So, I'm seeing this Miriam chick, who's been friends with Luke Fuller (guy who took you to gun show, Josh's friend) for a while. This is an e-mail he sent to her a year back when he was mad at her. He's since recanted and they're friends again. But this is up there with your Nightrider and MysteryMan01 e-mails from high school. It is my greatest possession. Azusa is his girlfriend.
Miriam, we've known each other for a long time...over 10 years. After everything that's happened recently, I've come to the conclusion that we'd be better off not keeping up this pretense of friendship anymore. That might sound dramatic, but I mean it with the simplest logic and actually feel very at peace with it. You say you love me so much as a friend, but we've never actually been close, despite some circumstantial weirdness. And although we've had a lot of exposure to each other in the past year and a half, it hasn't served to bring you any closer to my heart. I've always had reservations about you. I was never truly comfortable around you.
I'm just saying all this because I feel such a strong sense of finality in my reasoning. In your mind, you see yourself as a generous and loving friend...but, just to give a couple of examples, the way you blew up at me recently for the David Ormes situation and, more ridiculously, last night for the Facebook picture tagging situation, I just think you're extremely unstable and not really a true friend. It's all in your head. The reality is that you're a loose cannon, unbelievably self-centered, and totally reckless with other people. This is not the kind of person I'd ever willingly make my friend. People that have these characteristics, if they're in my life, are more likely people I either avoid or have a hard time getting rid of.
Your behavior toward me recently is beyond offensive. Any sane person who either witnessed you in that restaurant screaming at me, or read the nasty text messages you sent last night, would wonder why in the hell I was in this bizarre, abrasive, one-sided relationship. And, somehow, I came to this realization myself with those text messages. I've been pissed at you before, but that really just sent me over the edge. I tagged a couple of pictures with you...standing by a wall with me? What exactly was so offensive? It's not like I tagged you snorting a line of coke. I didn't know about your preferences for being tagged, and no one on planet earth would have assumed that the photos I tagged would be considered offensive material. You're just standing next to me smoking a cigarette. Big deal. If you didn't want those pictures tagged, you should have just sent a simple, "Hey, Luke, I don't like those pictures of me and I don't want my work to see them...would you mind untagging me? Thanks." Instead, you attacked me with the arrogance of a fucking dictator. The hostility in your texts was disarmingly self-centered. Calling me at 3 AM and sending several hateful texts over posting a couple of benign pictures of you standing next to me smoking a cigarette? That's not friendship. That's the kind of situation someone endures when they're "friends" with a fucking nutjob.
Aside from those examples, I've always hated the way you try to turn every situation into "your situation" whether by insisting on some particular place to eat, insisting on staying out for a nightcap, or INSISTING on whatever. I think you're a spoiled brat. You don't like being told no, in even the most superficial situations. You only care about one thing...pleasing yourself. Your own pleasure is the only thing that means a goddamn thing to you in this life. That's why you're so inflexible to other peoples' plans. You can't bear to be in any situation that isn't EXACTLY what you want. You don't see things from other peoples' perspectives in even the slightest way. You deal with people based on patterns...'this person likes this, this person likes this, and whenever we hang out we'll be doing this." It's pathetic. Learn to be a little more open to reality. It's also extremely offensive, because it forces whoever's with you to adhere to some specific thing you want to do. You think I'm a benign and passive presence, but you know, that's probably only because when I'm around you I tend you feel hopeless, like, "what's the point?" The truth is, you've mostly seen me in my most closed-off state because I find your behavior so revolting that it makes me want to be somewhere else in my mind.
You can hang out with Azusa, I don't care, you guys can go out and drink and be annoying to the world, but whatever you guys do will be separate from me. I consider you to be a bad influence on her, and I always end up getting the most irritated with her when she's around you because you bring out her worst qualities. You know why? Because you're an extremely negative person. So, in that sense, it's best if you guys hang out without me.
Don't bother contacting me over this, or trying to have a coversation with me, reasoning this out. There's just no point in it. Our friendship is over, and that's a truly permanent thing. It's permanent because I've gotten to know you over the years and I know your character very well, and I just don't want to have anything more to do with you. This is not just based on you pissing me off once and me getting mad about it. This is a very deep thing that's based on years of seeing repeated behavior patterns and repeat offenses. So, whatever you used to consider me, consider it differently now. I hope you can accept this and not harass me about it, and not hassle Azusa about it.