| Subject: Chat with selenaleong@gmail.com |
| From: "selenaleong@gmail.com" <selenaleong@gmail.com> |
3:38 PM me: yo yo yo
I'm slightly refreshed now
3:41 PM selenaleong: well THAT is good to hear.
3:42 PM me: I know
oh, I know
time to get low, do the tootsie roll
3:43 PM selenaleong: i'm not sure what that means
but if that means you are dancing, please count me out.
3:44 PM me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eG-brC_NGNU
good, I also hate dancing
selenaleong: oh my god.
i hate her
me: that's right
IT IT IT'S LITTLE UFFIE OF COURSE
selenaleong: i once got so drunk
me: SOMETHING ABOUT MIAMI
BRUNCH
selenaleong: in LA
3:45 PM w/ my friends
at some NIN DVD screening
bc my friends work in the music industry
anyway
my friend josh said i ripped a branch off a tree
and proceeded to beat the tree w/ its own limb
after he told me that it was uffie
this was after i almost walked OFF a rooftop
and pinched the CEO's son's ass
3:46 PM me: you were just drunk?
and not smoking PCP or some such?
selenaleong: i was also taking xanax back then.
(prescribed)
me: ah-so
3:47 PM that'll help
selenaleong: i am no longer on any meds
well it was an empty stomach and i was drinking maker's
me: gotcha
selenaleong: that was also the night i did the stupid put my legs behind my head attempt
3:48 PM which i wrote about on my OKC profile
3:49 PM well that clearly is not the most flattering story to tell. but you've already read my creepy sex blog so...
3:50 PM me: it's not a particularly unflattering story
you got drunk and did wacky stuff
3:51 PM selenaleong: well now it's YOUR turn to tell me about something stupid you did
3:53 PM me: very well
keep in mind that I am a completely different person now than I was ten years ago
selenaleong: um, we all are.
3:55 PM me: let's see
3:57 PM none of these are necessarily stupid things I did, just amusing. one time I took a whole bunch of acid, was 19 or so, went with my friend to drive this crazy 35-year-old woman to this rave in Houston where she was going to be selling these stupid bracelets because she had asked him to drive her due to her being crazy and scared of highways
so we get there and it's a stupid rave and me and the chick hit it off
3:58 PM so I go back to her place and we have crazy acid sex and she tells me that she's a 30,000 year old goddess
note that she was not on acid
she was sober
afterwards, she wouldn't let me have a beer out of the fridge because I was underage
4:00 PM I'm having trouble thinking of anything particularly stupid I've done
4:03 PM which is not to say that I haven't done a lot of stupid shit
my friends will tell you
selenaleong: well i think that makes a person more...uh, learned i guess.
4:04 PM and interesting, if they are at least good raconteurs
me: how so?
raconteurs?
selenaleong: well if you're a good story teller
then you can at least entertain people w/ the stupid shit you've done
4:05 PM me: don't know the word, you win a erudition point
selenaleong: it's some stupid word for "story teller"
but like, someone who is really GOOD at it
me: I see
selenaleong: i think it's of FRENCH origin
4:06 PM which must mean it's good?
me: I am very good in person
definitely French
selenaleong: very good at what, regaling the crowd with your stories? keeping them mesmerized ?
me: and I do have tons of stories, just drawing a blank right no
yep, regaling folks with stories
selenaleong: well that's fine, i don't want to put you on the spot.
me: BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE ZOMG
selenaleong: i have the strange & sudden craving for lobster & filet mignon
4:07 PM oh, WELL RELAX THERE COWBOY
me: that's not strange
selenaleong: i'm in a mood to romance myself
i'll probably put out
4:08 PM me: so you've seduced yourself without any problems, then
very well
selenaleong: oh i'm a whore for me
me: my roommate's about to go to New Orleans for the weekend
selenaleong: really?
are you suggesting i come over and we get hedonistic ?
me: yeo
by which I mean yes
selenaleong: i see
4:09 PM what is your concept of hedonistic
i mean to me, i'm a glutton, i could sit around eating ham all day
me: you know, general Greek classicism, we'll go to the baths and then stare at the youths, later engage in debate
selenaleong: can we have a vomitorium
4:10 PM me: perhaps run 5 miles followed by discus throwing
my whole apartment is a vomitorium
selenaleong: don't kill your dad.
me: don't try to change me, baby
I probably stand to inherit at least $1,500
selenaleong: well i was making a greek mythology reference
w/ the discus and all
4:11 PM me: I kno
selenaleong: i thought it was most appropriate!!!
me: it was
selenaleong: 1500 for your dad's demise is paltry
what is he, a pauper?
me: I know, he sucks
he used to be rich
then he got indicted
selenaleong: oil baron?
