| Subject: Chat with samantha.sterling@gmail.com |
| From: "samantha.sterling@gmail.com" <samantha.sterling@gmail.com> |
4:20 PM samantha.sterling: do you ever sleep?
4:21 PM well done on the putin stuff, btw. you really showed em!
4:22 PM me: yo yo
actually didn't go to bed last night
4:23 PM had to harass everyone
samantha.sterling: clearly
me: bloggers and senators and whatnot
samantha.sterling: so you're running on pure hatred. i like it.
me: the drugs, too
samantha.sterling: ah yes. those help
which ones?
me: but it was a pretty productive night
4:24 PM I was shooting up most of my little heroin reward supply I got to buy for my New York Observer gig
later I had coffee
I recruited a bunch more people, too
4:25 PM samantha.sterling: i'm surprised that it has that effect on you. i thought people that shoot up just like to fuck and then pass out
me: Michael Hastings, Newsweek's former Baghdad correspondent
plus this woman
who serves as an information security analyst for various governments and corporations
samantha.sterling: how's he assisting you?
4:26 PM me: and some others
who, Hastings or the other/
samantha.sterling: any and all of them
me: Hastings asked for a review copy of my book to blurb
samantha.sterling: wow
that's awesome!
congrats
me: and I asked him about what he may have heard regarding Vision Air
since he was in Baghdad for several years
4:27 PM and noted I'd get back to him regarding Project PM later
but he's down for whatever
the information security specialist
will be useful for a lot things
like not having to deal with my friend Andrew Stein when I need something like TOR or encryption
4:28 PM and otherwise handling various erudite matters
I think I used the term erudite incorrectly
samantha.sterling: you use it a lot.
me: how was your day?
4:29 PM samantha.sterling: pretty good, did my usual friday volunteering
gonna work out in a a bit
feel like i want to take a nap
you probably should take a nap too
4:30 PM me: nah, got a bunch more stuff to do and not yet tired
check this out
wait, never mind
4:31 PM damnit, my fucking producer friend is making fun of my radio interview
You're so funny.
You're soooooo funnnny!!!!!
Tell the listening audience more about the Soviets and their approach to Darwinism.
And Gregor Mendel.
And, for christ's sake, forget about that 15 second rule.
Both of you idiots.
The host of this shitty show and you.
samantha.sterling: haha
me: the host does suck, he's right about that
and some of his criticism of me is warranted
4:32 PM samantha.sterling: he has to keep you grounded
me: yeah, I need several people for that or I'll proclaim myself the 12th Imam or some such thing
samantha.sterling: only the 12th?
me: well, he's the Mahdi
that's the best you can be
4:33 PM unless there's a more secret 13th mahdi
samantha.sterling: oh. my imam knowledge is sadly lacking
me: which is a good idea for a technothriller
yeah, that's terribly sad that you don't know a bunch Shiite nonsense
Caleb: It's your fault for sucking in over-large pockets exceeding 15 seconds.
Faggu.
samantha.sterling: it's good to know a lot about as much as you can
faggu?
4:34 PM this caleb character is funny
me: yes, I've known him since 4th grade
samantha.sterling: why is he still in texas?
4:35 PM me: he just went back a few months ago
to take this job as a news producer
samantha.sterling: ah. seems reasonable
4:36 PM you know, you still never told me your ultimate goal
me: did I not?
samantha.sterling: don't think so
4:37 PM me: ultimate goal has been expanding for a while
4:38 PM originally, when I was 10 or 11, it had two parts - to be a writer and live in New York
and to create some sort of empire
samantha.sterling: and now?
me: at that point I imagined the empire as being physically underground
samantha.sterling: like the mole people
4:39 PM me: gradually, it came to me that the empire would be "underground" in the other context
which is to say, secret
like some cool band that no one knows about
HIPSTER EMPIRE
anyway
the ultimate goal is to create a self-perpetuating entity
4:40 PM that will advance my various ideas
Project PM, in this case
in a few months, it won't even require me
samantha.sterling: so ideally, you'd like to continue writing, or get to the point where you don't have to do anything?
4:41 PM me: both, ideally
samantha.sterling: of course
me: I don't want to have to write anything just for money
and want to be free to pursue purely abstract philosophy, or partially absract
4:42 PM systems that can't be contradicted because they make no positive claims
Caleb: I'm so much the smarter for having wasted an hour of life listening to you and some faggu blather back and forth to each other about your mutual love for cocks.
