Selena: so was your night EPIC me: it was nifty Selena: oh do tell Selena: wild drunken orgy? me: we hung out at Josh's, went to dinner, went to a bar, went back to Josh's, I went home me: nah Selena: where did you have dinner? me: buzzed ordgy me: the only good restaurant in Bushwick me: Tiki something-or-other Selena: roberta's? me: nah, this steak place Selena: not familiar w/ this place Selena: but OK me: run by a crackhead Selena: literally? me: yeah Selena: chefs are notoriously crazy me: I know Selena: hence why i dated so many me: have lived with a couple Selena: how do you know this guy is a crackhead me: one of my useless roommates worked for him me: plus I've covered the place Selena: well. i hope the food was at least good. me: it was, only reason I took them Selena: and what are you doing this saturday evening me: got no plans at all me: you? Selena: being a fat lazy fuck me: staying in? Selena: probably. i have a haircut tomorrow? i am like a sheep dog right now and can't see a goddamn thing. Selena: part of me wants to get rip roaring wasted and do something stupid but there's nothing stupid for me to do. me: I see. Let me know if you want me to come over. I'm something stupid for you to do. Selena: you're surely not anything stupid Selena: and if i were not still bleeding from the vagina i would have you here and inside me in seconds me: in some way Selena: though i could use some making out Selena: i would really like to make out with you right now Selena: christ what am i, 15 years old me: should I come over then? Selena: i have to shower, i'm fucking disgusting Selena: and this heartburn developed suddenly Selena: i'm waiting for these tums to kick in. god i'm falling apart this week Selena: dog bites me, heartburn, torrential menstrual cycle me: should I wait till tomorrow or later? Selena: there's blood on the walls me: lol Selena: (i'm not kidding about blood ont he walls :( ) me: i see Selena: how about tomorrow? post hair cut. me: you've got a good memory me: sure Selena: what memory?! Selena: what are you referencing me: nothing, just you had the haircut thing all marked down and ready me: never you mind Selena: well ***I*** also need a haircut Selena: and i made an appointment Selena: i was supposed to go earlier today but i rescheduled bc i am weird like that Selena: MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO WITH ME Selena: AND THEN WOW, get this! Selena: YOU TOO CAN BE SHORN me: very well Selena: the appointment's at 2pm Selena: would you even be awake then. ha ha haaaaa me: there's a chance me: yes, I'll be up, though Selena: it's at that ridiculous place on havemeyer Selena: that doubles as a tattoo parlor ha ha Selena: this is only because justin is there and i like him, he's a fabulous gay who is great with my hair. me: goblins took over the peak of the mountain I'm on and now they're killing all the dwarves who try to migrate to my fortress Selena: hmmm Selena: that's not promising, is it Selena: can't you build a bomb or something Selena: can goblins be bombed me: in real life, yes Selena: are goblins just ghosts with a gorier name me: but in DWARF FORTRESS LAND I have to figure out other, more clever ways to kill them from inside my little bunker Selena: hmmm Selena: reverse troan horse me: huh me: well Selena: trojan motherfucker me: something like that might be possible Selena: i wish i could say i read the art of war Selena: alas i am just slightly clever me: hooray! Selena: did you kill them. me: no, gonna take a long time me: there are twenty of them or more me: about twenty of my guys me: almost none of whom are trained fighters Selena: you do realize i'm feigning any interest in this development right? me: but eventually a trading caravan will come by and they'll fight and then I'll declare victory me: yes Selena: like when i talk about poker i'm sure your eyes will similarly glaze over Selena: and you will just ask random, open ended questions to sound as if you care. me: I'll just ignore you Selena: oh even better. Selena: well as long as you put your hand up my skirt i guess i won't care.