Subject: Chat with Catalina Saldaña
From: "Catalina Saldaña" <cat.salda@gmail.com>
To: barriticus@gmail.com

me: yo yo
me: sorry I couldn't make it on Friday, turned out to be infeasible
Catalina: its ok
Catalina: doesnt matter
Catalina: for the best im sure
Catalina: was having a drama filled night anyway
Catalina: how was your weekend?
me: pretty wholesome
me: did honest work on Friday night
me: kind of enjoyed it
Catalina: make good moenys?
Catalina: moneys
me: like $100
Catalina: not bad
me: mostly was doing it because Straub went awol and Miriam had given him the gig as a favor to me
me: also
me: there's this guy named Luke
me: who's kind of a pseudointellectual douchebag artist type, went to Pratt and whatnot
me: I don't know him well, but he's friends with a bunch of my friends
me: and he's apparently decided that we're enemies
me: it's a long, hilarious story, I'll tell you over the phone some time
me: what was your drama?
me: old man related?
Catalina: you make so many enemies
Catalina: sorta
Catalina: old woman related
Catalina: bitch called my parents
Catalina: basically told them i broke up her family
me: holy shit
me: you should retaliate with extreme prejudice
me: or not
Catalina: should i call her kids?
me: well
me: I don't know the woman
Catalina: im joking
me: that makes more sense
me: anything else interesting happen?
Catalina: she told them that shes trying to make things work with her husband and keep her family together because of the children!
Catalina: the children!
Catalina: wont anyone think of the children??
me: the husband who just moved out, eh?
Catalina: i hate kids
me: I thought of them, briefly
Catalina: i am actively not thinking about the,
me: why? kids are swell
Catalina: nothing else interesting
Catalina: i dont hate them
me: you can indoctrinate them
Catalina: these kids are just annoying
me: I can, rather
Catalina: this specific pair is annoying me
Catalina: well then you should
Catalina: ill give you these 2 kids for some bags of skag?
me: can I snort the kids?
Catalina: sure but you might get arrested for that
me: right, that's like two different crimes
Catalina: yeah
me: so, I've now learned of Ale$ha
me: or something like that
Catalina: ive seen a name witn an A and a $
Catalina: somewhere
Catalina: is she any good?
me: she's kind of like uffie
Catalina: no uffie im sure
me: raps about brunch and going out and drinking someone's liquor, etc
me: uffie's no uffie
Catalina: haha
Catalina: thats funny
Catalina: i should learn to rap
me: oh, yeah
Catalina: you can do the beats
me: that's a good idea
me: come up with some lyrics about how guys call you when they feel freaky hot
me: FREAKY HOT
me: also, your great wealth
Catalina: no we need something more original
Catalina: im much older than these girls im sure
me: your moderate wealth, then
me: we'll keep that a secret, you're 17
me: I had to go back to park street today to pick up the clothes I left with that Gracie woman who was over last time you came by
me: so I bought some crack for old time's sake
Catalina: no skag?
me: now I'm going to smoke the rest
me: I bought two bags and shot them up
me: first time since like Monday
me: I've got to keep off the stuff
me: couldn't work without it
Catalina: yeah
me: can't afford to be on it enough to work enough
Catalina: i guess i should too
Catalina: i need to get my benzo prescription
me: I'd feel pretty bad if you ended up having to go through what I did in terms of withdrawal
me: so, yeah, you should refrain while you're still ahead
me: it's difficult as hell to get off even a light to moderate habit
Catalina: i think i wouldnt miss it so much if my life werent so shitty
Catalina: also if i could drink
Catalina: but im pretty sure i have an ulcer
me: can't drink?
me: christ
Catalina: ive been trying to
Catalina: but it hurts so much
me: maybe you should get that checked out
Catalina: yeah maybe
Catalina: hows your health?
me: you're pretty stressed out a bunch, aren't you?
Catalina: mirna taking good care of you?
me: I'm perfectly healthy, actually
Catalina: really?
Catalina: you dont look it
Catalina: kidding
me: well, I didn't look i
me: it
Catalina: you look lovely
Catalina: always have
Catalina: picture of health
me: you can't see my lungs, though
me: seriously, you need to do something about your stress levels or something
Catalina: i just get easily stressed i guess
Catalina: i need benzos!
Catalina: or h
me: you probably do
me: so, did old man react to his wife's calling your parents?
Catalina: i dont know
Catalina: he was mad at me because i hit the side mirror of his bmw with my bag
Catalina: on purpose
Catalina: unfortunately i didnt break it
me: very well
Catalina: i tried
me: jesus christ
Catalina: i know
Catalina: its sad
me: you guys are nuts
Catalina: if only i had broken it
Catalina: id be satisfied
Catalina: he brings out my nutty side
me: I guess so, I've never seen it
Catalina: other than that im usually really laid back in my relationships with people
Catalina: yeah he just called and i guess hes coming over to "talk"
Catalina: ugh
Catalina: i should call his mother
Catalina: then he can call his wifes mother
Catalina: itll be a cirlce of crazy
me: lol
me: we need more of those
Catalina: im writing this stupid essay thing
Catalina: im stuck
Catalina: on the first line
me: what about?
Catalina: some crap about biggest challenge i expect as a teacher
Catalina: the biggest challenge i expect is refraining from killing one of those little bastards
Catalina: i am much meaner and more bitter on gchat than i am in person i think
me: so, you're going to die of an ulcer, then
Catalina: mabe i need to stay away from gchat
me: yeah, gchat seems to infuriate you
Catalina: x-(
Catalina: aww. thats so cute!
me: kawaii desu! ^__________^
me: I've got to somehow break off from Miriam ASAP
me: I spent two nights in a row with her and now she wants me to come over tomorrow night
me: and I don't like her all that much
Catalina: oh no
me: oh, and here comes fucking Valentine's day
Catalina: oh god
Catalina: what are you getting her?
Catalina: you practically have a girlfriend!
me: I'm not getting her anything
me: you and the old man have any romantic domestic violence planned for the 14th?
Catalina: no
Catalina: hell be in SF with the 14 yr old kid
Catalina: i dont do valentines day anyway
Catalina: never have never will
Catalina: except for that one year when larry gave me a big bottle of grey goose
Catalina: it was great
Catalina: very romantic!
Catalina: and im not being sarcastic
me: yesterday I saw this t-shirt they're selling at a Mexican restaurant. Says Instructor de Sexo.
me: it's even funnier in Spanish than English
me: I didn't know the word "sexo" existed
Catalina: hah
Catalina: it does
Catalina: and it sounds dirtier in spanish than in english
Catalina: ok gotta go break a bmw somehow
me: have fun
Catalina: ill take a stapler with me and throw it at a window maybe
Catalina: i will
Catalina: bye
me: godspeed, noble warrior