Well done.
I'm going to Twitter this to all my Twitter friends.
lol
samantha.sterling: i think you should. caleb has some wonderful things to say
4:43 PM he should have his own show. about what, i'm not entirely sure
me: no, that's him talking about twittering
he'll have one eventually
he's producing them now
samantha.sterling: oh he's going to twitter it. makes more sense.
i don't fucking twitter
me: he's just kidding, he doesn't have twitter
4:44 PM samantha.sterling: i refuse.
me: you are noble
samantha.sterling: sometimes
me: Barrett Brown can write the Lord’s Prayer on the head of a pin.
4:45 PM Barrett, you have no leg to stand on. Besides being full of pompous vitriol and yes, hate, you write like a 12-year old. You should be embarrassed.
Well, serr8ed said that BB was a hateful secularist who was banned from PW. That’s at least half wrong, depending on who you ask.
samantha.sterling: you don't write like a 12 year old
me: these are all from this conservative blog comments section this afternoon
4:46 PM they collaborate on attacking me across the damned internet
samantha.sterling: you started it
me: Comment by bh on 3/26 @ 11:55 am #
Barrett Brown introduced crack into SoCal.
samantha.sterling: plus you like it
me: of course, it is fuel
they don't understand it
Oh, and Barrett Brown smokes joints that use Leviticus 18:22 as rolling paper.
samantha.sterling: so it WAS you who introduced crack....i thought so
4:47 PM me: I introduced it to a nice Jewish girl, lay off
samantha.sterling: haha
what does leviticus 18:22 say, btw?
me: noidea
We should call him Elizabeth, because he insists on Barrett Browning all over the place.
The first rule of Barrett Brown is “You will talk about Barrett Brown.”
ah damnit
4:48 PM now getting stage directions from a former editor
BushwickBK.com: oh man I'[m glad you realize you're hard as fuck to understand
samantha.sterling: haha
me: I'm not good on radio
plus, fuck radio
4:49 PM it's radio
samantha.sterling: i don't think your written stuff is hard to understand
he's talking about your accent?
me: no, he means my speaking patterns under anything less than optimal conditions
yes
4:50 PM samantha.sterling: ah well i can't really speak to that. i went to school in atlanta so i have a few extra more years than the average american at trying to decipher southern-speak
4:51 PM me: I have 14 tabs open
4:52 PM and I need most of them to be open
samantha.sterling: ok go deal with the other 13
i'll talk to you later
me: no, just saying
that's a lot of fucking tabs
samantha.sterling: you're a multitasking monster
4:53 PM me: reading anything right now?
samantha.sterling: yes always
right now i'm re-reading hey rube, by hunter s.
me: never even heard of that one, what is it?
4:54 PM samantha.sterling: it's a collection of his weekly sports/political columns for ESPN from 2000-2002
me: ah
4:55 PM would it be accessible or interesting to someone who hates reading about sports?
samantha.sterling: absolutely. i'm not into sports at all
4:56 PM but if you're interested in reading something by HST in general, i'd recommend something else, because this one has the most sports stuff in it, while all of his other stuff is mostly political and/or otherwise based
OH SHIT
MY LIGHTER DIED
4:57 PM me: sorry, was lighting a cigarette off the toaster
coincidentally enough, zomglol
4:58 PM samantha.sterling: fuck you i don't have a toaster
me: I've read like three of his books
or four I guess
I do
samantha.sterling: i use a foreman grill to toast things
me: fuck you I don't have a foreman grill
samantha.sterling: that's silly
me: we used to have that one thing that cooked grilled cheese sandwiches
TURNABOUT
4:59 PM samantha.sterling: that's why i got the grill
me: not sure what the terminology is on that
samantha.sterling: to make grilled cheeses
me: exactly
samantha.sterling: it also functions as my toaster. i don't use it for meat. i don't eat meat.
5:00 PM me: oh, sweet
samantha.sterling: anyway, all his books are great. they're turning his fiction, the rum diary, into a movie starring johnny depp due out this year
me: not regarding your vegetarianism
that's neutral
samantha.sterling: don't worry, i'm not militant about it. i don't care what other people eat
5:01 PM me: recruited another one
this one was was Chief of Security (an oxymoron?) at the Bertelsmann relaunch of Napster (turning Napster into an "honest service.")
