Regarding the website, I'm not at all happy with the content that exists thus far, as I've mentioned to you, and am hoping to develop things such that Chris is engaged in the business/networking end of things so that I can take firmer control of the output and turn the whole thing into something more worthwhile now that I have time to do so; if I did not think this was viable, I would not be bothering with it. Chris is a necessary component insomuch as that it is his website, of course. Obviously I'd prefer it if he were not something of a pseudo-intellectual, but he has a certain skill set that can ultimately contribute to something important which would fit in with what I'm trying to do in the long term. Basically, I have reasons for doing what I'm doing, although I do appreciate your advice.
I did not say that I consider it normal to be addicted to a hard drug; I said that one eventually tends to think of it as normal, just as anyone thinks of their activities as normal once the novelty wears off. The people with whom I associate don't tend to be offended by things that I do which only effect me, even if they'd prefer that I not do them out of concern for my future, so I forget that others find this sort of thing to be threatening or emotionally jarring.
I'm not sure what there is for Tesla and I to discuss since we seem to have established that you have a low opinion of me and would prefer not to work with me on any projects, but I'd be happy to talk to her if you'd like me to do so for some reason.
On Sun, Jan 10, 2010 at 1:21 AM, Ava K. Lamb
<tooth.radish.ava.stove@gmail.com> wrote:
in my opinion, chris nor your addiction are worth working around.
your are better off without. i am not coming from a naive perspective on these tips.
they are unnecessary items.
I didnt just see the syringes. they were being passed around in the middle of a discussion of grammar that was never completed.. that business was definately placed above the business i was there for. it is about priorities. im not sympathetic to you feeling thats normal. i dont believe you think it is. i think a death hard greiving and i have a video tesla made about her boyfriend she lost to heroin...these things dont go away with any kind of remedy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C7zHCNNElU
its really probably my most favorite video in the world.
Not to get personal.
anyway,
you will be hearing from my retarded agent, but i think you should consider cutting the dead weight.
for the sake of livlihood. because i meeting of mutual drives of development has been aborted.
not to give Advice. i think all this is obvious. as you know his sites not that good and somethign better could surpass it without much time. but my opinion is neither here nor there, i know little about web sites.
if i had brought some one with me, it would have been a disaster. you really do know better. not in a didactic sense, in a matter of fact. you do. the drugs ruined this promising business relationship. this one right here. just wanted to let you have that on your list of detriments. point that out.
anyway not to intrude. but may as well in terms of being bussiness like.
i dated a heroin attidt once too. twice actually. one had success in his life, one didnt...they all had reasons. they only get older. one was twice my age to begin with....he takes liver medication now. has a little watch that beeps when its time .
ava k
On Sat, Jan 9, 2010 at 11:56 PM, Barrett Brown
<barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
I just re-read your e-mail, having originally just scanned it, and I'd like to amplify on my apology. I had no idea that Christopher's friends would be coming over and asking for drugs, and I didn't intend to leave my own syringes out where they might be seen; unfortunately, I developed a heroin addiction a number of years ago after a girlfriend died. I often forget that what seems normal to me at this point is understandably upsetting to others, and didn't even think that by bringing you into my room to look at your article that I might be thereby subjecting you to something that might cause you any emotional stress. I absolutely understand your decision and feel terrible now at having had you come over without ensuring that the environment would be perfectly professional and safe. You're also right about Christopher's general silliness; I'm trying to work around that. Again, I'm sorry about all of that, and I hope everything works out for you. Remember to split up your longer sentences.
On Sat, Jan 9, 2010 at 11:42 PM, Ava K. Lamb
<tooth.radish.ava.stove@gmail.com> wrote:
Thanks,
apology accepted, Im sure you did not intend to offend me.
Carry on,
fortune and fortitude to you
Ava KOn Sat, Jan 9, 2010 at 11:37 PM, Barrett Brown
<barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
No problem, and I apologize for putting you in a position that upset you, which was certainly not my intention. Good luck with everything; I'm sure you'll do well in whatever it is that you pursue.
On Sat, Jan 9, 2010 at 11:25 PM, Ava K. Lamb
<tooth.radish.ava.stove@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi Barrett,
You should get the animator guy Harry to do the enlighten the vote, I think he would do a really awesome job. I feel like I should deny that project because of the following
The
meeting last night was not a comfortable environment for me. I was
hoping to feel a sense of the purpose and direction but I felt
increasingly uncomfortable. That is why I left so abruptly. Perhaps
that was obvious. It should have been.
Christopher does not inspire me as a leader. I found him
embarrassing. I dont mean to insult him unjustly. In this case my
opinion of him is relevant and not just an insult...hes the man
in charge. He probably hypothetically does know a lot though. A lot of what he said seemed ridiculous, or at least the way
he said it was. It was so hard to take seriously, I almost stopped everything at least once to ask everyone else what they heck was going on with his speeches. He was obviously
really high and sweaty, but I refuse to pardon him because of that. You seemed
semi present at the meeting, perhaps you participated earlier and I
missed it. Doesnt really matter.
The drugs seemed of highest concern at the meeting. Referring to it as
a meeting actually seems wrong. Im insulted that I would be put
in that situation although i realize it has little to do with me. I
thought you had better judgment...but thats My poor judgement...to
assign my idea of good judgment onto others.
When you described the
sequence of appearances at the meeting in the email prior to; 9semi colon0 you didnt
say anything about syringes and stockbrokers. I would not have come. It
was scary. In MY opinion. Actually, if someone was going to Design a
meeting made specifically to creep me out, the one last night would be
impressive. I actually cried when I got home.
Just for dramatic emphasis.
Window into hell, is how I described it to at least two people.
If my judgement on how to do things is held for my benefit, that is not how I would like them done. I dont want any association. I am totally fine if thats how you want to do things or CHristopher...not me. My sensitivity and the way i want things to be is not an issue considering it makes the situation incompatible. I cant join the project based on what i saw last night. My mom would not approve of me investing time into that, and my mom is a really passive person. Anyway, i think i may be Over explaining, when i expressed my point of view already. Hopfully you didnt think the meeting went well. It really didnt.
In addition, the meeting didnt have any food...unless of course it did
earlier and I missed it, in that case, So sorry I missed the catering.
Im opting out of all the projects, and doing so with emphasis. Definitely your plans have potential and I had a lot of interest, I dont doubt the truth of your plans and oppertunities...but for me I dont like the
unmanaged risk...and you know i dont suffer fools. Without specifiying who they are, I see them comiing.... so i retire before suffering ensues.
Forward???
for some, and not for others.
Truly
Ava K