this love now. It has
filled my soul for these past months. I can't bear the pain. I just
want you to know I love you. I love you. I love you.

On 1/1/11, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:

Sweetheart. This just happened. I met this girl a few nights ago and we
immediately hit it off. I didn't know what to do regarding you because I do
love you, but I did indeed not have any ties here, and yet I'm stuck here
for a while, and I need someone I can actually be with right now, because
I've almost never had that. You were married and have a daughter you love;
I've never had anything like that. My family life has been abusive in some
fashion or another forever, and I have trouble relating to other people. I
can't not feel attracted to other girls, and I can't have you right now in
anything more than a conceptual way that is more pleasing to a female than
it is to a male, and which leaves me just as alone in the human, flesh sense
as I was previously. This doesn't mean that we can't be together at some
point when finances and all that allow us to be; it means that, for now,
I've met a girl who I want to spend time with. I didn't know how to tell you
but I had to put up that video as a bargaining chip with this guy who's been
acting in an abusive manner towards her; I should have told you immediately,
but I didn't want to go through with it. I still want whatever relationship
with you that you will accept knowing that as long as we are apart I have to
have something for myself.

On Sat, Jan 1, 2011 at 1:04 PM, emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:

Sweetheart, I can't just switch off the love. But i'm devastated. I
had no idea you had a girlfriend. I thought you wanted to leave dallas
because you had no ties there and come here. I'm hurting so much.
Please tell me if you loved me. Or tell me to go and I will although
it absolutely breaks my heart to even contemplate that. I love you
Barrett. I am deeply in love with you and I can't keep from saying it
to you because it is part of me. You are part of me.

--
Regards,

Barrett Brown
512-560-2302