Subject: Chat with Selena Leong
From: Selena Leong <selenaleong@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

me: holy shit
me: my dwarves are fucked up
Selena: your dwarves are going to die
Selena: i have sent a plague
me: I WILL HAVE TO PUNISH YOU MY LADY FORSOOTH FOR I AM YOUR MASTER HURRRRRR HURRRRRRRRRRR DURRRRRRRR
Selena: owww you fucker
Selena: you KNOW i can't laugh
me: you're hot
me: I know you don't like that term, but not sure how to replace it
Selena: agh really?
Selena: me?
Selena: man i am writing a scathing response to the old dude
Selena: who is pissed at me.
Selena: basically he said "if you don't like me, don't respond"
me: okay
me: ignore him, he's a crazy old man
Selena: i'm not going to ignore him
Selena: because you can't say that shit to someone, "i want this my way, you either do it or don't respond"
Selena: and you know what, as a woman i am NOT going to take that, fuck you for thinking i'm going to shut up and sit down
me: why would you want to interact with a person like that?
Selena: because i am telling him off
Selena: and maybe you've rubbed off on me
Selena: normally i would just delete it and roll my eyes
Selena: (also i have my period today)
Selena: so i am just like YEAH YOU THINK SO? FUCK YOU. but much more articulate
me: I see
me: gonna get coffee
Selena: bah
me: sweeeet
me: went for a nice little walk in the sunshine with the dog
me: then I get back
Selena: awwww
Selena: stupid fucking elvis
Selena: you should punt him down the block
me: and there's a GOBLIN AMBUSH ON MY TRADING POST
me: can you imagine?
Selena: OMG R U OK
me: PROBABLY
Selena: WILL U LIVE
Selena: ZOMG
me: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
Selena: :D
me: anyway, my fortress is going to go into North Korea mode now
me: we have great potential threats
me: and few friends
me: total militarized fascist lockdown
Selena: hahahhaha
Selena: you will look great in khaki jump suits
Selena: ugh i got such a whiny baby reply
Selena: what should i say!
me: let me talk to him
me: all my little dwarf fortress comrades on reddit liked my poem
Selena: hahahahah
Selena: i'm glad to hear that
Selena: man i am so angry right now
Selena: i HOPE he read my blog
Selena: like realizes that the paunchy old dude is referencing HIM
me: send him a link
Selena: he READ the article
Selena: he MUST have read the fucking blog
Selena: i had told him i had a sex blog but i wouldn't let him read it
Selena: so i think he did
Selena: and now he's all mad bc i fucked everyone but not him
Selena: and he took me out to expensive restaurants. HA HA HA?
Selena: so he wrote this (an excerpt)
Selena: Don't expect me to enjoy the fact that you're
> depicting
> yourself as this wanton slut when you rejected me without a
> thought.
> I'm fucking human, ya know?

Selena: so i wrote back:
Selena: yeah, sluts should fuck anyone who wants to fuck them. you know, no sense of empowerment or anything, just vessels for your patriarchal pleasure. how dare i not fuck you simply because you wanted to fuck me?
Selena: was that uncalled for, am i being a feminist twat
me: you're hitting with a club rather than slicing with a knife
me: my goal is generally to hurt someone emotionally in such a way that they suffer
me: if that's your goal, you're doing it wrong
Selena: hahahaha
Selena: i'm not trying to hurt him