SHUT UP, for what
me: and blew most of the remainder on safaris
real estate-related fraud
land flipping sort of thing
he wasn't convicted
4:12 PM just blew a million or more in lawyer fees, ect
lost the house
selenaleong: yikes
me: went bankrupt
selenaleong: your mother divorced him?
me: divorce
yep
I went from living in a huge house in nicest part of Dallas when I was 7 to sharing a bed with my mom at my grandma's in considerably less-nice part of Dallas
4:13 PM selenaleong: wow
me: so I really experienced the '80s
selenaleong: riches to rags
and back again: the barrett brown story
me: indeed
Lifetime
selenaleong: who will play you
me: hmmm
4:14 PM David Bowie?
selenaleong: he's a little OLD
but i can see that.
though god i would still ravage him
me: I know
4:15 PM selenaleong: i don't know any woman who wouldn't
however i am weird and have a robert deniro fixation
me: I don't think that's unusual for a female
4:16 PM selenaleong: OK
i have some suspect taste though
gordon ramsay?
me: no idea
4:17 PM I have a very constrained pipeline of input
an actor?
selenaleong: no he's a chef
4:18 PM me: oh, shir
I know him
my roommate watches that show on her laptop
selenaleong: so why on earth would someone as ridiculously lazy, sloppy and hedonistic as me strike your fancy, i'm just curious ha ha
me: a lot
selenaleong: yes, he's...dreamy
me: well, I'm also lazy and sloppy and hedonistic
4:19 PM first, you're very attractive
selenaleong: that's your opinion
me: particularly in terms of my tastes
selenaleong: OK
what, you like bosomy asian broads w/ tattoos?
me: and you're intelligent and also clever
yes
just Asian girls in general, to start with
4:20 PM particularly all of you who are from New York
that's particularly sexy
4:21 PM I don't generally care about tattoos but your triad theme I dig
again, you're clever and quick
4:22 PM when I do breed, it most likely will not be with a crackerjack girl
as I'm a big proponent of the shuffling of disparate genes
4:23 PM also, breasts are nice
4:24 PM and you have an extraordinarily healthy rampant sexuality
which is a plus insomuch as that I require lots of sex for my productivity
also, for sex purposes
selenaleong: hahahaha do you.
you are better at arguing and being incendiary when you are getting it regularly?
4:25 PM me: hmmm
no, I don't think so
better at actually working, probably
or maybe not
I don't really care, I just want to have sex with you
selenaleong: what if you find me absolutely hideous in real life
me: then I'll get really drunk
selenaleong: what if i think you are a pompous blowhard
4:26 PM (i will get really drunk)
me: there you go
selenaleong: what if my personal scent is not to your liking, pheromones are important
what if i think your semen tastes like cauliflower, actually i really like cauliflower
me: I doubt it does, I don't eat enough vegetables
4:27 PM it will probably taste like tobacco, I'm afraid
I haven't had any complaints, anyway
4:28 PM selenaleong: hmm are you a heavy smoker
me: I'm cutting down
is that a problem?
I've been addicted since 15 or so
selenaleong: uh no i smoke.
me: it's sort of a work-related vice
selenaleong: oh cripes a cigarette addicted writer
and let me guess you really love espresso
4:29 PM me: nope
regular coffee
Puerto Rican coffee
selenaleong: whatever, i was right, you caffeine swilling monkey
me: you win this round
4:30 PM selenaleong: i'll win like, every round when it comes to fguring people out
me: nope
I'm good at that
selenaleong: OK i'm sure you are.
