Subject: Chat with Selena Leong
From: Selena Leong <selenaleong@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

Selena: i think i'm dying
me: how so?
Selena: the amount of blood pouring out of me is alarming
me: I see
me: is it that bad?
Selena: i've never really been a "heavy flow" girl
Selena: so this is scary
me: maybe you should get checked out?
Selena: it's not GOOD
Selena: nah i will live
Selena: i am just whining
Selena: i am also still at home, taking a half day
Selena: how's couch surfing in an empty apartment
me: pretty sweet, finally finished that fucking column
me: gonna go to sleep in a little while
Selena: excellent
me: next up, First Date Rape
Selena: ha ha
Selena: i just sent my part in
Selena: it's as good as it can possibly be for 500 shitty words
me: sweet, I hope it's full of twist ending and surprises
me: better yet, I hope it's erotic
Selena: you're CC'd on it stupid
Selena: read it
me: I'm opening it now
Selena: hahah i'll await your response
me: very nice
me: makes me look good, too
Selena: ha ha does it?
me: which is the sign of a great article
Selena: hahaha yeah of course i am here to bolster your image
me: thanks!
Selena: that was sarcasm you dingus
me: REALLY?Q?Q?
Selena: i'm going to clobber you
me: what are you, The Thing?
Selena: actually, yes.