me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5XFH36UdQ4 BushwickBK.com: omg BushwickBK.com: this is the absolute most awward thing I have seen in, I dunno, days BushwickBK.com: ok I can't finish BushwickBK.com: but now I want a cannoli, great BushwickBK.com: toobad there aren't any edible ones in Bushwick me: I stole two packages of Italian sausage last night from God knows where BushwickBK.com: I take it back, circo's is edible, but barely me: some yuppie store, I think BushwickBK.com: you must have had a big jacket on me: hadn't stolen anything in a decade BushwickBK.com: why;d you feel liek stealing those? me: well, it was those little links BushwickBK.com: whcihs tore BushwickBK.com: I mean where me: I have no idea, was really drunk, left some girl's place at Bedford me: 245 Bedford, according to package BushwickBK.com: haha me: Khim's Millenium Market BushwickBK.com: oh fyck them BushwickBK.com: they once tried to sell me a watermelon for $30 me: anyway, just cooked up a bunch of them in a frying pan with some French toast me: was pretty awesome BushwickBK.com: I like wealth transfers from statists to anti-statists me: think I might throw the rest in with some pasta me: yeah me: I should admit, though BushwickBK.com: it's consistent with their philosophy, so no harm done me: that I'm simply a criminal anyway and the only reason I don't normally steal is because I consider it unseemly me: and impolite BushwickBK.com: then you're way ahead of most criminals me: also, there's really not much I want me: except for those sausages BushwickBK.com: there's not much I want worth getting caught stealing me: well, it might be good publicity if I was caught BushwickBK.com: I'd steal in a second if I could get away with it easily BushwickBK.com: hah for whom me: both me and the store BushwickBK.com: you're a born promoter me: I'd be like, "Yeah, society has failed to properly reward my talents and I must steal sausage to survive, clearly a great re-shifting of paradigms is needed" me: of course I'd be lying BushwickBK.com: haha BushwickBK.com: that would get you into gawker in a second BushwickBK.com: bushwick-hipster-stealing organic sausages-system manifesto UES GAWKER BIMBO HEAD EXPLODE me: the truth would be, "I blew my book advance on heroin and am now slightly inconvenienced due to my own faults, had plenty of food but wanted this particular sort of food as well but the rest of my money had gone to cigarettes and also I am of Irish blood" BushwickBK.com: LOL me: not much of an indictment of capitalism, really me: so much as it is a confirmation of what the English thought of the Irish BushwickBK.com: your inferior papist will leads you to steal me: lol BushwickBK.com: this is why God appointed English landlords to care for his Irish children me: Papism only leads to inflation, corruption, not outright theft me: lol me: that's the best argument for god's existence ever me: his Irish children me: lol me: oh, the rape article is up me: http://www.nypress.com/article-21228-slow-your-role.html BushwickBK.com: looks just like both of you me: yes, except she's Asian me: guy kind of over-edited my version BushwickBK.com: I'm bored halfway through hers BushwickBK.com: maybe because i already knwo what hapened BushwickBK.com: but also she just writes liek she's writing porn BushwickBK.com: which I find boring me: yeah, me too, and it's even about me me: exactly me: they wanted me to put in more sexual language on my edit me: I don't really write about sex me: I can't write "I was fucking her from behind" without a great struggle