4:33 PM so barrett. what are you doing this fine evening
me: making fun of fascists
4:34 PM selenaleong: in what capacity
me: in my capacity as a professional smart-ass
4:35 PM I don't have any schedule, I mean
4:36 PM selenaleong: so you just make fun of fascists whenever, like breathing?
me: sort of
my workday never really ends
aside from my writing, I'm running a rather ambitious project that's launching this summer and which I'm always sort of at work on
4:37 PM selenaleong: really. what is that? christ when will you have the time to seduce me
me: Project PM
it's a lot of things
overtly and specifically, it is an entity made up of a blogger network and a governing networking
4:38 PM both operate under specific sorts of networks that I've designed to be superior to any existing form of collaboration/networking
and which are also designed to grow automatically and rapidly, without any additional input from myself after such a point as it is put into motion
4:39 PM what is secretly is
4:40 PM is a method by which to encourage the development of institutions that will run parallel to nation-states, serving many of the same functions
4:41 PM and, perhaps a hundred years hence, to replace them with technocratic, landless
"governments"
I'll explain more later
anyway
selenaleong: hmm
me: I've got several dozen very talented, capable, and influential people who have dedicated themselves to the project
4:42 PM Newsweek's former Baghdad correspondent
selenaleong: i'm not quite certain i can wrap my head around what you just said.
because when it comes to politics i am admittedly pretty stupid
me: the guy who was the most widely-read conservative blogger until turning against his fellow conservatives
a woman who advises governments on information security and global risk assessment
etc.
selenaleong: wow.
4:43 PM this is a pretty impressive project
me: as what I've proposed is absolutely necessary and everyone knows it
but no one has come along and actually put it into motion until now
it's basically a media reform effort
4:44 PM selenaleong: well now i'm perfectly intimidated by you.
me: targeting certain commentators, particularly columnists for New York Times and Washington Post, for discrediting
selenaleong: this is worse than the time i went out to dinner w/ charles ferguson
me: who's that again?
selenaleong: oh he is some political pundit dude
he did some documentary about iraq?
4:45 PM also invented "front page" some application that got bought out by microsoft or adobe or some junk
just some really, really driven smart dude who made me feel like i was 10 years old
me: ho
t
anyway
selenaleong: so yes you're smart, i guess i can't try pulling anything over on YOU.
4:46 PM me: you should feel intimidated, this project is snowballing in such a way as to have already provided me with what amounts to my own private intelligence service
selenaleong: oh great
me: not even counting the secret portions
4:47 PM also, I have this nifty symbol I designed
selenaleong: so what do i do to ensure i am not the first up against the wall.
self preservation is at the forefront of my mind
me: be on the bed, that'll help
selenaleong: haha
me: you don't strike me as The Enemy
selenaleong: i'm kind of digging you
oh i'm not the enemy
4:48 PM i'll mata hari you if you want
4:49 PM wait did that even make sense.
4:50 PM me: sure
I was in the kitchen or I would have responded in some allegedly clever fashion
4:51 PM anyway, the project is basically my life's long-term project now that I've done all the writing stuff I set out to do when I was a kid
had to compose new goals
selenaleong: wow. you were a determined little shit.
me: yeah, I was crazy
selenaleong: "was"
i like ambition in others, it is a good influence for someone as shiftless as me.
4:52 PM me: maybe you can be of use
selenaleong: oh trust me
me: other than as a penis sheath
selenaleong: i know i'm of great use
hmmm
if that's my role in life, i should just accept it :(
4:53 PM wait i'm a terrible feminist
me: heh
a lot of girls are
selenaleong: I STUDIED FEMINIST THEORY IN COLLEGE
me: being a feminist is easier for a guy than a girl
4:54 PM selenaleong: my concentration in media studies is POST MODERN FEMINIST FILM THEORY
for my MA!
but i'm a walking contradiction, i also am a shitty buddhist and a TERRIBLE marxist
4:56 PM me: I'm a very good anarchist
5:10 PM me: in fact, if Project PM works as I expect it to - and it has already worked far better than I expected in terms of preparations, recruitment - it will be the most significant contribution to the concept of anarchism as a viable "institution" since the communist-anarchist Alexander Berkman wrote The ABCs of Anarchism almost a century ago
5:11 PM I'll tell you more later
selenaleong: OK
me: there are a lot of ins and outs, of course
5:12 PM selenaleong: you realize when you do that in person i will just stare at you like you are speaking portugese
me: no, because I do a good job of presenting it in an easy-to-follow manner
also
selenaleong: will you at least rub my thigh when doing this
5:13 PM me: you are exaggerating your lack of understanding
selenaleong: so i can look enthused about SOMETHING
me: yes, I will fuck you while I lecture you on the finer points of media theory
5:14 PM and spank you if you get anything rwrong on impromptu pop quizzes.
selenaleong: oh god you're turning me on and i'm at work
5:15 PM me: you'll find the subject matter interesting on its own merits, though,
sucks to be you, I'm going to go jack off
selenaleong: you are a cruel man
wait are you really going to wank?
