Subject: Chat with Emma Allan
From: Emma Allan <emilieduchatelet8@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

me: oh hi
me: this is a chat box
me: welcome to the future
me: I'm going to jack off now
Emma: baby! Im supposed to be invisible to deter unwanted suitors because I am the target of LOONIES. But hello and KISS
me: oh, good
me: I love you
Emma: obvi
Emma: yes i lobve you too
Emma: and i cant spell
me: that's okay
me: I'm hard, tell me things
Emma: how can you know Im here if Im invisible?
Emma: oh dirty things
me: yes please
Emma: Im eating a biscuit in a VERY lascivious manner
Emma: lol
me: terrible timin
me: g
me: put down your biscuits
Emma: yes si taking off nix
Emma: sir
Emma: spreading legs
me: are your tits outs?
Emma: of course they are (not really but imagine it )
me: good enough, jacking off now
Emma: okay make it really hard
Emma: btw i want to kiss you
Emma: and want you inside me
Emma: this is what I want
Emma: this would be an awful lot sexier in the flesh
Emma: i could show you things
Emma: you could touch me
Emma: inside
Emma: i wouldnt eat biscuits
Emma: youve never heard me say *Fuck me Barrett* I will have to make a video for you of me saying that.
me: whew, done
Emma: Have I ever said I love you on a video
Emma: really?
Emma: done
me: yep
Emma: how?
me: ?
Emma: it took you 24 hours last time
me: was on subuxone
Emma: not on it now?
me: not yet
Emma: oh I see sorry
Emma: don't understand how it works yet
Emma: Ive been emailing Clark
me: right
Emma: he wants to put your stuff on the website
me: I haven't gotten on that yet but will clear through my e-mail today
Emma: I have a headache
me: poor thing
Emma: there are some weird things going on at facebook that i think you should know about - I'll email you
me: what?
Emma: some insane old men who think they're in love with me
Emma: causing trouble
me: what are they doing?
Emma: thats why my wall is set to private
Emma: maligning me to my friends
me: have you met these men?
Emma: no thats the bizarre thing
Emma: one thinks he was in a relationship with me, but we've never met
Emma: Ive had unwanted attention before but this is off the charts
me: what are they saying?
Emma: that Im sexually voracious, that my friend and i are the same person, that Im not to be trusted, that I betrayed them (?)
me: what friend?
Emma: Charlotte, shes a friend of mine
Emma: on facebook
Emma: and in real life
Emma: It may seem innocuous but it has come out of nowhere
Emma: they also say my friend Kenneth is a sexual predator and con man
me: who are these guys?
Emma: One unfriended me and is called Roland J Branconnier. The other I have kept as a friend because I think he may harm himself although my friend Jeremy says his mental health is not my concern. He's the one who told Kenneth he was in a relationship with me. He goes by the name of Alonzo Magoodledoodle (real name Alan Judd) He is about 60, lives with his mother and works at an autioneers.
Emma: auctioneers
Emma: They know nothing about me, don't know I have a daughter (I only trust you with that information) and don't knwo where I am in England
Emma: I am very glad I kept my identity and daughter to myself because these men are very weird. I thought they were friendly and being silly but all the time they thought they were involved with me somehow
me: wow, this guy's kind of a scrub
Emma: Ive been thinking about leaving facebook because of it - and Jessica knows nothing about any of it
Emma: they are both idiots - of dubious intelligence and negligible wit
Emma: Im not concerned for mysefl - they dont know where I am, but when I think about Jessica I get very angry and defensive, although neither knows about her. It still worries me that people like that are prowling the internet
Emma: Roland friend requested her because he saw her posts on my wall but I told her to unfriend him which she did gladl because she sensed he was a creep
Emma: Its upsetting being the unwitting target of weirdos
Emma: Its been on my mind but I am not reacting to any of it - Kenneth has *spies* out who read the threads etc about us but I don't want to know. Its all malicious lies
me: I guess just ignore them,
Emma: oh I do
Emma: totally
me: I don't know what they're saying, though; they don't have your real name?
