Subject: Chat with Caleb Pritchard
From: Caleb Pritchard <cpritchard2001@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

Caleb: Hey, dude.
Caleb: HEY, DUDE!
Caleb: I'M TALKIN' TO YOU, FAGGOT!
Caleb: Nah, I'm kiddin', fool.
Caleb: Hey, dude.
me: oh hai!
Caleb: Hey, guy!
Caleb: Hey, how about those big doin's down in Washington City?
Caleb: Goldurned locofos!
Caleb: Or, perhaps, gawldurned.
Caleb: If you like.
me: CONGRESS?!?!
me: MORE LIKE CLOWNGRESS
Caleb: I hear that.
Caleb: But, seriously, they're all faggots.
Caleb: I'm through with this two-party oligarchy, man.
Caleb: I'm ditchin' this scene, for realz.
Caleb: There's just too much cynicism.
Caleb: Used to be about the kids, man.
Caleb: You should watch _Where the Buffalo Roam_, by the way.
me: THERE IS ONLY ONE PARTY, THE PROPERTY PARTY
me: HI I'M GORE VIDAL
Caleb: Hey, he's still alive, by they way.
me: Oh, I know
me: I happen to know that he's very much alive
me: And still vigorous
Caleb: And thorough.
me: He's a good man.
me: And thorough.
Caleb: I chuckle.
Caleb: A noise I do rather well.
me: All the better for seeing you, my dear, as the Irish so treacherously say.
Caleb: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPkgJFGPcHo
Caleb: 5:00
me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LcplGLXMOI
Caleb: What the heck am I watch here?
Caleb: Whisky tango foxtrot?!
Caleb: Good.
Caleb: Dozens of WikiLeaks supporters who had gathered outside the courthouse converged on vehicle, banging on its side panels and yelling "We love you!"
me: yeah, saw that
me: guy thinks he's Barack Jagger or something
Caleb: WHA?!?
me: Gore Vidal rules
Caleb: Duh.
me: I'm kinda bummed because I missed this episode of my favorite cultural train wreck, 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.' I'm like a rubberbecker, man. Every night, it's the crash of fuckin' metal when that show starts.
Me and my friends have a little office pool wondering when exactly which episode and which guest is gonna be on the night Jay finally puts a nine millimeter in his mouth and blows his Dorito shilling head off his fuckiin' body. I think it's gonna be Joey Lawrence from the show 'Blossom,' uhhhhh...other of my friends beg to differ and think Patrick Duffy a more likely culprit.
"'So hi, everyone, welcome to the show. Tonight we have Joey Lawrence. Hi, Joey. How are ya? It's good to see ya again. Boy, it was always my comedic dream to be 44 years old and interviewin' a little Tony Danza wannabe every three months. Boy I'm fully fulfilled as a human, spiritually. So, anyway, Joey, you're 16 now, you're 16 years old?'
"'Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh.'
"'That's great. You gotta license? Ya drivin'? Ya drivin'?'
"'Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh.'
"'That's great, ya gotta license. Ya gotta car? Ya gotta car?'
"'Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh.'
"'Ya gotta girlfriend, hmmm? Ya datin' somebody? Anybody special?'
"'Yeah, no, well, she thinks so, I don't, hee-hee-hee-hee-hee.'
"'Good God, what have I done with my life?'"
Ch-chick...PLOOOSH!
His brains splew out, forming an NBC peacock on the wall behind him... cause he's a company man 'til the bitter fuckin' end.

Caleb: Peter Dresden?
Caleb: Or Gore Vidal?
me: your boyfriend
me: Bill Hicks