Subject: Chat with Catalina Saldaña
From: "Catalina Saldaña" <cat.salda@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

Catalina: hey
Catalina: im finally in my office
Catalina: you should come over
me: sure, what time?
Catalina: i dont know
Catalina: 8?
Catalina: 9?
Catalina: i dont have a dime though
Catalina: its sad
Catalina: apparently these loan people took part of my paycheck
Catalina: should be illegal
Catalina: haha, someone just tagged a pic of me in facebook, i was a very sad looking kid
Catalina: i bet i was depressed
me: sorry, was on the phone
me: apparently I'm meeting with the True/Slant execs next week about Project 3Jane
me: they've got tons of money, too
me: I suppose this will interfere with my aborted career as a kitchen worker
me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
me: MY POWER GROWS DAY BY DAY, ETC
Catalina: what power?
me: steam
me: I mean
me: MEDIA POWER
Catalina: oh
me: no, wait, it was steam
Catalina: speaking of media power are you still working with your ex roommate
Catalina: the super important public figure?
me: who, Chris?
me: no fucking way
me: I gave up on that, it's a fucking train wreck. I was hoping I could turn that thing around but the guy is absolutely hopeless
Catalina: i liked that when he said that, Rob told him he sounded like an asshole
me: yep, the guy talks a great deal of nonsense
Catalina: speaking of.. i dont have robs number anymore
Catalina: but he seemed cool
Catalina: we should hang out
me: he'd had five publicists quit on him in the past couple months
Catalina: but i will only hang out with him if you are there also
me: sure, we can do that
me: Nelson owes him like $200
me: was supposed to get him crack and then disappeared, won't return my calls
me: we could use you as bait to trap him
Catalina: sure
Catalina: i wish i had known money was going to be taken out of my paycheck
Catalina: i would have spent more wisely
me: yeah, what's up with that?
Catalina: i didnt know that when you dont pay your student loand they can garnish your wages
Catalina: i think thats what they called it
me: holy shit
me: that's rough
me: how much monies you owe altogether?
Catalina: a lot
Catalina: thousands
Catalina: a lot of good school did me
Catalina: i am barely literate
Catalina: i need to find a way to steal some money
me: crime, perhaps?
me: maybe that's too broad
me: you could be the Cutie Bandit
me: rob banks and be all cute about it
me: then rap about your bank robberies
me: or just rap
me: about how you wake up in the morning and eat brunch in Miami and then pick out the right clothes for about an hour and then you go to a party and how boys call you when they feel freaky hot and also you are rich
me: and own many cute pieces of apparel
Catalina: maybe ill be different
Catalina: how about i rap about how i spent all my money on a bikini wax
Catalina: because i thought i had more
Catalina: but it turned out i didnt
Catalina: because loan people took it out of my paycheck
Catalina: and now i can't buy the stupid magazines i told the old man id buy for him
Catalina: or get drugs
Catalina: which is what i really want
me: magazines?
me: well, I've got you covered on drugs
Catalina: the stupid wired uk
me: the one with his profile?
Catalina: i sent you the link
Catalina: but i bet you didnt lok at it
me: yeah, I saw it
Catalina: look
me: why do you say that?
Catalina: yeah he asked me to buy some for him
Catalina: i dont know
Catalina: because it might be boring
me: I thought his work was pretty interesting, actually
Catalina: i didnt like parts of the article
Catalina: i liked the end
Catalina: not the beginning
me: why?
Catalina: i hated the stuff about Ziva and the Research assistants getting a contact high
Catalina: it was stupid
me: not relevant?
Catalina: no it wasnt relevant
Catalina: and i wasnt sure people who dont work here would get that it was a joke
Catalina: carl loved the title though
Catalina: he didnt care about the rest because he was happy with the title
me: well, it's good that he was happy
me: actually, titles can be pretty important
me: particularly with profile pieces
me: as even people who don't read them will see the title and take something from that
me: occasionally a profile piece will end up being negative when the subject expected otherwise
me: and the title will be all like "EVIL DEATH PERSON WHO IS WRONG"
me: or something more subtle
me: fucking editor
me: I write in my book, accurately, that Arafat died of "health complications"
me: and I get the manuscript back today
me: with notes and edits and whatnot
me: Additionally, there is still some debate on what exactly killed him. There’s speculation that he died of something AIDS related, he was poisoned, and a myriad of other things. Are you prepared to make such a definitive claim with widespread contradictory evidence? The major ideas here are just fine.
me: so
me: this doesn't contradict my pretty broad and obvious conclusion that he died of "health complications"
me: a term I use exactly because there may have been several contributing factors
Catalina: im sure you explained this to him?
me: yeah, I'm doing so in my edit right now, we use Word's track changes feature to explain all changes back-and-forth
Catalina: hey
Catalina: i have to go
me: okay
Catalina: ok
Catalina: ill call you when i get home
Catalina: then you can come over
me: word