Subject: Chat with samantha.sterling@gmail.com
From: "samantha.sterling@gmail.com" <samantha.sterling@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

8:18 PM samantha.sterling: i may have meningitis
8:23 PM me: holy shit
  I'm sorry
 samantha.sterling: i probably don't. i didn't see a doctor or anything. it's a self diagnosis.
 me: oh
8:24 PM I'm sorry you're a hypochondriac, then
 samantha.sterling: fuck you my neck hurts
 me: well, you should, uh, drink some tea
8:25 PM samantha.sterling: i've been drinking tea all day. it doesn't seem to be helping....stupid flu
 me: well, I've got some heroin
8:26 PM and I am a doctor
 samantha.sterling: a doctor of what?
 me: a medical doctor
 samantha.sterling: since when?
 me: medical school
 samantha.sterling: you didn't go to medical school
 me: I'm also a lawyer
8:27 PM a lawyer doctor
 samantha.sterling: i'll pass on the heroin, but thanks for the offer
  i don't need any more addictions in my life
 me: that's okay, I'll do it then
 samantha.sterling: why not
8:28 PM what did you think of the film traffic?
 me: was okay
  kind of ham-fisted
8:29 PM with Michael Douglas drinking all the time in such a way as to convey OMG LOOK HYPOCRISY
 samantha.sterling: for some reason, i don't remember that
  but it seems reasonable
 me: the whole thing should have been about the border
  I went to Juarez a number of years back
8:30 PM now it's so fucked up even I wouldn't go there
 samantha.sterling: what were you doing in juarez?
8:31 PM me: friend of mine was moving to California and I went with him and flew back
  we stopped in El Paso and went to go party in Juarez
  there's a border crossing there
  place was already really fucked up even then
  now it's among the most dangerous places in the world
8:32 PM like, worse than Baghdad
  a lot worse
 samantha.sterling: wow
 me: same with the area around which my mom grew up elsewhere on the border
8:33 PM samantha.sterling: you said your family came from england, originally...how long have they been in texas?
8:35 PM me: most of the branches had been there since before the establishment of the
  Texas Republic
  my Lancaster grandfather came from a homesteader family in deep Arkansas
8:36 PM samantha.sterling: interesting. none of my family were in this country prior to 1900
 me: where is your family from?
  or, what places
 samantha.sterling: 3/4 russia, 1/4 lithuania. i'm fourth generation american on one side, third gen on the othere
  other
8:37 PM me: huh, figured you'd be something else from Sterling
 samantha.sterling: we actually think that my great great grand father changed whatever his russian name was to sterling when he came to this country
  to make it sound better
 me: right
8:38 PM well, it certainly sounds good
 samantha.sterling: i like it
  although there is some stupid porn star with my name
 me: lol
  that's your cover story, huh?
 samantha.sterling: yeah you got me

6 minutes
8:45 PM me: eating fruit?
 samantha.sterling: not at this particular moment, but yes, in general, i eat fruit everyday
8:46 PM generally strawberries and grapes. sometimes apples, clementines and blueberries
 me: Mirna and I are eating an orange
8:47 PM and then I'm going to go across the street and buy additional oranges
  for eating purposes
 samantha.sterling: what else would you do with an orange?
 me: throw it at a fascist
 samantha.sterling: oh yes, you could do that. but eggs would be better
  or an apple even
8:48 PM me: eggs are valuable protein
  you're right about the apple
8:49 PM ah, apparently we're going down the street to smoke our friend's weed
  then
  I'm going to play a computer game for the first time in a month
  I've very excited
 samantha.sterling: lovely. enjoy
8:50 PM me: feel better
  I will pray to God for you
 samantha.sterling: hahahaha
  thanks
8:51 PM me: aha
  Mirna got called by this Dot Com fellow this morning
  invited her to his birthday party
8:52 PM if she can get me in, I can probably network with TV/comedy folks and maybe get a big money gig
  buy lots of oranges
  some for eating, some for throwing
 samantha.sterling: seems like a good idea
8:56 PM me: here, this will relax you
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBmM79YadYM&feature=email
 samantha.sterling: i love this song, actually.....smooth jazz version? what the fuck?
 me: friend just sent it to me
8:57 PM samantha.sterling: i'm not sure how i feel about this
 me: pursue those feelings
  let them flow naturally
8:58 PM samantha.sterling: i've decided
  it sucks
 me: !
 samantha.sterling: the original was way better. the video was so creepily awesome
8:59 PM me: I went to a Metallica concert when I was a kid
  the guy was all like
  "So, they let you guys out too, huh?"
  like, yeah, we're all crazy man, or criminals, yeah, hardcore
  then
9:00 PM they got all bitchy about people stealing their songs
 samantha.sterling: they sure did
 me: "I'm your eyes when you must steal"
9:01 PM samantha.sterling: which is that video where it looks like they're in a room that's spinning?
 me: Don't know, never seen it
 samantha.sterling: hmm. i must figure this out
9:02 PM ah yes, the memory remains
 me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_pS46YRMIQ
 samantha.sterling: that's what it's called
9:04 PM wow, i have no words. except wow. and i like his pink floyd boxer brief things
 me: yeah, those are key
  you can see the love in her eyes
9:05 PM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ziz-dUe5tWA
 samantha.sterling: how can she not?
9:09 PM oh nice. i wasn't expecting her to moon us

17 minutes
9:27 PM me: she's full of surprises