Subject: Chat with Catalina Saldaña
From: "Catalina Saldaña" <cat.salda@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

Catalina: hey
Catalina: when we moving to africa?
me: as soon as possible
me: I got a girl pregnant
Catalina: noooooo
Catalina: are you serious?
me: yep
Catalina: is she staying pregnant?
me: apparently so
Catalina: in NY?
me: Manhattan, yes
me: your area
Catalina: which one?
me: this half black half Jew chick
Catalina: oh, that one. which one was she?
Catalina: oh
Catalina: wow
Catalina: youd think after all you do your little guys wouldnt work
me: so, I've cancelled my Mexico expedition for now
me: no, they apparently work too well
Catalina: are you ok?
me: yeah, I don't care
me: I may be coming back up soon
Catalina: really?
me: if she has it, I'll do whatever I've got to do
me: she may have family money anyway
Catalina: you can stay home with the kid and send her out to work
Catalina: i can come and play with it
me: it's all very possible, I actually know very little about her
me: except that her mom gave us coke
me: and then we fucked without a condom
Catalina: bad granny!
Catalina: bad barrett!!!!
me: I know, right?
Catalina: well I shouldnt be judging
Catalina: but I was on the PILL!!!
Catalina: stupid pill
Catalina: maybe she was too
me: I don't think she was
me: anywho, Mirna is demanding I get a DNA test ASAP
me: to ensure it's mine
Catalina: good idea
me: but at any rate
Catalina: but why would she say its yours
me: I wouldn't mind getting back up there anyway
me: there's no good reason
Catalina: does she think youre moneyed
me: she knows I'm irresponsible and unmonied
me: she has more money than I
Catalina: monied
me: plus, being in Tyler has reminded me
me: that I hate all places
me: that aren't New York or Mexico
Catalina: well im dying to get out of here
Catalina: seriously
me: why, again?
Catalina: im not being flaky this time like i always am
me: if you want to go to Mexico I'm down
Catalina: i do
Catalina: because im tires of ny right now
Catalina: maybe we should wait till it starts to get cols
me: if you're serious, I'll have about $2,000 in a month or so
Catalina: that way it gives me time to save some money
me: we could go to Zihuatanejo
Catalina: like in october
Catalina: i need a break from here thats why
me: makes sense
Catalina: for sanity
Catalina: you taking care my my husband caleb?
me: yeah, I saved his cat from myself
Catalina: yeah that was funny
me: it sucked
me: I took 450 mil of some drug
Catalina: you can teach your little baby to play with those dwarfs
me: dxm
me: and then lost his cat
Catalina: how was dxm?
me: and then got text message telling me I''m a father\
me: hadn't done it since I was 16
Catalina: oh shit
Catalina: not yet youre not
me: hadn't tripped at all in 7 years
me: and this stuff is pretty strong
me: so it was wacky
Catalina: she told you in a text??!!!!
me: yes
me: yes, she did
Catalina: i at least had the decency to text carl to call me immediately from thailand
Catalina: in a text??
Catalina: thats craxy
Catalina: crazy
Catalina: i like craxy
me: yes, that'll do
Catalina: im feeling craxy right now
Catalina: i have not eaten in 4 days
Catalina: so im all lightheaded and silly
Catalina: all ive had is water and tea
Catalina: and some lemonade
me: maybe you should eat some food!
Catalina: i will tomorrow
Catalina: i was going to do it for 10 days but now i dont feel like it
me: why?
me: Catholic saint fast?
Catalina: yes
Catalina: honestly because i felt like i was catching the fatness
Catalina: but also i decided it would be a good detox
Catalina: and wanted to see if i was disciplined wnough to do it
Catalina: enough
Catalina: what i should have said is "no money for drugs, so i wanted to get that out of it feeling without spending the moneys"
Catalina: monies??
me: get some dxm
Catalina: i really cant think
Catalina: is that free?
me: $4
Catalina: where do i get it from
me: any drugstore
me: make sure to get just dextromorphanhydrobromide
Catalina: ok
me: with no other active ingredients
me: Ideally, liquid gel form
Catalina: i got a shitload of ambien from carl today
me: oh, just take that then
me: it's better
Catalina: i will, i just have to call my mother then its ambien time!
me: what ever shall you tell her?
Catalina: hola mami
Catalina: como estas?
me: speaking of which, I must hide my baby from my parents
Catalina: mmmhhh
Catalina: si
Catalina: mhm
Catalina: si
Catalina: no?
Catalina: en serio?
me: DONDE ESTA LA ZAPETERIA?
Catalina: besos, adios!
me: muy bien, gracias! y tu?
Catalina: except the mhm and si's will go on for about 45 minutes
Catalina: good
Catalina: maybe you can talk to her
me: yes
Catalina: should i give you her number?
me: that sounds like a fine idea
Catalina: you can pretend to be me
Catalina: unless you just want to call her to complain about me
me: THIS IS LITTLE GHOST GIRL CATALINA I STAND ON THE HIGHWAY
me: PEOPLE PICK ME UP
me: I ASK FOR A RIDE
me: AND THEN I DISAPPEAR
me: I DIED 30 YEARS AGO TONIGHT
Catalina: i wish!
Catalina: i so totally wish
me: that would be the life
me: so to speak
Catalina: yeah
Catalina: ok im gonna go call her now
Catalina: im also going to think of baby names
Catalina: ill talk to you later
me: word