| Subject: Chat with Selena Leong |
| From: Selena Leong <selenaleong@gmail.com> |
6:21 PM me: yeah, I'll write my soon
also, it does seem to be raining a bit now
6:22 PM Selena: yes, it is apparently pouring here.
i am sitting here rePDFing boards, which is a thankless, annoying task bc my computer appears to only have one hamster in it to run the wheel
6:47 PM Selena: alright. i am leaving.
6:48 PM i'll text you when i get home?
6:49 PM me: word
7:27 PM Selena: i'm home
7:35 PM me: word up
7:36 PM Selena: i feel like garbage
me: should I come some other time, then?
Selena: i think today would be bad for company, between the torrential downpour of blood
me: okay, maybe tomorrow evening
Selena: raining from between my thighs
hahahah yes perhaps
me: yes, that sounds horrid
Selena: do you ever like, do something like go out to eat.
me: sure
7:37 PM like I said, gotta do some reviews of places on Grand
Selena: really.
well where do you need to go?
me: so we can go do that
anywhere
Selena: ANYWHERE?
on grand?
me: no assigned places
or that general area, I guess
that's what he asked for
Selena: grand and what
me: wants five of them
doesn't matter
Selena: well i usually go to a bunch of places here.
me: closer to Bushwick the better
Selena: hmmm i don't go to BUSHWICK
but.
i could be convinced
7:38 PM me: actually, going to ask him about various neighborhoods and see what our options are in terms of where to go
Selena: OK
i shall await further instruction
7:43 PM the constraint of 500 words sucks
7:49 PM me: yeah, it's tough to condense stuff
but it's good practice, too
Selena: yeah i'm seriously editing the shit out of it
7:50 PM me: you can also ask for a little more wordage
I do sometimes, they're generally up for it
Selena: the whole column is 1K words
me: 600 should be fine
Selena: so that's why we're getting a split
yeah i think 600 would be OK
me: I'll stick with 500
Selena: i'm only at 300
me: I did my first video blog today
Selena: oh let's see it
me: going to start doing a bunch of them
Selena: link plz
me: well, it's not up yey
Selena: get a haircut you fucker
7:51 PM me: and I'm going to redo it to make it shorter
I am
on Friday, maybe
going to do my headshot for Post on Monday
Selena: remember: i am not your mother
you don't need to lie to me
me: my old friend Elizabeth Ellis is coming into town Friday
gonna take her with me/have her make me go
Selena: haha good
me: kind of a touristy thing
Selena: i hope she makes sure you don't get a tight fade
7:52 PM me: I'll have her hang out with us
Selena: oh i'm sure she'll LOVE that
me: you should meet some of my friends anyway, you'll like them
Selena: OK
you can meet my friends, they will hate you.
me: they're very good company
why's that?
Selena: hahaha they hate everyone
me: because I'm a convicted rapist?
I see
Selena: HAHAHAHA YES
my friends hate me.
me: hmmm
I bet I can make a good impression
7:53 PM when I try, I can be charming
7:54 PM Selena: man you are really duking it out w/ this dude on my blog
7:55 PM me: yeah
I like to procrastinate
7:56 PM Selena: clearly
me: I hope he stops responding, otherwise I'm going to keep feeling prompted to refute him
Selena: i am writing an entry about this fucking asshole who could have broken my heart.
and i am mad at myself for caring
so fuck it
not finishing it
he can go die in a fire
me: doesn't matter since my name isn't used, but I just can't stand irrational or dishonest writing
Selena: i don't think he's dishonest but he's certainly making unfair assumptions
7:57 PM though it is probably my fault since i left out stuff
7:58 PM me: well, you put in enough such that most everyone else came to a reasonable conclusion
and thought he's not thinking to himself, "AHA I'M GOING TO BE DISHONEST"
...