5:02 PM So, I've worked with the DoJ on DMCA wars before, and given presentations at DefCon on that subject, along with freedom of information speaking engagements, so I think I see where you may be going with this, barrettbrown.
samantha.sterling: impressive
me: I read rum diary
liked that
obviously an aberration relative to his other works
5:03 PM samantha.sterling: yeah it didn't do so well...
but i liked it
me: what a fine HST he made
samantha.sterling: you saw fear and loathing i'm assuming?
me: much better than Bill Murray
5:04 PM oh, dozens of times
my friend John Ruiz, who's from San Antonio barrio, is obsessed with Dr. Gonzo
samantha.sterling: haha
me: and acts like him
it's kind of weird when we hang out
samantha.sterling: does he know he's based on a real person
5:05 PM me: of course
he's read Revolt of the Cockroach People and all that
samantha.sterling: then i guess it's legit
me: oh, it's legit
5:06 PM he's not a thug or any such, he was the smart guy who left the barrio instead of having 3 babies immediately and selling yea-o to construction workers
samantha.sterling: good for him
5:08 PM me: his uncle was in the eme, we shipped weed from SA to Austin for him briefly until he went back to federal prison
when I first met him
we hung out in their front yard
and he had this really nice truck
and he pulled out a remote control
for his car stereo
samantha.sterling: i like where this is going
5:09 PM me: and I laughed my ass off because that's an extraordinarily new money Mexican drug dealer thing to do
not going anywhere, unfortunately
5:10 PM samantha.sterling: i thought it was going to end up that the remote actually controlled a secret compartment which held 100 lbs of marijuana
me: nah, but I'll tell it that way next time
all that actually happened was that we drove a bunch of marijuana to Austin and listened to prodigy while on some sort of speed pill I can't recall
5:11 PM and we made some money
samantha.sterling: that's pretty good too. i guess i'm just not familiar with the ways of the new money mexicans
me: yeah, none of them come up here
5:12 PM these are different Mexicans
samantha.sterling: totally different
me: scrubbish
totally not hip to the hep
samantha.sterling: haha
is the mexican food better here or in texas?
me: ...
...
...
...
...
5:13 PM Texas
samantha.sterling: i guess that was a stupid questions
me: that's okay, you're pretty
samantha.sterling: no excuse
but thatnks
thanks
5:14 PM i just thought that since there are mexicans here the food might be comparable
me: Dallas invented Tex-Mex
samantha.sterling: yeah yeah
me: and when I was starting out I wrote for America Online back when they were planning on having all of the content in the world
5:15 PM and had merged with Time-Warner and started sucking up their resourcs
so I got paid $20 each for every little 100-word write-up
many assigned, many not
I have written about perhaps 150 Tex-Me and Mexican restaurants
5:16 PM and was obligated to make them each sound different
samantha.sterling: how is that possible?
me: whereas they only differ so much
it was the early 21st century, you se
anything was possible
5:17 PM samantha.sterling: oh, the glory days
me: also wrote about women's shoe stores, bars, museums, fucking statues
samantha.sterling: money is money
and who doesn't like women's shoe stores, anyway
me: ah ha
5:18 PM sorry, was no reason to write an exclamation really
just received another useful e-mail
my mind is kind of foggy
samantha.sterling: i figured one of the other tabs caused the ah ha
5:19 PM me: no, the tabs are all web pages
I've got five chats open but they are all gradual chats
samantha.sterling: for some reason, i can't really imagine a gradual chat with you
5:20 PM me: probably because I'm constantly talking about mysefl
samantha.sterling: regardless
it's refreshing to talk to someone who always has something to say
5:21 PM not too many people are busy taking down the enemy and whatnot
me: true that
5:22 PM I'm particularly happy about commanding everyone at Daily Kos to call up various House and Senate intelligence committee members and demand that they address the Wikileaks raid
samantha.sterling: do you think they actually will address it?
