Subject: Chat with samantha.sterling@gmail.com
From: "samantha.sterling@gmail.com" <samantha.sterling@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

5:31 PM samantha.sterling: how do either of you ever get any work done?
5:32 PM me: well, my work often consists of making fun of media people
  and I only need to spend so much time doing actual work anyway
  plus, this counts as work
 samantha.sterling: ah yes
5:33 PM me: insomuch as that I'm just waiting for someone at that station to say something particularly stupid so that I can pounce on it
 samantha.sterling: "i think she's a hooker, that's why."
  FANTASTIC
5:34 PM me: trouble in paradise
  maybe she needs to spend less time talking nonsense and more time throwing the hookers out of her house
 samantha.sterling: seems reasonable
 me: or whatever
  I'm not her boss
 samantha.sterling: lucky for you
5:35 PM i don't think i'd want to work with her
 me: I would, as I own a digital voice recorder
 samantha.sterling: hahaha
  now, if i understand this correctly, the health bill will not pay for all the abortions i planned on getting?
 me: no, but that's what boyfriends are for
5:36 PM samantha.sterling: yeah but a trick isn't exactly a boyfriend
 me: or cuckolded husbands
  he is if you blackmail him
  with a digital voice recorder
 samantha.sterling: oooh good point
 me: DIGITAL VOICE RECORDER
 samantha.sterling: yes yes
  i see, i must get one of those
5:37 PM me: what are you doing later this week?
 samantha.sterling: on which day precisely?
  i do different stuff everyday
 me: hadn't thought about that
  Thursday?
5:38 PM samantha.sterling: thursday i'm doing a yoga class in the early evening, volunteering in the later evening
 me: Friday?
  check out this toy fascist douchebaggery
 samantha.sterling: friday i'm volunteering in the afternoon, no plans for the evening yet
 me: http://trueslant.com/barrettbrown/2010/03/23/response-to-pro-putin-commentator-mark-adomanis-regarding-my-post-on-russian-protests/
5:39 PM samantha.sterling: k i'll read it
  brb
5:40 PM would also love a magical genie to appear before me and bring me a big pipe filled with opium and to play for me songs of heartbreaking beauty plucked from the deepest depths of Near East antiquity, and to do so on a harp made of stardust and dreams.
  me
  too
 me: I guess we could go halves on one
5:41 PM samantha.sterling: why not
  what's your opium obsession about?
 me: it's a colorful concept
5:42 PM also I used to do a lot of opiates
 samantha.sterling: as did i
  by the way, i did read about the protests
  they were newsworthy for sure
5:43 PM me: yes, but little Eastern Orthodox Putin Loving Douchebag Fellow doesn't think so because they were targeted at his precious, precious man who gives him the feeling of national strength
 samantha.sterling: haha
5:44 PM you're quite unusual, you know that
 me: NO
  I mean tee hee blush ^_____^
 samantha.sterling: oh jesus let's not get all silly now
  :)
5:45 PM me: BUT MY DARLING I WAS BEING SERIOUS
  ^_______________________^
 samantha.sterling: texans make no sense
 me: that's what the little Japanese girls do
  I am not very endemic of Texan culture
5:46 PM samantha.sterling: what about the damn cowboy boots?!
 me: except for that
  and the rifles
 samantha.sterling: haha
 me: and contempt for the northeast
 samantha.sterling: yes lest we forget the rifles and the yankee contempt
 me: lest indeed
  how was lunch?
5:47 PM samantha.sterling: you know, lunchy. mom's at a meeting with her financial advisor, which gives me a short reprieve.
 me: where are you from?
 samantha.sterling: connecticut
 me: me too!
 samantha.sterling: you wish
 me: yes
  every day
 samantha.sterling: doesn't everyone?
5:48 PM it's clearly the only respectable place to be from
 me: people in Somalia, probably
 samantha.sterling: ouch
 me: oh snap
 samantha.sterling: i don't think i like you anymore
 me: you never liked me
  you just enjoy gchat
 samantha.sterling: hahaha
  actually
  i hate gchat
5:49 PM which is why i usually hide
  so people can't annoy me with their conversations
 me: you are a victim
 samantha.sterling: i am NOT a victim
 me: you should get a rifle
  and some boots
5:50 PM samantha.sterling: i have boots. they just aren't cowboy boots
 me: I assumed you did
  I'm going to switch locations and go to my friend's place, talk to you later
5:51 PM samantha.sterling: enjoy
  bye