Re: Bummer.
Subject: Re: Bummer.
From: Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com>
Date: 1/9/10, 23:56
To: "Ava K. Lamb" <tooth.radish.ava.stove@gmail.com>

I just re-read your e-mail, having originally just scanned it, and I'd like to amplify on my apology. I had no idea that Christopher's friends would be coming over and asking for drugs, and I didn't intend to leave my own syringes out where they might be seen; unfortunately, I developed a heroin addiction a number of years ago after a girlfriend died. I often forget that what seems normal to me at this point is understandably upsetting to others, and didn't even think that by bringing you into my room to look at your article that I might be thereby subjecting you to something that might cause you any emotional stress. I absolutely understand your decision and feel terrible now at having had you come over without ensuring that the environment would be perfectly professional and safe. You're also right about Christopher's general silliness; I'm trying to work around that. Again, I'm sorry about all of that, and I hope everything works out for you. Remember to split up your longer sentences.

On Sat, Jan 9, 2010 at 11:42 PM, Ava K. Lamb <tooth.radish.ava.stove@gmail.com> wrote:
Thanks,
apology accepted, Im sure you did not intend to offend me.
Carry on,
fortune and fortitude to you
Ava K


On Sat, Jan 9, 2010 at 11:37 PM, Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
No problem, and I apologize for putting you in a position that upset you, which was certainly not my intention. Good luck with everything; I'm sure you'll do well in whatever it is that you pursue.


On Sat, Jan 9, 2010 at 11:25 PM, Ava K. Lamb <tooth.radish.ava.stove@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi Barrett,
You should get the animator guy Harry to do the enlighten the vote, I think he would do a really awesome job. I feel like I should deny that project because of the following

The meeting last night was not a comfortable environment for me. I was hoping to feel a sense of the purpose and direction but I felt increasingly uncomfortable. That is why I left so abruptly. Perhaps that was obvious. It should have been.

Christopher does not inspire me as a leader. I found him embarrassing. I dont mean to insult him unjustly. In this case my opinion of him is relevant and not just an insult...hes the man in charge. He probably hypothetically does know a lot though. A lot of what he said seemed ridiculous, or at least the way he said it was. It was so hard to take seriously, I almost stopped everything at least once to ask everyone else what they heck was going on with his speeches.  He was obviously really high and sweaty, but I refuse to pardon him because of that. You seemed semi present at the meeting, perhaps you participated earlier and I missed it. Doesnt really matter.

 The drugs seemed of highest concern at the meeting. Referring to it as a meeting actually seems wrong.  Im insulted that I would be put in that situation although i realize it has little to do with me. I thought you had better judgment...but thats My poor judgement...to assign my idea of good judgment onto others.

When you described the sequence of appearances at the meeting in the email prior to;  9semi colon0  you didnt say anything about syringes and stockbrokers. I would not have come. It was scary. In MY opinion.  Actually, if someone was going to Design a meeting made specifically to creep me out, the one last night would be impressive. I actually cried when I got home.
Just for dramatic emphasis.
Window into hell, is how I described it to at least two people.
If my judgement on how to do things is held for my benefit, that is not how I would like them done. I dont want any association. I am totally fine if thats how you want to do things or CHristopher...not me. My sensitivity and the way i want things to be  is not an issue considering it makes the situation incompatible. I cant join the project based on what i saw last night. My mom would not approve of me investing time into that, and my mom is a really passive person. Anyway, i think i may be Over explaining, when i expressed my point of view already. Hopfully you didnt think the meeting went well. It really didnt.

In addition, the meeting didnt have any food...unless of course it did earlier and I missed it, in that case, So sorry I missed the catering.
Im opting out of all the projects, and doing so with emphasis. Definitely your plans have potential and I had a lot of interest, I dont doubt the truth of your plans and oppertunities...but for me I dont like the unmanaged risk...and you know i dont suffer fools. Without specifiying who they are, I see them comiing.... so i retire before suffering ensues.
 Forward???
for some, and not for others.
Truly
Ava K