5:16 PM me: FAP FAP FAP
not right now
engaging in important correspondence
in a minute though, yes
5:17 PM selenaleong: what, you're not going to invite me?
me: you're invited to do anything at any time and in whatever capacity you like
5:18 PM that's an open invitation
selenaleong: hmm since that would be our first meeting it might be potentially awkward and difficult to converse while your penis is thrusting down my throat
i mean i know ASL but i'm not that great at it ,i can only do the alphabet actually
me: I'm confused
5:19 PM selenaleong: what do you need clarification on
me: also, do you really love to give blojobs or something
?
selenaleong: hahahaha i don't know, what do you think
me: ASL, that whole sentence
selenaleong: american sign language
me: I see
selenaleong: right see that ties into the 2nd part
the "joke" if you will
me: wouldn't you rather get fucked from behind than give a blowjob?
5:20 PM selenaleong: i'd like them both, please
me: very well
god damnit
my dad's 4th wife just sent me another retarded
5:21 PM selenaleong: retarded?
5:23 PM did your computer crash
me: I have some ongoing problems with it for some reason
even though it's new
sort of stutters ometime
ha
5:24 PM selenaleong: you should throw it out a window
me: my old friend who was actually my roommate before the douches moved in and who;s down in Texas working a a producer for NBC affiliate
just IMd me
Caleb: My grammpa just suggested that perhaps the Communists are backing the whole Obama administration.
5:25 PM selenaleong: hahaha WHAT
me: usually, he's got amusing anecdots from the wacky newsroom down there
East Texas town
5:26 PM selenaleong: hmm
texans.
are they known for being liberal or conservative, i always thought it was the latter.
5:28 PM me: conservative
but they were mostly Democrats for 15 years due to Civil War
5:29 PM selenaleong: hmm fairweathered lot of you
5:33 PM me: you have to remember that some older Texans have grandfathers who fought in the Civil War and consider the land to be occupied by an enemy power
selenaleong: who's the enemy power? the northerners? YANKEES?
me: yep
5:34 PM the U.S. as a whole
those people hate me
5:35 PM selenaleong: old school texans probably hate anyone who doesn't fall into their social/political circles
me: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/barrett-brown/confederate-group-league_b_335747.html
5:37 PM selenaleong: god you are so SMUG
i like it.
me: yep
5:38 PM selenaleong: you look smug.
5:39 PM me: well, that head shot's from when I was on Fox News talking to one giant idiot and one closet case pretend idiot
5:40 PM selenaleong: yes i remember that link
i tried to watch it
the dude kept saying jesus christ and i got annoyed
you looked kind of...overwhelmed bc nobody would let you talk/
5:41 PM me: you should watch the whole thing
gets a little more interesting
5:42 PM selenaleong: OK
you look a little pinched
5:44 PM me: my roommate better hurry the fuck up and come get her bag so she can get to the airport
5:45 PM ah, speak of the devil
5:46 PM she just walked in
selenaleong: well send her my regards?
me: okay
selenaleong: tell her i will be fucking you on her bed
or not
me: she says she wants to get high with you
selenaleong: HAHAHAHA
me: I'm not going to tell her that because it's true
selenaleong: a weed smoking lawyer
wait you are going to fuck me on her bed?
me: and she got pissed off at me for that
perhaps
5:47 PM just for fun
I have a foldout couch/bed
we got this one bedroom as a temporary solution
5:48 PM so, sex here is usually kind of a public affair
selenaleong: hmm
you know i live alone right.
