Subject: Chat with Selena Leong
From: Selena Leong <selenaleong@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

Selena: so my face is a serious disaster. i think i am going to stay in and hide for another day until the swelling does down. it's like i have a flesh colored football stuck to my lip
Selena: BUT. that does not mean i don't want to see you. i would like to see you like, as soon as i able to open my mouth to form a coherent sentence that doesn't sound like a slurred mess.
me: word
Selena: also, if i wanted to kiss you, i couldn't
me: just let me know when you no longer have a hole in your mout
Selena: and that kind of sucks
Selena: hahahaha OK. so what are you doing at your friend's place? writing?
me: writing my skeptical inquirer column and playing dwarf fortress
Selena: hahahha pls don't make me laugh
Selena: it hurts so bad
me: also just watched this surprisingly hilarious ICP video parody that SNL did
Selena: i vaguely remember that game w/ the shitty graphics.
Selena: that was not funny
Selena: most of last night's ep wasn't v funny
Selena: the only thing i ever like are those terrible 80's sporting events w/ the feminine hygiene product double entendres
me: I just watched that one clip
Selena: i guess if i knew more about the ICP creationist video it'd be more funny
Selena: but i avoid juggalo culture
me: I'm sorry, that was funny, and usually I'm really adverse to most of what SNL does
me: I didn't see the video either
me: but it was just an amusing parody of stupid ICP
me: it's a fine thing that none of that exists in New York
me: I had to deal with those people on occasion on outskirts of Dallas
Selena: wait. so you actually interacted with people who think it's acceptable to smear corpse paint onto their faces on a daily basis
Selena: and drink some off brand soda?
Selena: THAT IS THEIR CULTURE
me: some girl I knew bought weed from them
Selena: also, being fat is like, key
me: yeah, they're basically the worst thing one can be
me: also, somebody left the most disingenuous series of comments ever on my most recent true.slant article
me: libeling richard dawkins
Selena: what!
Selena: send me the link
me: it's the most insane thing I've ever seen, and I've seen some insane shit
Selena: also, YES THAT IS A THREAT, thanks for the fucking comment on my blog.
me: http://trueslant.com/barrettbrown/2010/04/15/huckabee-libels-a-young-student-journalist-who-beats-him/#comments
me: no problem
me: I liked that one from the random anonymous weirdo who wrote, "Your wish, my lady, is my dream, oh, how to make it happen, forsooth!"
me: or what have you
Selena: hahahhaha again don't make me laugh
Selena: it really hurts
Selena: those comments are better than the shit i have on my fake dating profiles
Selena: where it's really just an ad to direct people to read the blog
Selena: "watz gud wif u gurl wanna get frky wit me"
Selena: hahah i like your point about the polygamy
Selena: sorry i'm reading it slowly
Selena: i am not really uh, political so i have to take my time, reading comprehension 101, you know how it goes when you are steeped in fashion and food.
me: I can imagine
me: I used to write about food almost exclusively
me: from 18-22 or so
Selena: are you trying to butter me up, pun totally intended.
Selena: so who is this person writing these opuses on your comments section
me: no idea
Selena: are you going to spend the majority of your weekend typing furious, well-thought out yet strongly worded responses? hahah
me: nah, that's last time I'm responding to that guy, he's a fucking disingenuous, ignoble person
Selena: well. i'll be honest, that whole exchange was above my understanding since i don't know the key points you're debating. can you break it down for me?
me: doesn't matter, I had just written an article calling Mike Huckabee dishonest, this guy tried to paint Dawkins as having been dishonest, somehow, by pointing out that newspaper headlines were wrong to claim he said he'd personally arrest the pope
me: this douchebag is saying that it is only a "detail" whether or not Dawkins said he would personally arrest pope, as he's in favor of the pope being arrested
Selena: why would anyone want to arrest the pope. or is this hyperbole
me: I'm pointing out that this is not a detail at all, and is in fact extraordinarily significant and that Dawkins is right to correct everyone who's claiming that he said he'd go out and put handcuffs on the pope himself
me: because it's been discovered that he knowingly helped priests who had molested dozens of children move to another diocese where they be around more children
me: instead of, say, not doing that
me: and that a lot else of what he did constitutes crimes
me: to say nothing of it being extraordinarily unethical
me: the Catholic Church is a fucking monstrosity
Selena: well i have managed to blissfully avoid it my whole life
Selena: so i am quite ignorant about the controversies surrounding it