Hi Adam I added my updates in red - please review. Waiting for B. to revise his end. Thanks!Click to open:
HED: Slow Your Role
DEK: What ever happened to dinner and a movie? An anonymous New York couples first-date tale of vodka and make-believe date rape
I find the idea of any sort of conventional concurrent-to-coitus conversation to be kind of unseemly, like stealing a magazine from an airport gift shop or dancing when you're straight and male. Gays can dance and steal all the magazines they want for all I care; I believe that their persecution entitles them to certain liberties above those afforded the rest of us. I guess what I'm trying to say is that a girl prompted me to pretend-rape her on our first date, and I did so. Insomuch as that I was once asked to talk dirty to some other girl but could think of nothing non-sarcastic to say, this was a big step.
The date was going well even before it started going memorably, which is bizarre, as I gave off every warning signal as to my failures as a person, like having to share a coffee mug of vodka with the girl because I'd accidentally broken all the glasses in the apartment, one by one. At some point I actually made her look at this game I was playing, called Dwarf Fortress, in which I pretend that I am some large number of dwarves, all living together in a fortress. Eventually she relented and we had sex, which was probably for the best.
At one point I was fucking her from behind, as is my custom, and the girl asked, "Are you going to rape me?" WOULDNT YOU BE HORRIFIED OR AT LEAST SURPRISED HERE? Well, who am to refuse to pretend to rape a girl? I used to pretend to kill my friends all the time as a kid. I still pretend to kill things, or rather my dwarves do. With that in mind, or perhaps something else, I held down her arms and proceeded to "rape" her. This consisted of me engaging the girl in continued sexual intercourse, with her occasionally struggling to escape but not so diligently as to complicate our couplinga good thing, as I'm a heavy smoker and don't really exercise during winter. It would have been pretty impolite for her to overcome my wanted advances.
And politeness is important to me, which is why I've never been inclined to even fantasize about coercive behavior, which I consider to be even more unseemly than magazine theft. Having said that, simulating rapepoor as our dual performance would have seemed to the critical eye of any drama coach who might have been watching through the windowwas fun and interesting without causing anyone any distress, which is a fine thing for a sex act to be. Well, perhaps the reader is upset, in which case I will remind him or her that I did a terrible job of pretend-raping the girl in question. ADD MORE HERE ABOUT HOW IT LEFT YOU FEELING, THE SECOND TIME (SO YOU MUSTNT HAVE HATED IT!), ETC.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't role-play on the first date. I'm more scintillating than needing a Catholic schoolgirl uniform or a corset to arouse a man's interest. If you've got to bust out costumes and safe words before knowing each other's stance on how a roll of toilet paper should be hung, you should seriously reevaluate your life. But there was something appealingly wholesome about him, so all-Americanhe was
cowboy boots, medium-rare bacon cheeseburgers and Monday night footballthat I just couldn't resist. It was never a conscious decision on my part to play rape with him, nor was it pre-planned the second time when I feigned sleep as he took me from behind. We started out as most average folks would on a first date: sitting beside each other on a couch, sharing a mug of cheap vodka mixed with moderately priced juice and talking. Within minutes, we were kissing and his hand was tangled in the demilitarized zone between my breast and bra.
I suggested that we move to the bedroom, not particularly comfortable crumpled between the cracked vinyl couch and a medium sized dog that was intent on joining our coupling. In that tiny room, made even more claustrophobic by hand-drawn illustrations pasted over the windows, I let my date jam his condom-clad cock into me. He had me pressed against the bed with me on my stomach, and I, in a fit of inspiration, turned to him and asked in the most husky voice I could muster, "Are you going to rape me?" This is not a logical question to ask someone who is already fucking you with your consent, but it served to effectively establish the mood. His reaction was to fuck me harder, faster, as I bucked pseudo-helplessly beneath him, attempting to free myself, but ultimately allowing him deeper penetration.
CAN YOU TALK ABOUT WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO DO THIS? OF ALL THE ROLE PLAY YOU HAD PREVIOUSLY ENGAGED IN, HAD ANY BEEN LIKE THIS? WERE YOU JUST BORED AND TRYING TO SPICE THINGS UP?
I'd never played rape on a first date and this was thrilling - and gauging by his response, it appeared that he was enjoying it as well. Ladies like me, we like to leave a good first date impression, even if we have to take on the role of debased and abject.
Round two was a few hours later, after I had dozed off, fully dressed. I woke up to find him sweetly spooning me and I reached behind to grab his cock. It was hard. I was wet. He leaped from the bed to retrieve another condom while I feigned sleep, curled on my side. Again, from behind, I felt him pressing into me, his hands roaming beneath my clothing before finding my erect nipples to pinch. Quietly I moaned, but kept my body still, allowing him access.
"Should I take my dress off?" I whispered.
"No, keep it on. It maintains the illusion," he replied, thrusting into me. I closed my eyes again and pretended to sleep.
For a first date, I would consider this a rousing success. I've been on dinner dates where I wouldn't even blow the guys who insisted on paying. All he'd done was pour me a drink and I'd let him do whatever he wanted to me. I felt like a whore, andguess whatI liked it.
I WANT A LITTLE BIO AT THE END, LIKE THIS ANONYMOUS COUPLE IS STILL HAPPILY DATING AND INDULGING IN FANTASIES ACROSS BROOKLYN AND LOWER MANHATTAN OR WHATEVER.
My suggestion: "Imogene Lee and her mystery man are still happily fucking on either side of the Williamsburg Bridge, and very much with each other's consent."
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