On 11/29/10,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
> My darling Barrett! Of course I want you to explain all of it to me. I
> want that more than anything. I want to be close to you. Very close. I
> am inordinately interested in everything thats ever happened to you,
> ever. You're like the most fascinating book I could ever get to read.
> Knowing more about you actually nourishes me. It feeds our
> relationship, such as it is, given the obvious limitations. But in
> this way we overcome some of the barriers enforced by geography. I can
> mind meld with you, like vulcans do. Which is quite appropriate given
> the vulcan reliance on logic and rejection of emotion. I love Star
> Trek. You can be Mr Spock and I'll be the voluptuous blonde Ukranian
> nurse. I think I got that last bit from Wikileaks. We can still play
> Star Trek though, right? Anyway yes please, do tell me all. Be
> completely honest with me. I love all of you. I want to know all of
> you.
>
>
> On 11/29/10, Barrett Brown <
barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
>> Thanks for this. I'm so appreciative that you're letting me explain this
>> and
>> can understand it. I've never been able to have this conversation before.
>>
>> On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 2:33 PM,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
>>
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> Its quite difficult for me to understand the emotional detachment you
>>> feel
>>> most of the time because I am so emotional most of the time, which is
>>> mainly
>>> a pain in the arse, but anyway. I wish I was not so emotional.
>>>
>>> My own childhood was quite strained and not ideal - my dad is not my
>>> dad
>>> -
>>> I don't know who my dad is, i have never wanted to know. I figure he
>>> didn't
>>> want anything to do with me or my mum so, anyway, there's that. The man
>>> I
>>> call my dad is a sweet man but has never really been a father to me, in
>>> that
>>> I never felt the close bond one is supposed to have with a father. In
>>> that
>>> way I can relate to your own experience, except my real father has
>>> always
>>> been absent and never wanted to see me. This sort of stuff needs to be
>>> talked about rather than written about. There are other issues with my
>>> mum,
>>> not least that she is a christian and it colours her whole world, in a
>>> narrow minded parochial way which infuriates me.
>>>
>>> I have always been an outsider, at school and everywhere Ive ever
>>> worked,
>>> even at University. So I can really relate to that feeling of detachment
>>> and
>>> I can count on one hand my close friends or those I would trust with
>>> anything personal. People think I am cold and distant but thats only
>>> because
>>> I really can't stand most people, including most of my family, parents,
>>> sister, although I like her slightly better now, probably because she's
>>> in
>>> Australia. I do most things alone, make decisions, plan my days, I
>>> really
>>> don't need people around me. I like very few people that much to want
>>> their
>>> company. Thats why I value you so much. I actually really like you and I
>>> find you funny, smart interesting and hot. I could easily spend entire
>>> weeks
>>> with you and not even get mad with you once. You see, with people I love
>>> I
>>> am completely different. I would do anything for Jessica, anything for
>>> you
>>> and I have infinite patience.
>>>
>>> The bottom line is I want this to work. So I will give you all the time
>>> you
>>> need to develop your feelings for me. I don't want to force anything, as
>>> if
>>> I could. You strike me as very determined in what you want anyway and I
>>> doubt I could persuade you into something your heart wasn't in. I also
>>> understand myself enough to know that I only want this if you want it.
>>> If
>>> that makes sense. The thing is I forget about the drugs and I forget
>>> about
>>> the emotional detachment so I get upset, feel rejected and forgotten.
>>> But
>>> I
>>> will make myself remember and allow you time to make me more a part of
>>> your
>>> world. I'm on your side, I want to make things good for us, for as long
>>> as
>>> you do.
>>>
>>> On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 6:15 AM,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
>>>
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Oh God this just breaks my heart. Really and truly, I am so fucking
>>>> angry with your dad. I need to think and calm down or my reply will
>>>> just be a line of expletives. I'll reply at length today. My sweet,
>>>> dear, perfect Barrett.