5:49 PM me: I did indeed
but she's going out of town for the weekend
5:50 PM and at any rate, I'm going to be staying with my buddies at their place next month
so we'll eventually be fucking at your place generally
perhaps, then we should take this rare chance to fuck at a non-your place
5:52 PM selenaleong: ha ha
man i like how we've assumed we will actually fuck
me: I also like that
selenaleong: when in reality i will probably stare awkwardly at you
like "um...so hi?"
i guess you better get me liquored up
me: no, you won't
I'll take charge
selenaleong: are you trying to woo me or fuck me, there's a difference
5:53 PM and i need to know how to view you
me: I'm intent on actually "dating" you
at this point
selenaleong: wow.
i kind of like that
actually wait no i do like it
con mucho gusto
me: con mucho gusto?
5:54 PM selenaleong: it's spanish, come on, you're mexico's attic
me: that doesn't sound correct
I know
with much I like?
is that an idiom?
con?
selenaleong: it is indeed
with
much
me: WHAT IS THIS CRAZY WORLD?!?!?!
selenaleong: pleasure
5:55 PM me: I see
perhaps Spain spanish or some suc
selenaleong: NO
me: NO
selenaleong: it's SPANISH SPANISH
no fucking valencia shit
with the lispy S
me: yeah, that's what I mean
selenaleong: i took spanish for like eighty seven years
me: fucking Hibernia
selenaleong: do you have a temper
5:56 PM i bet your temper is the result of being so overly intelligent and hating everyone for being stupid
me: in a way
usually directed at inanimate objects
selenaleong: like your new lapop
me: when directed towards people, it's not due to them being stupid, but dishonest
exactly
5:58 PM and most all of my enemies are dishonest
some extraordinarily so
I'm still waiting for this one toy fascist douchebag to make a correction regarding his libel of me
from like a week ago
6:00 PM oh, snap
speaking of whic
here's some grade-a faggotry
http://www.realliberalchristianchurch.org/wordpress/2010/04/15/mike-huckabee-v-homosexuality-the-associated-press-et-al-an-article-you-wont-find-in-the-msm.html
every day it's some new shit
6:03 PM selenaleong: um
can you sum that up in 3 sentences or less
6:04 PM right wing christians hate everyone who is gay, liberal?
6:11 PM me: nah
this fellow isn't necessarily a right-winger
just attacking me for silly reasons
6:12 PM usual thing whereby a Christian doesn't think an atheist knows things about Christianity
like, "AHA BUT ACTUALLY JESUS CAME AND REVOKED THE OLD TESTAMENT"
like, I know, douchebag
selenaleong: ah religion, i know nothing of it.
me: I know more about Christianity than they do
6:13 PM they don't know shit about Constantine, Justinian, etc
and they'd rather not know
as those things show what Christianity really is
6:15 PM selenaleong: you're super intimidating
6:16 PM me: got me a sandwich, got me a coke, got me some hostess cup cakes
now I'm less intimidating, I'll bet
6:17 PM but I'm the happiest guy in the world
selenaleong: thats what you're eating ?
lame
drop that and meet me for dinner
me: can't
gotta finish something up real quick
can meet you later, though, if you want to come over here
6:19 PM selenaleong: what's "later"
6:20 PM i really just wanted an excuse to go to walter foods and have a fucking steak or some lobster.
me: "Lastly, in the interest of full disclosure, is M. C. Tracey or Natasha Metzler or Barrett Brown either homosexual or bi-sexual or other than heterosexual? I am strictly heterosexual. I suspect Mike Huckabee is also, although he can speak for himself."
well, I gotta eat this sandwich now as I'm starving
and also need to bathe, etc.
selenaleong: a SANDWICH? what a failure pile
me: and finish up something
6:21 PM I'm not much of a foodie
selenaleong: i'm not a FOODIE
i just enjoy eating.
6:23 PM me: whoa, this guy really is anti-gay
I'm going to tear him the fuck up
6:25 PM selenaleong: are t hey suggesting you're gay because you are defending homosexuals ha ha ha what kind of lame fucking defense is that
6:26 PM me: he's just a big douchebag in general and he's talking a lot of nonsense
6:27 PM and he's fixated on gays
selenaleong: see it just seems like they are using a lot of big words and rhetoric to say some hateful shit
me: I don't mind the hateful part
it's just backed by nothing
6:28 PM Christian rhetoric is empty
no rigor to it
6:34 PM selenaleong: what is the point of even giving these blow hards any attention
6:35 PM me: several reasons
for one thing, they ran the country for eight years and killed several hundred thousand people in the process
ran up a 4 trillion dollar deficit
destroyed our prestige and soft power
and other such things
6:36 PM because they were able to convince moderates/independents that they were reasonable people
6:37 PM so my job is to convince moderates/independents that, no, they're not reasonable people, they're incompetent whining little bitches
so I point out and refute their nonsense
6:39 PM selenaleong: this really IS your job.
i'm kind of impressed again
maybe i'm easily impressed
me: maybe so
my kind of woman!
