me: ah, this southern nationalist confederate douchebag fellow has finally gotten around to beginning the debate to which he challenged me like two weeks ago me: which is good, because I haven't gotten to argue with anyone for about a week and a half me: you don't know good you have it, being in a relationship with some guy with whom you're always arguing me: I had to write a whole fucking book several years ago in order to get Professor William Dembski to argue with me me: whereas you can argue with a professor whenever you'd like me: CHERISH THESE MOMENTS me: oh, snap me: Vanity Fair wants me to write a manifesto me: AHAHAHAHHAHA VICTORY me: now they just want me to write about me and Charles Johnson and Stacy McCain and everything that's gone down over the past few months me: let's see, what other self-indulgent things can I write into your little gchat box... Catalina: im back! Catalina: gonna read that stuff now Catalina: omg! Catalina: this guy died Catalina: that worked here Catalina: i always made fun of him me: you killed him Catalina: because he reminded me of Milton from office space Catalina: no Catalina: he was hit by a car Catalina: everyone knows i dont drive me: yeah, but you conjure cars into existence through your web of lies Catalina: probab;y me: maybe he was hit by my imaginary car Catalina: probably so me: when I was taking you to Mexico me: from the airport Catalina: i wish we would do that Catalina: i didnt see that girl by the way me: I guess that probably didn't actually happen Catalina: the night i was over there me: they'd left way before you arrived me: funny story Catalina: whats funny? me: Ava (not Aida) was very upset me: because the brokers arrived and started asking me to get them crack in front of everyone me: also heroin me: and Ava saw my needle on top of my desk thingy me: she told me she cried when she got home Catalina: why? me: CRIED Catalina: that sounds idiotic me: because she heard a reference to drugs and her precious little eyes saw my needle Catalina: how could you hurt her so?? me: I feed off of the pain of other me: people me: apparently me: anyway, I wrote her a very apologetic e-mail me: stupid bitch me: I had given her this other gig me: to produce the 30-second spot for the political action committee me: for $100 me: like, two months ago me: she still hadn't finished it by the December 5th deadline me: and after being subjected to all of these Dickensian horrors at my apartment me: she said she could no longer do that project me: thus delaying the massive promotional campaign that I'd been planning, as I have to have this other, superior guy do it instead now me: which is probably for the best me: at any rate, she was upset about the "unprofessionalism" of the meeting me: to which she arrived 3 hours late, incidentally me: anywho Catalina: you want me to kick her ass Catalina: ? me: PLEASE DO IT SHE HURT ME SO me: it would be sexy. I like to be taken care of, to feel safe. me: I need a man who can protect me me: I mean, a 100-pound girl me: instead of man me: so, the guy died me: how do you feel about that? Catalina: which guy? Sam? me: do you feel empty? Catalina: i feel sad Catalina: no me: whoever got killed by my metaphysical car me: WHOMEVER, rather Catalina: at first i thought he died because there was something wrong with him Catalina: and i didnt feel so bad Catalina: i mean he was hunched and was just kind of weird and slow Catalina: so i thought something was going on healthwise Catalina: but then i found out he was hit by a car on his way home from work and was in the hospital for several days before he died Catalina: thats sad me: yep me: on the other hand me: his horrid life is over me: imagine how terrible it would be to live life as an ugly, weird person Catalina: i am an ugly weird person Catalina: mostly on the inside though me: one can be successful, attractive, engage in all sorts of amazing romances, yet still be terribly depressed me: OH NO YOU'RE NOT CATALINA DON'T SAY THAT YOU'RE A WONDERFUL PERSON Catalina: that is a blatant lie me: you're a blatant lie Catalina: now i will never be able to believe anything you say me: snap Catalina: anything at all me: when I say it in caps it's because I would be doing a funny voice if I were with you in person me: which itself entails that it may or may not be true Catalina: ok me: insomuch as that funny voices are intended to signify some sort of high-concept thing me: thing me: thing Catalina: there is supposed to be some article about the professor i always argue with in the latest wired me: this faggot keeps spelling my name wrong Catalina: thing is a good word me: well done, Wired is a fine pub me: I'm still going to outdo him, but good for him nonetheless me: you should read Neuromancer, by the way me: speaking of Wired me: also, you should read that paper on orality and the Greeks that I sent you a while back Catalina: ok i will me: actually, I should be writing this Vanity Fair piece on how great I am instead of bragging to you about how great I am since the editor wants it by morning so we can scoop the NYT me: so I guess this is goodbye me: FOREVER Catalina: why dont you just publish this gchat? Catalina: send them this gchat? me: sure, then you can send it to your boyfriend Catalina: what boyfriend? Catalina: he dumped me yesterday Catalina: not kidding me: well me: When I bet me: I bet on break-ups not actually working me: like, you guys broke up a couple weeks ago, as I recall Catalina: oh i know me: and then that didn't quite take Catalina: its kind of funny me: and then there was that one time Catalina: but i think it makes him feel better me: when I broke up with Jen Catalina: true me: and then Jen kept coming over me: and then I "cheated" on her me: my ex-girlfriend me: and she got upset Catalina: hows miriam by the way? me: as I recall me: loony me: she came by the other day me: drew pictures of me me: gave me pills me: again Catalina: that sounds lovely me: hopefully me: I won't have to continue this me: I was thinking I might need a job job job type job me: which she could get me me: but I think I've figured out a way to avoid that Catalina: good me: yeah Catalina: so you wont be working in that kitchen? me: I'll be damned if I'm going to go out and work at a fucking job just because Andy and Scott are fucking crying children with no money me: nah me: I'm not going to do that me: basically me: this Vanity Fair thing that's going down me: is going to save my ass me: plus I've got a couple of other tricks up my sleeve me: they want me to write a piece tonight me: so that we can scoop the NYT me: which is going to be running an article this weekend about Charles Johnson and McCain and possibly me to some small extent me: but they're working off an interview they did a month and a half ago me: whereas I interviewed Johnson just a few days ago me: and am directly involved in the conflict me: and thus able to provide more info on the subject, particularly since the NYT doesn't have as much info as I do regarding all of this me: and can't cover blogs worth a damn me: so, Mike Hogan wants me to do a piece explaining what's gone down, how I'm involved, and this big project that I'm planning with Johnson by which we hope to pressure the NYT and Washington Post and other outlets to fire their big columnists Catalina: that sounds promising me: for all the nonsense that I've spelled out in my new book and some other recent articles me: IT'S ALL A RICH TAPESTRY me: anyway, it's hard to explain, I'll show you the article later me: so I'm going to write that now me: you should give me a call this evening me: so that I may hear your lovely voice and otherwise delight in your femininity me: as there's plenty of femininity around here already, but it's the kind one gets from unemployed, crying men me: which is disturbing me: that's enough sexual harassment for now, I'm satisfied me: keep it real, playa Catalina: ok Catalina: ill call you later Catalina: bye