>>>>
>>>> On 11/28/10, Barrett Brown <
barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> > I can tell you that I've meant everything I've said to you thus far
>>>> about
>>>> > loving you. I want what we've talked about in terms of absolute
>>>> > honesty
>>>> and
>>>> > understanding. But I also meant what I said when I told you how
>>>> difficult
>>>> > it's going to be for me to get to that point. Even aside from the
>>>> > drugs,
>>>> I
>>>> > have some considerable emotional detachment problems that mostly stem
>>>> from
>>>> > when I was a child. My dad is an extraordinarily selfish and frankly
>>>> > terrible person. When my parents were divorced it was acrimonious. My
>>>> first
>>>> > memory is of my dad calling my mom and the two of them arguing and
>>>> > then
>>>> her
>>>> > handing me the phone, at which point my dad told me he wasn't going
>>>> > to
>>>> see
>>>> > me any more because my mom was being "mean" to him, and of course I
>>>> > was
>>>> > inconsolable for I don't know how long afterwards. Later he did
>>>> > resume
>>>> > seeing me and was supposed to do so every week - my mom basically
>>>> guilted
>>>> > him into it - but often times he wouldn't come and I'd be sitting out
>>>> there
>>>> > waiting for him for an hour or two until giving up. That's not
>>>> everything,
>>>> > but it's probably a good portion of why I have problems getting close
>>>> > to
>>>> > people - even aside from the fact that I have half of this man's
>>>> > genes.
>>>> It
>>>> > didn't help that I spent an unusually large amount of my childhood
>>>> > and
>>>> > adolescence alone, being an only child with a working mother and
>>>> > having
>>>> > trouble relating to my peers, or that I've spent a good portion of
>>>> > my
>>>> time
>>>> > since alone as a freelancer with little in common with most anyone.
>>>> > It's
>>>> > almost as if I'm autistic to some extent. I know it doesn't seem that
>>>> way
>>>> > from what you see in the videos. At any rate, I do love you, and I'm
>>>> really
>>>> > trying to break out of all of this so that I can love you in the way
>>>> that I
>>>> > want to so that we can be emotionally connected. It's just going to
>>>> > take
>>>> > some time for me because it's so alien to what I'm used to. Be
>>>> > patient
>>>> with
>>>> > me, and don't take it personally when I can't express that love to
>>>> > you
>>>> as
>>>> > consistently as someone else could. Remember that I have been able to
>>>> really
>>>> > feel and engage in that love on occasions so far, and I'll do so more
>>>> > as
>>>> > time goes on. It's just so hard for me to be a flesh and blood human
>>>> being
>>>> > because I've never felt like one.
>>>> >
>>>> > On Sun, Nov 28, 2010 at 6:11 PM,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
>>>> >
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >
>>>> >> I don't feel that you feel the same deep overwhelming lost kind of
>>>> >> love that envelops me when I think about you. I lust after you as
>>>> >> you
>>>> >> know, but entwined all around and within that lust is need and
>>>> >> craving
>>>> >> and feelings I associate with falling in love. I feel this is love
>>>> >> and
>>>> >> romance and heady intoxicating and bewildering desire all at once. I
>>>> >> do not know if you feel that or if you are like the boy you told me
>>>> >> you were when we first began this . You do not seem like a boy to
>>>> >> me.
>>>> >> You have all the qualities I associate with maturity and wisdom and
>>>> >> manhood combined with the boyish charm. I would still like to know
>>>> >> exactly how you feel toward me. If you are unused to seeing a woman
>>>> >> as
>>>> >> more than something you fuck then I need to know. I think you like
>>>> >> more about me than just my tits and ass. I can pick somebody up if
>>>> >> all
>>>> >> I want is to fuck but this with you is far more than just fucking.