Emma: They know Im called Emma, that is quite well known but I dont think they know anything else. I'm mainlty concerned that you would see soemthing (as we have some friends in common now) and you would start to wonder - so I wanted to tell you about it all
me: how come I know this Roland guy?
me: where did I see him?
Emma: There is nothing to the lies - they are simply the delusional ramblings of
me: weren't you guys friends just like days ago?
Emma: You know him?
me: no, just Facebook
me: I remember seeing it before
Emma: oh - yes! thats the thing - it all happened this last week#
me: what's his deal exactly?
Emma: suddenly I was persona non grata
Emma: do you mean what does he do?
me: no, I mean what went down with him?
Emma: between him and I?
Emma: nothing!
me: I mean why is there this facebook conflict?
Emma: Im not sure but I think that Alonzo (Alan) began making fake accounts and messaging people (Roland included) about me after I rejected him - this was after I had changed my wall settings and started to ignore most of Rolands messages and posts because he was becoming a pest. Roland thought he was in with a chance with me obviously and has taken umbrdge (this is all supposition but its all I can come up with for a reason) He was sycophantic and weasley - alwasy complienting me. And I didnt respond so he took it as rejection and with Alan thinking he was in a relationship with me (Alan has some sensitive issues regarding women,he has never had a girlfriend etd) anyway these two put their heads together and decided I was the devil and that is that
Emma: thast what I think anyway
me: gotcha, I can see it, his picture certainly lends some color to the potential narrative
Emma: my friend Jeremy thinks they are both bonkers and I was just unfortunate enough to be caught up in it
me: okay, facebook is gay. anway, my dwaves were overrun.
me: it's the survivors I really feel sorry for
Emma: I am sorry, I loved those little guys
me: circle of life
Emma: maybe we can have some dwarves of our own
me: there are still seven or eight sitting around alive amongst all the decaying bodies of their friends
Emma: thats macabre
me: one dwarf baby actually saw her mom get killed by goblins and then crawled off
Emma: thats REALLY sad
Emma: anything with babies is sa
Emma: d
me: there are some pretty significant consequences emotionally for not having your shit together
Emma: I am now vert wary of playing this game
Emma: I dont know if Im up to it
Emma: I feel like an peeled orange, very vulnerable
Emma: My dwarves would all be dead in a week
me: now, now
me: you'll just assist me
Emma: oh okay then
Emma: then if they die i can blame you
me: good to be in a relationship again
Emma: with me or the dwarves?
me: a female
Emma: a female dwarf
me: a female dwarf
Emma: thansk
Emma: Im going to self harm now
Emma: then kill the dwarf
me: that's understandable
me: actually there are two dwarven kids sort of going on with their lives in the midst of this barren fortress of death
me: and they're happy
Emma: thats poetic
Emma: like me an you
me: ah!
Emma: you said you lobved me
Emma: therefore Im going to etrapolate
Emma: etrapoltae
Emma: EXTRAPOLATE
me: hurrah~
Emma: that lo
Emma: l
Emma: shut UP
me: !
me: now for some coffee
me: when my dwarves all die
me: I can go into Legends mode
Emma: Im am therefore deducing from your proclamation of undying lovage that
Emma: oh never mind then
me: and see the entire history of the procedurally generated world
me: it's hard to explain
me: also
me: Mark Davis seems to have dug himself in deeper
Emma: is he a dwarf?
me: oh but also I can play as a single person and walk over to the abandoned fortress
me: sorry, that must have been confusing
me: Mark Davis is guy I wrote about for D MAg the other da
me: let me make some coffee real quick
Emma: ok
Emma: go
Emma: i have something to write
me: I pretty much just woke up and looked to see how many dwarves had died
Emma: and they all had
Emma: okay vis a vis the Mark Davis thing - being of English persuasion I don't know who these people are who you have fights with - they are not well known in England - not really known at all - so you're going to have to give me a run down of your biggest enemies/your nemesis-es (nemesi?) and the people you generally hate. Now youve gone offline.
Emma: Im going to make a cup of tea x