could you give me feedback on this writing sample draft. including punctuation if you want . thanks
Subject: could you give me feedback on this writing sample draft. including punctuation if you want . thanks
From: "Ava K. Lamb" <tooth.radish.ava.stove@gmail.com>
Date: 1/6/10, 11:25
To: Barret Brown <barriticus@gmail.com>

I'm not naive on the topic of people swinging both ways. My father now lives with a man, after being married 25 years to my mother. For perspective purposes, lets call me the straight man in this scenario. Rather, for the sake of clarity, the straight woman. I am not your average Joe(sephine), but as far as orientation goes, straight. Never even made out with another woman for money at a college party...have no interest in women romantically.
My best friend, shes straight too, or so she says, and when she does, she says it in the same sentence as, "and I date women." Shes going on a date with a woman tonight, a masculine woman, but definitely a woman. She hasn't dated or hooked up with with a woman in years, I thought maybe she was over that phase, the girl on girl phase, or so I considered it, but maybe it was inconsiderate of me to think of it that way. It just that the last few years she's seemed committed to males, expressing her specific love for the male anatomy. 
    I could see people saying she's bisexual...by definition, i suppose it would be hard to debate that--but I would never call her bisexual. Bisexual has a a ring to it that knowing her, doesn't suit my friend....shes more like, morphis sexual, a term i just made up; an "it depends" attitude, morphing her sexuality as it goes along without categorical restriction. When talking about her dating life she says,
    "I have to say, i definitely have double standards. i don't want my man dating guys, but i would expect him not to be upset that I've dated chicks. I might even expect him to let me have a girlfriend WHILE I'm dating him, as i have in the past."
For the sake of being literal, she said she MAY expect her boyfriend to let her also have a girlfriend but still, many may see her attitude as selfish. Knowing Tesla, when Tesla says shes straight, shes not saying it in denial, its more just a matter of fact statement. She doesn't put a lot of thought into it, she does what she does and wants who and what she wants as a straight woman. Its like vegetarians who say, "But I eat chicken." Obviously they are not really vegetarians, but do we have the time to argue with them about it, especially if most of the time they don't eat chicken? I bring up the famous quote by the filmmaker Renior, "A murderer is not a murderer all the time." Shall we change that humanistic quote a little and also say, "Tesla is not a lesbian all the time,"  not exactly the same idea, but somewhat relevant.
    Ive had other friends, men and women, privately confide in me they have considerable same sex interest, either saying "I'm bi", or "I could be gay, if I wanted to." The only drawback and roadblock for them being a distaste for the sex parts of their own gender, women who say they  don't want to touch pussy and men who would rather not touch cock with the general conclusion being, something like, "Im too tired to be gay, it sounds exausting....all that cock/pussy grabbing sounds dutiful and awkward." Maybe they are just over intellectualizing their impulses to the point where they no longer feel natural, all genitals can be intimidating at first, maybe they are intellectualizing on purpose to backwardly repress thier same sex hankerings. On the other hand, maybe they really dont have sincere desire for their own sex the way they think they could, just playful imaginations and a subtle attraction.
    Tesla had this to say today before going off on her first date with a female in years, "I have never been fucked by a dyke with a strap on. I am kind of interested what that might be like...kind of seems a little scary." Yet I feel like she would try it, if she felt like it, without hemming and hawing over technicalities of touching genitals, she would do it. Lets face it, if youre reasoning it out, its probably not sex. Sex is not an intellectual process, it has a lot to do with where blood flows and arousal in specific parts of the brain. If sex were just a willing thought process, Viagra would be unnecessary. Tesla's curiosity is simple, it doesn't reek of the over analysis that may force others with similar hankerings as her to back down...shes just a little scared of a strap-on, understandably so. I am too, although I am not in much danger of one coming at me.
    Women who feel too much pressure from the opposite sex may decide to be with women despite the initial difficulties of touching pussy. I know an older lesbian couple in which one of the women doesn't consider herself a thorough bred lesbian, yet she was enticed by the security of her lesbian relationship. Her not always being a lesbian is a sore spot in the relationship and this seems to cause her partner, a true lesbian, some stress.  One may say an of an acting lesbian, "A lesbian who is a lesbian currently, may not be a lesbian thoroughly". Unlike Tesla, who is, according to herself, the authority on her own status and not a lesbian at all (but fairly, wouldn't be offended being called a lesbian), and also is not yet invested in her lesbian actions, yet she agrees being with women can feel safe, Tesla expresses the increased comfort level with females before her date today, "I don't really feel the need to impress. Dykes don't care how stinky your crotch is or whether or not you've shaved your armpits."
     For men, being gay is rarely a light plan B ponderance. I dont know any old gay couples where one of the men is half halfheartedly homosexual, but just decided to settle--Im not saying theyre not out there. I also don't know any male Tesla equivalents, although sometimes she does, in jest, say she has a dick, but I dont know any men who openly and in earnest insist they are straight and are entitled to a boyfriend, again, I'm not saying they are not out there, I'm sure they are.    
    As we progress, through life, no longer experimenting, if one ever does experiment with sexuality rather than express it, different approaches to relationships take on a more serious tone. Tesla dating a woman could result in her actually having a female romantic complainion, much like trying out a different type of man could for me like maybe dating a bussiness man instead of an artist, a short one instead of a fat one. Anything new may change your life into a way that you did not expect, and may surprise your friends, AT FIRST, but ultimately this is the freedom we love. The love of freedom in love. Ehh, we're humans, we can get used to just about anything, as long as its honest.