7:59 PM he's definitely not checking to see if he's automatically engaging in dishonest begavior
that's almost always the case with people who are engaged in an argument
and aren't of an especially honest nature
8:00 PM and for some reason that dynamic really infuriates me
Selena: i think he's just convinced you're a dick
me: more than does pretty much anything else
Selena: i really hope i didn't portray you in a dick-ish light
it's hard for me to gauge
esp if i do things unintentionally
8:05 PM me: so
the movers are here
and one of them says he gets a great hook-up from Miami for triple-stacked E
Selena: hahahaha oh god
me: with actual MDMA instead of crap
so, I haven't done that in years and years
but was thinking
Selena: don't look at me
me: if I buy a couple
8:06 PM we could take them, fuck, and write about it
Selena: i haven't touched that shit in years
me: me neither, but fuck it
Selena: i would rather do like eight lines of blow
me: but good E is much better
Selena: yeah but i don't trust that shit
for the most part
me: plus, I don't have any good power hook ups
Selena: i don't want to commit 10 hours of my life
to a drug induced feeling
me: it would be for science
8:07 PM anyway, I'm going to get a couple when gets some
Selena: HAHAHAHAHA
i could be convinced
but doubtful
me: you can think about it
Selena: i will think about it
me: I'm pretty persuasive
also
Selena: i'm not surprised
me: I think it's a damn good idea for a lot of reasons
8:08 PM for one thing, the therapeutic effects are universally acknowledged by psychologists
Selena: yeah well the comedown SUCKS SO HARD
me: depends
not terrible
weed helps
so does alcohol
Selena: well i accidentally did 1.5 hits on NYE
instead of 1
and it hit soooo hard
8:09 PM this was like seven years ago
me: we used to spend next day laying around and watching simpsons
anyway, one reason I want to do it is help me think through my past addiction issues
as I know it's very good for that
Selena: OK
me: sort of like ibogaine, which junkies use to get off and address their issues
Selena: well. let's work through this when you actually are in possession of said product
8:10 PM me: word
I've got more convincing, but will save it for later
Selena: i'm pragmatic, remember
hahahah
yeah we'll deal w/ it when it's actually an issue
8:15 PM me: man, I've got tons of space all of a sudden
Selena: that's nice
me: got a nice empty apartment with just a couch for next ten days
Selena: that sounds depressing
8:16 PM me: then going to stay with Josh and John, perhaps Catalina for a couple days, eventually my buddy Mel who owes me a lot of free living space
probably do this for up to two months, then get a place
Selena: OK.
8:18 PM me: I'll buy everyone groceries, liquor, etc; at any rate, I used to do this a lot since I was moving in and out of town quite a bit years back
8:19 PM Selena: alright then.
8:20 PM me: actually lived on Josh's couch for about six months once
Selena: i can't imagine living on a couch.
8:22 PM me: it's wonderful
I hate to be bothered by practicalities and responsibilities
Selena: ah yes, OK peter pan
me: they totally screw with my work
I need to be entirely focused on the media theory I'm putting together
8:23 PM have had a total change in mentality over the past six months
Selena: well i am sure quitting your shitty habit helps
8:24 PM me: started figuring out things that had alluded me, and have been in the process of putting together a comprehensive collection of essays describing what I'm setting out to do, why it's viable, and why others should join me
will probably go ahead and go for a book deal with another, larger publisher this summer
8:25 PM anyway, the point is
that I much prefer being technically homeless
or even paying way more than I should to live with someone, as I did with Mirna
8:26 PM paid $500 a month to live on a shitty couch
which is fine with me
as she handled all the details
8:35 PM Selena: how much can you afford a month
8:37 PM me: not a whole lot
my income varies
Selena: yeah i figured as such
8:38 PM me: prefer to keep it under $600
much prefer to keep it at $500 or even $400
I'm now making more money than I usually do
and about to make even more than that
but I hate overhead
Selena: right
8:39 PM me: and as you can imagine, I'm very adverse to living beyond my means in terms of real estate, having watched a fortune disappear
Selena: yes i understand
me: this is awesome
place is mostly empty
8:43 PM would you potentially be down for a threesome with me and another girl?
Selena: christ
me: that's a guy
8:44 PM Selena: what.
me: Jesus Christ is not a girl
HA HA HA I'M A CARD
anyway
Selena: don't ask me shit like that.
8:45 PM me: sorry, I didn't think you would be put off by the question or I wouldn't have asked it.
8:46 PM Selena: it kind of bums me out when people ask that.
8:49 PM me: okay, I apologize, will be more careful in the future
8:50 PM Selena: thank you.
i just get weird about stuff like that
i don't like being seen as a just add water component to some male sexual fantasy
me: I clearly don't see you like that
8:51 PM Selena: i know that
but it still bothers me
i think 3somes should be organic
me: I agree
8:52 PM I was just asking in general
9:01 PM Selena: hahah you don't even have a 3rd partner in mind?
9:12 PM me: Just to be clear, I don't view you as someone who's just useful as a component in sexual fantasies, so if I mention to you some sexual possibility, it's no different than you proposing some possibility to me, like our little games Friday night. So try not to get mad or irritated or whatever if I ask you a question like that
as for third girls, I've got a couple in mind
9:13 PM though I don't think either are necessarily viable possibilities
Selena: i'm not mad, darling.
me: gotcha
Selena: i just think it's a little premature
me: well, it's hard to asses timeliness in this relationship of ours
Selena: true
me: we went from me kissing you on the cheek to simulated rape in a couple hours
9:14 PM and then immediately on to writing projects
Selena: we are a strange little car traveling
me: I mean, we're doing our first column together, like, what, four days after we met?
