Subject: Chat with Joshua Hawkins
From: Joshua Hawkins <josh.r.hawk@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

me: so, the Asian girl and I have been assigned an article for NY Press about our pretend rape
me: with one 500 word piece by her, one by me
Joshua: sounds fascinating
Joshua: tell me more
Joshua: how are your dwarves
Joshua: ROAD TRIP!!
Joshua: lol
Joshua: lol
me: dwarves are doing well
me: I had my little military squad kill one of the humans that came to trade
me: they beat him up and knocked him into a pond where he drowned
Joshua: awesome
me: now they'll be sending human military squads to attack me
me: humans to fight
me: will be totally awesome
me: because it takes a while for goblins to start attacking
Joshua: how diplomatic of you
me: I'm very excited
me: oh, also, New York Post e-mailed me again about doing that dating thing
Joshua: when will that take place?
me: I don't know, soon though