| From: Joshua Hawkins <josh.r.hawk@gmail.com> |
9:33 AM me: why, yes, I am playing Dwarf Fortress
and yes, I did start a fortress in an area described as "terrifying"
9:34 AM Joshua: lulz
me: and, yes, a werewolf just killed one of my dogs and is now chasing one of my dwarves around outside my nascent little cave fort
9:35 AM Joshua: sounds like a larf
me: oh, it is
Joshua: we SHOULD GET DRINKS ON THA MORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and by that i mean
VODKA!!!
and
9:36 AM VAGINA!!!
me: DF?
VAGINA?
Joshua: lol
me: both?
Joshua: V dubs lol
lololololol
me: we can play games and drink and then have vagina
Joshua: what - that's the craziest plan i've ever heard
but...
9:37 AM it just might work
!
!!
me: I'm endangering the mission...
sending pics of hot new asian girlfriend who's crazy about me
Joshua: your one of the good ones Gleap Glop
9:38 AM to me
lolol
very well - you've outdone yourself
9:39 AM you haven't had intercourse with her yet?
9:43 AM me: nope, just met her via okcupid three days ago
9:44 AM we talked for like an hour yesterday
and will be meeting up soon
she also lives on GRand
which will be convenient for a whole two weeks
she also mentioned blowjobs
Joshua: i c
9:45 AM good job B
me: when we were joking about us fistfighting
more like BLOWJOB B
more like good job B
more like good blowjob, BLOWJOB
also
Joshua: sounds like you met you a ripe crazy asian
9:46 AM just don't let her inject you with soy sauce while you sleep lolol
me: my little dwarf seems to have escaped grasp of werewold
Joshua: keep me updated on your game throughout the day
me: although he's just going to lead werewolf into my base
Joshua: i have a keen interest
me: will do
Joshua: !
9:47 AM me: this fort just started, like they're still moving their stuff inside
and there's a werewolf causing problems
Joshua: sounds like somebody picked the wrong place to build a fort
me: erewolf has signicicant injuries from figting my dog
or the RIGHT place
9:48 AM Joshua: can you kill it and keep its pelt?
me: my last fort was borning because the world I generated had genocided all goblins, apparantly
yep
Joshua: it would be awesome if you could taxidermy creatures and keep them as trophies
me: and then make its pelt into one of hundreds of things
Joshua: !!!
me: and perhaps one of my dwarves will create an art piece to commemorate it
Joshua: !!!!!
9:49 AM me: you need to read a little about DF today
Joshua: a BLOWJOB piece?
!!!!
me: this is something you need to play a bit as research for your game
YES JOSH A BLOWJOB PIECE
Joshua: that is true
lololol
he said it...
shhh.
now hang up
...
uranus
me: werewolf still on perimeter
9:50 AM stalking
Joshua: i c
me: ww's left lower leg is torn open
doesn't seem to be bleeding
9:51 AM Joshua: very exciting
9:54 AM me: it's healing
9:55 AM Joshua: why don't you try and trap the werewolf as a mascot or pet for your new fort
do it!
me: well
could
gotta build a cage
then a cage trap
9:56 AM Joshua: perhaps
9:58 AM me: actually my best bet since none of my guys are soldiers yet
Joshua: and then you could look at him
10:04 AM me: I know
plus
could make a room
with a trap door falling into it
10:05 AM and then people get eaten by the werewolf
or
Joshua: i should go home sick and spend the rest of my day playing this
me: they can successfully fight the werewolf
and take his place
this game I just started
10:06 AM Joshua: like the rancor in return of the jedi huh?
me: I built over an aquifier which means I may not be able to dig down below a certain level unless I engage in some incredible engineering feat
Joshua: you should try and recreate that room in your fort
me: so my access to rock is at least initially limited
10:07 AM Joshua: i c
me: plus I live in an area that's classified "terrifying"
and then I'll have the goblin sieges going on
but first goblin ambush squads, thieves, and kidnappers
10:08 AM its going to be a real struggle
I'll have to implement lots of crazy and ingenious traps, fortifications, security devices
just to survive
10:10 AM Joshua: i have faith in you barrett
i always have
!
10:12 AM me: there's a dead dog laying on a little slope right next to the entrance
and blood splattered all around it
10:13 AM Joshua: i guess you don't have any grounds keeper or janitors yet
10:14 AM me: nope
will have a butcher soon lol
10:15 AM Joshua: lololololol
got another stupid date tonight
10:16 AM i've never been on a date before b - could you give me some pointers
10:17 AM me: yeah
put all of your food inside behind a closed door to start off with
will keep it from rotting quickly
Joshua: uh huh
go on
this is good stuff
10:18 AM me: build a carpenter's workshop and a mason's worshop off the bat
Joshua: that will help with the conversation later in the date
right?
10:19 AM me: break down your wagon for wood
ah, hot asian girl is imming me, you just got DROPPED
actually, you're both getting dropped because WEREWOLF
10:20 AM Joshua: !
!!
11:10 AM me: here;s an article my asian chick wrote
just came out in New York Press
http://www.nypress.com/article-21120-flavor-of-the-week-no-ifs-ands-or-butts.html
11:11 AM she writes under pen name due to sexual nature
11:13 AM Joshua: i see - very good wrath
what an age we live in
and so on
11:18 AM me: awesomeslut.blogspot.com
11:19 AM her blog, zomglol
Joshua: lololol - not into anal sex - but i get the idea
11:20 AM find out about her friends - lol zomg