Selena: hahaha yeah
that part makes me happy :)
me: we've certainly hit it off
9:15 PM I don't recall things ever having gone so pleasantly so quickly in any previous relationship
9:16 PM Selena: i do believe we have a very good rapport.
me: anywho, Catalina had been somewhat interested in a threesome and the girl I dated two girlfriends ago, and so did the girlfriend, but that was the one who turned out to be crazy
I'll never date a white girl again, probably
9:17 PM Selena: i'll admit, i'm apprehensive
so soon in the game
esp w/ some girl you've been fucking regularly
me: incidentally, Catalina is a good friend of mine, our sexual relationship is sporadic and friendly
haven't touched her other than to massage her back in months
9:18 PM Selena: it's still intimidating
me: think we've hooked up four or five times in the last two years
Selena: that's not a lot.
OK. i thought it was like...a constant thing
9:19 PM me: nah, as I said, we're just friends. She was best friends with the girl I was involved with who died of a heroin overdose five years back
9:20 PM she was good friends with my buddy/former roommate Caleb, who was also close to the girl, we're all sort of especially close due to that
anyway
she's not a threat to you
you'd like her
Selena: alright
9:21 PM me: it's the same thing as when she or most other girls mess around with one of their female friends
Selena: i was just being honest.
me: not a romantic thing
Selena: "just sex"
9:22 PM me: that's good, I am too, want to make sure we're communicating as much as possible. I like you a lot and want to make sure that everything goes smoothy.
or smoothly; smoothy works too, I guess
Selena: i appreciate your full disclosure
also as i feel you are smart/confident it is OK to tell you what i am thinking
even if it might be "sticky"
me: like a smoothy, gotcha
gonna get some tobacco, brb
9:25 PM Selena: OK.
9:37 PM me: anywho, just to wrap up that discussion, I'd be more inclined to find some other girl we don't know socially if we were to engage in a threesome out of sheer wantonness, just to cut down on potential negative fallout
Selena: you're overthinking this again, hon
9:38 PM me: I've been in situations in which I was with a couple of girls and we were all fond of each other and threesomes were a wonderful thing, but those are rare
okay
thus concludes our conversation about threesomes, then
Selena: why don't we actually enjoy each other first.
me: I agree
9:39 PM Selena: right on.
i feel better now
i am also pretty drunk.
me: was simply speculating about future
Selena: well we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
me: which is to say, I hope you and I last for quite a while
Selena: as do i
i think you're kind of awesome.
me: I think you're pretty awesome, too, sweetheart
9:40 PM Selena: well then
me: we're pretty damned compatible
Selena: intellectually yes
me: due to our interlocking awesomeness
not otherwise?
Selena: i think the rest will take time to determine!
i was wasted
me: you should let me know what you don't like about me as such things arise
9:41 PM Selena: you're a dude
me: some things I can't or won't change, but some things I'm willing to work on if necessary
Selena: i'm not going to tell you what to change
i'm not one of those girls
you are who you are
i accept you or i don't
i didn't buy a house w/ an intention to fix it up
9:42 PM me: even though that last girl and I really weren't all that right for each other and I'm happy it ended so that I met you, the whole thing has prompted me to be more mindful of other people; I'm trying to be slightly less self-centered (in the literal sense), more expressive to girls
9:43 PM Selena: well to be honest you are pretty arrogant
and self centered
but i'm OK w/ that
me: yeah
good
because that's hard to change
Selena: i mean as long as you are able to see another person's perspective
bc i think that's where most fights occur
i am extremely empathetic
9:44 PM me: I can, despite my self-centeredness, I'm very empathetic and observant
ha
Selena: OK
then we should be alright
me: plus I've been fortunate enough to learn a lot about females in particular by virtue of long proximity
Selena: your mother?
me: to a large extent, yes
9:45 PM also lived with grandmother for a while
Selena: good. it sounds like yr mother was smart
me: and have had lots of female friends since middle school
Selena: and had a head on her shoudlers when raising you
9:47 PM me: yeah, mostly
she's very noble
wrong about lots of shit, but noble
9:49 PM ah, my black gangsta felon friend just called, I told him a hilarious black joke I just heard
probably the most hilarious of all racist jokes ever made
and I'm an authority on jokes, you see
9:50 PM Selena: racist jokes piss me off!
i am a humorless harpy
9:51 PM me: yeah, I can understand why some people would be put off by them; most people I hang around don't care
I forget that not everyone agrees
9:58 PM Selena: yes well i try to be humorous
10:04 PM me: now I've got to convince a bunch of people that the FSB, KGB's successor, perpetrated a half-dozen terrorist attacks against Russia itself and blamed them on Chechen separatists
at least one fellow has actually agreed to debate me
of course, he's not a conservative, or he'd never agree to do so
10:05 PM he's still going to lose, though, as although he's Russian, he hasn't spent nearly enough time looking into this
and he suffers from some logical disparities in terms of his overall world view