>>>> >> It's fucking plus a million. It's perfect. I'm scared by how intense
>>>> >> I
>>>> >> feel. I would do any filthy thing you asked of me and my thoughts
>>>> >> are
>>>> >> getting more lascivious, more extreme as days go by. I think I
>>>> >> stopped
>>>> >> making sense back there somewhere and now i'm just rambling. I know
>>>> >> I
>>>> >> love you. It's not even funny how much I want your cock. I would
>>>> >> kill
>>>> >> anyone that got near it or you at this point. Sometimes your replies
>>>> >> are quite curt. Even dismissive. I'm probably way too sensitive and
>>>> >> need to develop a thick skin but i'm soft and exposed with you.
>>>> >>
>>>> >> On 11/28/10, Barrett Brown <
barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >> > You don't feel love from me?
>>>> >> >
>>>> >> > On Sun, Nov 28, 2010 at 5:36 PM,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
>>>> >> >
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >> >
>>>> >> >> Okay the sex part- fucking hell. Fantastic. But. Need the love. I
>>>> need
>>>> >> >> it or I can't go near my cunt for you. I need to feel you in my
>>>> heart.
>>>> >> >>
>>>> >> >> On 11/28/10,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
>>>>
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com>
>>>> >> >> wrote:
>>>> >> >> > Want to hold you in my arms while you suckle me and I
>>>> >> >> > masturbate.
>>>> >> >> > I'll
>>>> >> >> > come in seconds. And again.
>>>> >> >> >
>>>> >> >> > On 11/28/10, Barrett Brown <
barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >> >> >> God, I want to such them for hours.
>>>> >> >> >>
>>>> >> >> >> On Sun, Nov 28, 2010 at 2:57 PM,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com <
>>>> >> >> >>
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >> >> >>
>>>> >> >> >>> I could hardly think to speak coherently in the video. All I
>>>> want
>>>> >> >> >>> to
>>>> >> >> >>> do
>>>> >> >> >>> is
>>>> >> >> >>> get fucked by you. Thats all I can think about. Can't even
>>>> >> >> >>> think
>>>> >> about
>>>> >> >> >>> Islam. Don't give a fuck if we get overrun by the fuckers.
>>>> >> >> >>> Just
>>>> >> >> >>> want
>>>> >> >> >>> your
>>>> >> >> >>> cock every way I can
>>>> >> >> >>>
>>>> >> >> >>>
>>>> >> >> >>> On Sun, Nov 28, 2010 at 7:52 PM, Barrett Brown
>>>> >> >> >>> <
barriticus@gmail.com>wrote:
>>>> >> >> >>>
>>>> >> >> >>>> Masturbating. Your tits are gigantic. I want to cum all over
>>>> them.
>>>> >> >> >>>>
>>>> >> >> >>>>
>>>> >> >> >>>> On Sun, Nov 28, 2010 at 9:54 AM,
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com
>>>> >> >> >>>> <
>>>> >> >> >>>>
emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >> >> >>>>
>>>> >> >> >>>>> I sent muchos tit pics and a tit video and I want your
>>>> reaction
>>>> >> NOW
>>>> >> >> >>>>
>>>> >> >> >>>>
>>>> >> >> >>>>
>>>> >> >> >>>>
>>>> >> >> >>>> --
>>>> >> >> >>>> Regards,
>>>> >> >> >>>>
>>>> >> >> >>>> Barrett Brown
>>>> >> >> >>>> 512-560-2302
>>>> >> >> >>>>
>>>> >> >> >>>
>>>> >> >> >>>
>>>> >> >> >>
>>>> >> >> >>
>>>> >> >> >> --
>>>> >> >> >> Regards,
>>>> >> >> >>
>>>> >> >> >> Barrett Brown
>>>> >> >> >> 512-560-2302
>>>> >> >> >>
>>>> >> >> >
>>>> >> >>
>>>> >> >
>>>> >> >
>>>> >> >
>>>> >> > --
>>>> >> > Regards,
>>>> >> >
>>>> >> > Barrett Brown
>>>> >> > 512-560-2302
>>>> >> >
>>>> >>
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> > --
>>>> > Regards,
>>>> >
>>>> > Barrett Brown
>>>> > 512-560-2302
>>>> >
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> Regards,
>>
>> Barrett Brown
>> 512-560-2302
>>
>