6:40 PM selenaleong: haha what, you want me to gaze at you w/ adoring, fawning eyes
me: yep
selenaleong: do you need that?
me: nope
selenaleong: you just want it?
6:41 PM me: sure
6:42 PM selenaleong: it's really hard to get me to do that
i have a general disdain for humanity
me: I don't really need much at all from people, spend most of my time by myself, but I'm always happy to have a girl
selenaleong: haha i'm kind of the same
me: good
6:43 PM selenaleong: i'm kind of...well i am NOW, a loner
or as my friend catherine called me, "agoraphobic ching chong"
me: me too.
lol chinh chong
selenaleong: even t hough i was like miss social butterfly 1992-2004
me: I spent the vast majority of my childhood by myself and sort of require that as an adult
6:44 PM selenaleong: really?
no siblings?
me: nope
and my mom had to work after divorce
so was me and a cat most of the time
6:45 PM selenaleong: so you like cats?
bc i have two. and tehy are stupid and shed a lot.
me: yep
selenaleong: oh good
6:46 PM you and i can make hot fuck on a pile of cat hair and dirty laundry
me: make hot fuck
speaking of which, are you of Chines ancestry or what?
6:47 PM I'm English and Irish myself
selenaleong: yes
i'm purebred chinese
me: purebred!
selenaleong: do you want to dirty up my yellow?
6:48 PM me: I've never actually had an Asian girl for some reason
except for an Indian
and she was only part Indian
selenaleong: so you DO want to dirty up my yellow.
me: I can't wait to see your sideways vagina
yes, I want to etc.
what a horrible double entendre
6:50 PM selenaleong: hahaha
6:52 PM me: I want to open up your freshwater ports for international trade
selenaleong: you are aware...it's not really sideways.
OMG
me: yes, I know
selenaleong: i think i just fell in love with you
me: also, storm the Forbidden Palace
selenaleong: if only you had said "baby girl i want to colonize your body"
me: I'm getting to that
6:53 PM selenaleong: my god how do you have me swooning
me: I dated/fucked a communist Bosniak girl and told her I wanted to nationalize her means of reproduction
selenaleong: haaaaaaahaaaaaaaa
me: my uncle fucked this Muslim chick when we were in East Africa
and told her, "Bend over, baby, and I'll fly you to Mecca"
which makes no sense, really
selenaleong: oh my god
6:54 PM well does she get 12 virgins if she dies for the cause
i don't get it
me: I don't know
but I come from a grand line of sexual conquistadors
selenaleong: hmm
6:55 PM me: the reason the English sailed around the world exploring and colonizing
selenaleong: now i am wondering if i should play hard to get
me: was that English girls are ugly
we wanted to meet brown girls
6:56 PM selenaleong: i was not aware that's the case.
me: well, I think a lot of historians would argue with me on that
selenaleong: that was grammatically horrible
me: but fuck them
6:57 PM no, it wasn't
I was not aware that is the case.
selenaleong: stop eroticizing our "exotic"
me: NEVER
stop being erotic
selenaleong: i'm bristling at your white man's burden
i can't help it, i'm just naturally erotic
OK i'm leaving
6:58 PM i am going to treat myself to a steak or some junk today
me: 512-560-2302
selenaleong: is that your #?
me: yep
selenaleong: oh. i should give you mine
917 626 5083
me: very well
you going to come over later?
6:59 PM selenaleong: oh the reality is i won't
tonight
but if you're free tomorrow...
me: word
sure
selenaleong: tomorrow?
me: yep
selenaleong: OK.
i'll put on my swooning pants
me: then I'll jack off now
7:00 PM do that
selenaleong: AAAAHAHAHHAAAAA
adios, dude.
me: adios