5:23 PM me: they were probably getting tired of calls about health care being a tool of the antichrist anyway
depends
I'm not done yet
samantha.sterling: i'm gonna go search for a new lighter. be back in a bit
me: word
5:49 PM samantha.sterling: after searching my entire apt, i finally gave up and went out and bought a new one. i feel pretty defeated
5:53 PM me: yeah, that's a reasonable response
what with the defeat
samantha.sterling: yeah
i really thought i had another one, a purple one, somewhere
5:54 PM i hate buying lighters. i don't know why. i just do.
they should come free withe the cigarettes
me: we have a serious problem maintaining access to fire making devices over here
5:55 PM samantha.sterling: it's just the two of you and the felines living there, right?
me: yep
samantha.sterling: i think the cats hide them from you
me: these are temporary quarters till we move to manhattan
just one cat and one dog
and the cat is a fucking neurotic freak
anyway, I needed a place fast
5:56 PM as my last place
I had accumulated three fucking guys who couldn't pay their rent
and who were always crying and fighting
samantha.sterling: crying and fighting? maybe they were taking steroids?
5:57 PM me: I had to pay for the whole apartment for like two months
no
one was just an idiot DJ who moved in and promptly lost his job at a BBQ restaurant and spent next couple months pursuing his DJ dreams on my dime
5:58 PM another is friend of a friend who was worse of a junkie than I ever was and who was going through a divorce and who used to work in porn and who just sucked
samantha.sterling: wow
me: and was crying a lot
third was this unbelievable fucking 40 year old editor from Australia
5:59 PM who runs a site called Scallywag and Vagabond
samantha.sterling: hahahahaha
me: which I lack the willpower to even being to describe
samantha.sterling: undertandable
my typing is horrendous today, apologies
me: but who constantly smoked crack and listen to fucking Euro-faggot techno
6:00 PM samantha.sterling: you have an amazing ability to meet shall we say, bizarre characters
me: (I like Daft Punk and Prodigy but this stuff was different)
yeah
also there was other shit going on
6:01 PM I had gotten too tied in with the neighbrhoof
6:02 PM so pulled the plug on that scene and found a sublet one-bedroom with Mirna until we can get a more permanent place
I live in the den
like a cat
samantha.sterling: where are you guys looking to move?
where in the city, i mean?
me: lower east side
Mirna's in charge of that, though
6:03 PM samantha.sterling: ah
i live in the east village
me: ah-so
got roommates?
samantha.sterling: just mickey. he's the cat.
me: very well
samantha.sterling: he only pays minimal rent
6:04 PM and no utilities
me: I bet he pays the cutie bills
I BET HE DOES
samantha.sterling: he doe
s
me: i love cats
samantha.sterling: he doesn't know he's a cat
me: right
6:05 PM samantha.sterling: i've actually trained him to do a number of un-catlike things
he can sit, give you a high five, come on command, speak, lie down, etc etc
i also take him on short walks in the building
me: wow
that's pretty impressive
6:06 PM when I was a kid
samantha.sterling: yeah, he's really food motivated. i've trained dogs and seals in the past, so i figured, what the hell, let's see what a cat can do
me: it was just me and the cat after school till my mom got home and of course al ll day during summer
and this cat would go on one side of a doorway out of view
6:07 PM and start meowing as if it were distressed
and I would go through the doorway
AND THEN IT WOULD JUMP AT ME AND CLAW MY LEG AND RUN OFF
samantha.sterling: yeah that's a cat for you
mick doesn't do anything like that
i tried to get him interested in string and cat toys and stuff, and he looked at me like i was insane
6:09 PM me: those are hit and miss
we have a cat castle thing in our den here
which doubles as a second desk
plus like 50 stuffed animals for the fucking dog
samantha.sterling: what kind of dog is it?
6:10 PM me: half chihuaha, half something less irritating
samantha.sterling: cute?
me: yeah
samantha.sterling: intelligent?
me: nope
samantha.sterling: haha
6:11 PM at least it's cute
it's housetrained though, right
6:12 PM me: yeah, and I walk it all the time anyway
samantha.sterling: good excuse to get some fresh air
me: OH ABSOLUTELY
lol
6:13 PM holy fuck
samantha.sterling: what
me: s. korea sub may have been sunk by n. korea sub
samantha.sterling: may have been
me: hmmm
samantha.sterling: and even if it was, it could have been an "accident"
6:14 PM me: yeah, headline was misleadinf
samantha.sterling: it seems doubtful
6:17 PM i'm gonna go have dinner and take a shower. talk to you later
6:18 PM me: word
have fun