selenaleong: hello. it's selena. i'm bored @ work. how are you? me: hey, was just writing you an e-mail me: cutting it short and sending it now me: be a same to waste it selenaleong: ha OK, i guess i'll read it then reply via IM. me: so, thanks for getting back to me me: you're very intriguing selenaleong: well. i'm a sucker for flattery coming from a seemingly handsome & intelligent fellow me: I'm good at flattery selenaleong: i couldn't make it too far into the clip you linked; all the talk of JC made me feel sick selenaleong: you're a writer, of course you're good at it. selenaleong: you are also probably really good at biting, concise insults me: but I'm good at it because I'm from Dallas, not because I'm a writer me: I'm used to being in trouble with women, you see me: it's a survival skill selenaleong: so you're used to knocking them up and stealing cows? selenaleong: i'm not sure what dallas has to do w/ this me: I would never steal a cow me: it's an amoral sort of city selenaleong: but a steer, OH BOY WATCH OUT? me: yep me: where are you working? selenaleong: i'm in soho freelancing me: but, yeah, I'm good at insults selenaleong: yes, i suspected you would be selenaleong: as i am really really good at being a mean ass bitch w/ the cutting comments. me: about half of my work involves attacking people and picking fights me: yeah, I figured you would be, too selenaleong: ha ha selenaleong: could you imagine if we teamed up me: that's very endearing selenaleong: the world would never rest for fear of our commentary me: we could be a power couple. A really mean power couple selenaleong: haha selenaleong: i'll buy shoulder pads selenaleong: we'll need them. me: lol me: shoulder pads me: I don't even get it but I thought it was funny selenaleong: well i just thought of 80's power couples selenaleong: power suits me: oh, right selenaleong: HUGE SHOULDER PADS me: gotca selenaleong: i work in apparel so... me: I knew there was something there selenaleong: yes well selenaleong: so you're in WB! me: you work in Midtown or what? selenaleong: where are you? selenaleong: i'm in soho selenaleong: i'm curious to know where in WB you live. me: I've been in Williamsburg for past few months, was in Bushwick for nearly two years before selenaleong: ah. i am considering moving to bushwick. how is it there. me: I'm at s. 3rd st. and Union selenaleong: ha ha wait what. me: near Barcade and all that selenaleong: i'm on grand btwn driggs & roebling selenaleong: yes i know where that is. i lived ovr there for a year like...seven years ago me: so, near Union Pool me: good old Union Pool selenaleong: i'm across the street from clem's selenaleong: and trash bar selenaleong: union pool, where you can always wait 23 minutes for the restroom even when nobody else is there. me: actually not aware of either place selenaleong: ah selenaleong: you should venture to my side of the hood someday. selenaleong: great restaurants me: I just go to Macri Park next door and use their bathroom selenaleong: if you enjoy eating. selenaleong: i've never been to macri me: I'm growing more fond of it me: it sucks selenaleong: i had a friend who dj'd at macri on sundays me: I just use the bathroom there from Union me: I walk by the place and actually get angry selenaleong: she would try to promote via FB me: at how much it sucks selenaleong: wow. THAT bad? selenaleong: how does a bar inspire such ire? me: I have, like, some sort of empathetic thing going on whereby places anger me selenaleong: hmm selenaleong: i have similar feelings towards other venues me: particularly places that are clearly filled with boring people selenaleong: trash bar being one of them me: never been there selenaleong: don't waste your time me: but I like wasting my time... selenaleong: unless you like leaving a bar smelling like tater tots and desperation me: wow selenaleong: w/ every drink you can have some deep fried deep fried potatoes! me: I don't, I guess me: never tried it me: that actually sounds redeeming, but I understand what you're going for in terms of description selenaleong: ah. hey i have to update something, i will be back in a few. me: word selenaleong: OK i'm back selenaleong: anyway if you enjoy being surrounded by a bunch of corny, milquetoast white kids from like, tupelo or something, listening to the cranberries, drinking cheap lagers while playing billiards on a shoddy table, then by all means, go there. me: I'll give that some serious thought selenaleong: you'd be