| Subject: Chat with Caleb Pritchard |
| From: Caleb Pritchard <cpritchard2001@gmail.com> |
2:42 PM Caleb: It was early in the Iraq war, Dec. 22, 2004, and it turned out that the shots came not from insurgents or criminals. They were fired by an American private security company named Custer Battles,
2:46 PM me: One of Custer's tribe
2:58 PM me: okay
headline
http://www.redstate.com/vassar/2010/10/20/christine-darc-why-her-election-is-so-important/
3:09 PM Caleb: I think that man is confused.
3:14 PM me: I'm sorry
I'm sorry
this is pretty much the last straw
3:15 PM go ahead and stock up what weapons you can and I'll get you a message from the Rockies once I've set up Alpha Base
3:17 PM Caleb: IF REPUBLICANS WIN IN NOVEMBER, I'M MOVING TO CANADA
me: no
fuck you
fuck you
here's what's up
I'm just sayong
I am going to launch a false flag operation
to make these people appear to have shot first
3:18 PM and then I'm launching the civil war
and I'm going to find the guy who made this
and while everyone is distracted
I'm going to find him and I'm going to knock him out with a syringe of opiates
then I'm going to take him out to the woods
I'm going to administer heroin to him for weeks
and then I'm going to stop
3:19 PM and then I'm going to put him in shack
and then I'm going to give him acid
and he'll sit there tied up with the roaches and whatnot
and I'm going to say, "You are going to die here, but not for a week or so until the thirst kills you."
along with the withdrawals
3:20 PM and the acid will help to make him really experience it
oh, and guess who's throat I'm going to slit right in front of him about a week into the withdrawals?
those of his children
3:21 PM Caleb: What if I told you this article is a false flag article?
me: M. NIGHT SHAMALAYN
3:24 PM Caleb: So, do a quick thought experiment.
Imagine what O'Donnell does after she loses.
3:25 PM me: she will come back more powerful than you can ever imagine
Caleb: She goes private.
Becomes a pundit.
3:26 PM me: she becomes a God
she becomes the God
the plan is perfect
it will work perfectly
we have already done it
Caleb: God is god.
3:27 PM me: let me check your math
4:01 PM Caleb: Apparently, your boyfriend will be at CPAC in February.
me: Vassar Bushmills?
check this out
Caleb: Do you have another boyfriend I don't know about?
me: this is his website
http://thesandsinstitute.org/
note the top right
4:02 PM also, it is the institute of the common man
it is for the good of the people
it is for the good of the common man who goes to work and doesn't have some fancy education
it is for the good of the common worker
4:03 PM Caleb: Looks like it was designed by a drunkard.
me: dude
John Murtha
4:04 PM Caleb: I don't know what any of this means.
me: dude
John Murtha
semper fu
fuck his dead marine corpse
Caleb: But apparently Bernard Chumm's take on "Submit or Die" is the hottest of hot topics.
4:05 PM me: this is a good headline
PROTECTORS OF THE CONSTITUTION, AS THE
CONSTITUTION SAW THEM
Caleb: Again, I have no idea what that means.
4:06 PM me: that sounds like elitist snark
YOU DONT KNOW MY GOD
4:07 PM Caleb: Looks like he's three or four Galoots-of-the-Month behind.
me: I've come to find that most things on Red State are more and more comparable to the disturbing poem you wrote about lefties when you were a poor 3rd grader
like, seriously
you basically anticipated a movement
4:08 PM AH, YES, THE LEFTIES
THE LEFTIES
THE LEFTIES AND THEIR LIES
Bermie Chumm made an historic visit to
South Boston just before the Massachusetts
election for the People's Seat.
it was historic
Caleb: Truly historic.
4:09 PM People are still talking about it.
me: Oh yeah? Not in the so-called MSM
4:10 PM incidentally, I've seen a rise in the use of the term "so-called" used in front of a disparaging term popularized by a member of the group that coined it
4:16 PM Caleb: I've had to delete it several times from scripts about the recent DADT nonsense.
4:19 PM me: lol
not at the new station?
Caleb: Yeah.
me: wow
4:20 PM the so-called H.R. Bill 9701-14
Caleb: It wasn't in there dismissively.
me: right
Caleb: Just unnecessarily.
me: I know, it's one of those things that people will put in automatically as dictated by like their lizard brain
http://progressiveboink.com/archive/robliefeld2.html
4:21 PM Caleb: You haven't seen that yet?
me: I know you've seen that
4:22 PM I look at it pretty much every day when I wake up
just that one in particular
WAKE UP, BABE. DUTY CALLS.
No promises.
Leave your number.
Caleb: Chapel, m'man.
4:24 PM me: I get what he's going for, he sits down at his drawing desk with his button-fly jeans and his backwards baseball cap, rubbing his chin and pondering what the new, hip comic book collector would like to read.