wasting some serious neurons me: I should mention that I am very opposed to the presence of other whites on the whole and term them crackerjacks me: not all whites, obviously me: but the sort who make it up here me: from places like Ohio me: they are ruining the reputations of all of us selenaleong: listen cowboy selenaleong: haha selenaleong: so. you're from TEXAS. selenaleong: texans tend to be pretty awesome me: yes, from where lots of non-pussy whites derive me: even if Texas obviously does spawn lots of assholes selenaleong: well based on the surly demeanor of my favorite texan, doyle brunson selenaleong: i can't disparage them. selenaleong: i'm going to assume you know who he is me: I used to disparage them myself until I learned what the alternative was me: nope selenaleong: oh. he's just a famous old cowboy poker player selenaleong: i believe he has like...8 bracelets selenaleong: millions in career tournament winnings blah blah selenaleong: but i digress. selenaleong: barrett brown sounds like the name of a southern man me: ah. I've got lots of extraordinarily stereotypical Texans in my extended family me: ranchers and all that me: military me: etc etc me: I've been forced to do a lot of hunting over the years selenaleong: well i'm a yankee selenaleong: you are kind of mysterious and fascinating to me me: we are a very mysterious people me: inscrutable selenaleong: no you're just... selenaleong: bold, upfront, honest selenaleong: big, brash me: relatively, yes selenaleong: and polite selenaleong: somehow, very very genteel me: genteel is accurate, yes selenaleong: i like that. me: well, I'm also fond of what I know about you thus far me: you're basically my perfect New York girl selenaleong: wait what selenaleong: ha ha no way, really? selenaleong: inability to clean me: I'm assuming you don't have a tremendously irritating voice, for instance, unlike a lot of other northerners selenaleong: no, i have no real accent selenaleong: i've actually been asked by some people if i'm southern selenaleong: i sometimes get a drawl when drinking me: I basically broke it off with some other girl a couple days back largely because of her voice selenaleong: but otherwise i have that NO ACCENT accent me: that's fine selenaleong: ha ha did she sound like fran drescher selenaleong: i did get some jew boy to swoon when i imitated what i thought his mother would sound like. selenaleong: i was spot on :( me: well, not really, it was a different sort of thing, and she was from Connecticut, which I despise selenaleong: oh. what's wrong w/ CT selenaleong: my ex's family hails from there me: I've actually never been outside of new york except for new jersey me: I don't know, just a bunch of scrubs and white bread selenaleong: there are some LOVELY parts of CT me: I'm sure it's very pretty selenaleong: well i'm partial to stupid shit like boating. selenaleong: and shellfish selenaleong: and fishing me: but it lacks the excitement of Texas me: most states do selenaleong: well we can't all get into mexican standoffs. me: I know, it's very sad me: so, we should meet up soon selenaleong: i would like that. selenaleong: perhaps we will end in a fistfight me: sure me: why not? me: passion is important selenaleong: well i'd prefer something less violent than a fistfight selenaleong: blowjobs, for instance, are far less scarring. me: me too, since you'd win me: unless they're done entirely wrong selenaleong: well. selenaleong: i'm not going to extol my own virtues. me: call me an old romantic, but yes, I would prefer to receive a blowjob than to physically fight a female me: It's a Texas thing, I suppose selenaleong: i am pretty sure 99% of straight and probably gay men would agree w/ you selenaleong: would you lay your jacket down for me so i could walk in a puddle selenaleong: bc that is STUPID selenaleong: however, if you know your way around ropes... me: no, my jackets are my most important possessions other than my laptop me: I don't think anyone does that at all anymore selenaleong: do you invest in expensive pieces selenaleong: "pieces" me: like, I'd be surprised if even one person has done that in the last few years me: I don't invest in anything me: my jackets are all Christmas presents from either my mom or Dad me: they buy me high-end jackets or whatever every year me: even though I already have plenty of them me: but I don't really have any possessions selenaleong: haha aw selenaleong: that's cute. selenaleong: so you've got your