4:25 PM lol at Rob Liefeld clothing description
Caleb: He has on a backwards cap, and when he turns it around, it's still backwards.
4:26 PM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJhoa2SVGNA
me: " He uses the colloquial phrase "M'MAN" to show that sex with broads is no big d. "
4:27 PM The Youngblood communicator thing goes "eepBeep," a sound no-one has heard or capitalized in that fashion anywhere ever
jesus christ
4:28 PM She asks him for five more minutes of sleep, and he responds with NO PROMISES YOU KNOW THE WAY OUT. If she had said "ooh baby i'll be here when you get back" or "when can i see you again" it would've set her up as in awe of Chapel's manhood (which is what Rob's going for, I think), and the response would've shown Chapel as a hard womanizer who values his life as a soldier more than any woman he might take to bed. But she asks him for five minutes of sleep, so when he responds like that it makes him deaf, or some weird taskmaster of the alarm clock.
4:33 PM Caleb: "Check out Spider-Man swinging in on a jungle vine. Jesus Christ Liefeld drew a dog’s hindquarters on him. Just straight-up a dog’s ass and legs."
4:34 PM YOUNGBLOOD
DEATHSHOT
DEATHMATE RED
THIS BLOOD'S FOR YOU
4:39 PM me: oh jesus
look
at that captain america cover
4:41 PM " I think he just draws the face and then draws a big floppy squiggle on top with an arrow pointing to it that says “(hair)” and then the inker sighs and takes a pull of Southern Comfort and does his job as best he can."
4:42 PM Caleb: Hand?
Face?
4:43 PM me: I think everyone needs to realize that Rob Liefeld was THE MOST POPULAR COMIC BOOK ARTIST IN THE WORLD at the time. His comics sold millions of copies. He starred in a Levi’s commercial that was ABOUT HIM. AND THIS IS WHAT HIS ART LOOKED LIKE. HE MADE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FROM THIS YOU GUYS
4:44 PM Caleb: A fun Liefeld drinking game: take a shot for every pouch he draws on a character. Oh great, now you have alcohol poisoning.
4:48 PM me: “I think Cable should be holding a BIG gun on this cover.”
Well yeah he usually is.
“Pffffft, no, I mean a REALLY big gun.”
wait how big
“Well something like this”
/draws an artistic representation of excess
4:50 PM lolololol
Here’s a game to play: which one of those fingers is a thumb? Give up? So did Rob Liefeld!
4:52 PM oh my god they had a mini-series called "Darker Image"
4:53 PM Caleb: My brother had a copy.
4:59 PM me: I still remember Gibbs bringing Bloodworks or Forceworks or Youngblood YOUNGER DARKER PEOPLE ISSUE # NEGATIVE 0 to school and they were indeed jumping out of a plane over someone's base and saying things that started as kind of cool but kept going
basically on par with the hick in Independence Day who has to sacrifice himself to blow up the ship
5:00 PM "It's like when your friend decides he wants to write X-Files fan fiction, but instead of writing his own episodes of the X-Files they're all stories about Mulder and Scully hanging out with their new friend YOUR FRIEND. "
5:01 PM * here is a simple guide to creating your own Image Comics character
1 - take a pre-existing Marvel or DC Comics character that fat guys would like (The Punisher)
2 - change his name to couple a negatively connotative word (blood, die, death) with a second but completely unrelated negatively connotative word (shot, hard, blow)
3 - draw scribbles all over him
4 - do not make him engaging or interesting ever
Caleb: Bloodguyvandal
5:02 PM me: Child Fucker Who Gives Them AIDS Also, the greatest super hero for our time
Nitro barely pulled itself back into relevance after that
still made the August street launch though
5:03 PM "How many teeth are in a mouth? Like a billion, right? I’ll just draw a billion, all the same size and shape."
5:07 PM Caleb: Can you imagine how hard you would elbow your friend if you saw a dude with three ponytails? You would elbow the shit out of them.
me: It's a double whammy, here. Bedrock shouts not one, not two, but THREE catchphrases in one word bubble. One of them is YABBA-DABBA DOOM, which should have an entire wing of the Smithsonian devoted to its gayness.
5:09 PM jesus
I've never though to question Rob Liefeld's sexuality, what with all the anatomically incorrect women and all, but I have to question whatever it is that keeps him from drawing a man's area without making it look he's got a fucking snow shovel shoved down the front of his pants. Look at Rictor's enormous area, it's almost as wide as his waist. As I write more of these it gets harder for me to write anything but LOOK AT THAT and WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE GLOVES, WHY DOES EVERYONE ON THE TEAM WEAR SHORT SLEEVES AND GLOVES.