laptop selenaleong: and like, a bunch of paul smith jackets me: other than my laptop, two suitcases of clothes, a few books, and a couple of knick-knacks like a hookah from Beirut me: exactly selenaleong: wow selenaleong: you travel light. me: so I can travel or move at a moment's notice selenaleong: i wish i were so pared down and minimalist selenaleong: i have to move soon and i'm dreading the process selenaleong: of packing and cleaning selenaleong: 5+ years in the same place...i kind of...settled in. me: I don't even have my checks sent to me, they go to a P.O. box in Dallas and my mom is authorized to deposit them into my account me: why do you have to move? selenaleong: wow selenaleong: you truly do live off the grid. selenaleong: oh i live alone selenaleong: and um the not working for a few months thing... selenaleong: i racked up a SHIT TON of debt to my landlord selenaleong: i need a roommate selenaleong: and my current apartment is not set up for such things as it's a 1BR me: that happened to me recently, except I was having to pay for my stupid fucking man-child roommmates selenaleong: oh selenaleong: christ how many people di dyou live w/ me: ended up blowing a couple thousand on those incompetent little bitches selenaleong: yikes selenaleong: why were you so generous me: I had a nice place in Bushwick, originally with a good friend of mine from Texas, but he moved back down there to take a job as a producer for an NBC affiliate me: and I took on some acquaintances selenaleong: oh and let me guess. they took advantage of you... selenaleong: and your generous southern nature. me: one was a heroin addict going through a divorce, always crying about shit, actually literally crying, couldn't hold a job as a chef, etc. selenaleong: wow me: another was this fucking "DJ" who promptly lost his job at a BBQ joint and who was totally sure that he was going to make money with his music, etc me: anyway, I was trying to help them out selenaleong: hahahaha selenaleong: i'm sorry for laughing but...ha ha ha me: and assumed that something would work out for at least one of them me: it's okay, doesn't matter now selenaleong: did you cut your losses, call it a day me: so, I'm happy just to have escaped from all that, their very presence took a lot of my work time me: yeah, just paid the back rent and then announced that I was moving the fuck out selenaleong: so now you are residing in WB and what, working on your writing? me: so got a temporary place with my old friend Mirna here me: yeah, I've got tons of things going on with my work right now me: writing for some additional publications beyond what I was already doing me: finished my second book a few months back, it'll be out in late MAy, I think selenaleong: wow. i'm impressed. selenaleong: it's not easy to be a real writer in NYC. me: plus I'm running this huge project which takes a lot of time me: sure it is selenaleong: well. i never really tried. selenaleong: until recently. me: just a lot of people who try to be writers either don't have the talent or don't know how to go about writing in such a way as to pay their bills selenaleong: OK well i'm the latter me: well, I can help you out with some things selenaleong: i do other shit selenaleong: really? selenaleong: i'd appreciate that me: of course, I can give you some great advice and also help you connect to whomever you need to get in touch with me: I'm very well-connected these days selenaleong: well i'm not a political writer. selenaleong: i'm a uh...fiction writer. me: I've done everything me: used to do fiction when I was 17, 18 selenaleong: or. i write about shit i shouldn'tbe me: you can do both, write what pays and also write what you want selenaleong: well selenaleong: the first real article i ever wrote was published today. selenaleong: i mean the other shit i've written were for blogs or like, vice magazine book reviews me: congrats, where? selenaleong: the NY press ha ha ha me: I love that pub selenaleong: do you? selenaleong: uh selenaleong: well. me: know Matt Taibbi, who used to be the editor me: he blurbed my first book selenaleong: a friend intro'd me via email to the sex columnist editor guy selenaleong: but i used a pseudonym for the article bc it's linked to my sordid blog me: gotcha selenaleong: and i am not about to have the world know about the shit i do behind closed doors and associate it with SELENA LEONG. me: send me a link if it's online selenaleong: oh. meeting. must go. me: word me: later