Friedman
Subject: Friedman
From: Barrett Brown <barriticus@gmail.com>
Date: 12/4/09, 12:51
To: Karen Lancaster <lancaster.karen@gmail.com>

Thomas Friedman



And always, of course, there are a great many people who are just confused in mind and have a lot of inconsistent beliefs all jumbled up together.

                                                                                                                                                - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity


    In 2002, the Pulitzer Prize in the category of commentary was awarded to New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman. In 2004, Friedman was made a member of the Pulitzer's board of directors. Our nation is killing itself from within.

    Every nation is always killing itself from within. Every golden age occurred some fifty years previous, and every such golden age could have gone on forever had it not been brought to an end by some misguided contingent of one's own countrymen. It should also be noted that one's political enemies are always in control of the state; in the modern age, they've branched out into the media for good measure.


    Crime, as the reader may recall, spiraled out of control in the 1970s, increasing exponentially until such time as the federal government ceased to function altogether. Wealthy citizens moved into self-contained arcologies defended by private mercenary armies, while the poor organized themselves into communal military tribes, some seizing territory within the ruined cities, some taking to the highways in order that they might launch raids on the fortified hamlets into which rural Americans had organized themselves in desperation.


    On another occasion, the proliferation of nuclear power plants throughout the United States resulted in the accidental destruction of several major cities. Likewise, the proliferation of evolutionary theory and the decline of Biblical literalism resulted in the inevitable rise of a global government, itself led by a New Age tyrant who demands to be worshiped alongside some unspecified mother goddess.


    The sexual revolution led to an epidemic of lesbianism and infanticide. Welfare reform led just as inevitably to mass starvation in the inner cities. The New Deal continued to snowball until 90 percent of the U.S. workforce was employed by the Works Progress Administration, digging trenches and putting on Eugene O'Neil plays. Megacorporations replaced most national governments in the late '90s. Everyone is now a crack addict.


    Eight hundred thousand years from now, the human race will be divided into two species - one shall live on the surface, and the other beneath the ground.


    To the extent that we look back and examine the predictions of our predecessors, we find ourselves confronted with a great deal of nonsense. This is a fine thing, as nonsense merits our attention. In studying nonsense, we find certain common characteristics that we may use to identify further nonsense of the contemporary sort, the nonsense that plagues us just now. We may determine, for instance, that many of the foolish predictions that have been made in the past are quite clearly the result of ideology. One opposes nuclear power, and thus nuclear power will lead to disaster. One opposes the theory of evolution, and thus the theory of evolution will lead to immorality. One opposes the sexual revolution, and thus let us ignore him.

    If we are to divide the causes of poor predictions into two categories, we would probably make ideology one of them. The other category, just as probably, would be that of extrapolation, the act of making determinations about the future based on the trends that have reached us here in the present by way of the past and which, one assumes, will continue their growth into the future.

    The main problem with extrapolation is that it is entirely necessary. When we drive a car - I guess it has two steering wheels - we drive a certain speed in a certain direction. A tree is straight ahead. We extrapolate that, if we are to continue on our present course, we will hit that tree and then the cops will come and they'll probably find what we've got stashed in the glove compartment. But having extrapolated this tree-hitting scenario from our present course, we will probably just turn the car a bit so that we are no longer headed for this problematic tree. Perhaps we will get back on the highway, where there are considerably less trees to hit, but at any rate we have in this case successfully used the art of extrapolation to avoid hitting the tree and thereby we are more likely to successfully make it to our destination, which is Erique's girl's crib.

    If some pedestrian is observing the car at such point as it is headed towards the tree, he might very well make an extrapolation of his own - that, because the vehicle has been heading in a particular direction, this trend will continue until the car hits the tree. This is, of course, not the best bet to make, as cars are almost invariably driving in the direction of some object that it ought not hit, yet their drivers almost invariably turn before such time as their cars would otherwise hit such an object. In this case, the observer forgot to consider another extrapolation - that cars rarely hit things because drivers making extrapolations of their own, and that this car is thus not likely to hit anything either.

   Cars do sometimes hit things, though, and this need happen only once for everyone inside to be killed.                      

                                                                                                                  

    The purpose of this book is to convince the reader that our republic is in the midst of a crisis of its own making; that this crisis is so fundamental as to have been partly responsible for many of the failures that have brought our republic into decline; that for all of its gravity, the crisis is largely unknown to the citizenry; and that, barring an unprecedented and concerted campaign of information, boycotts, and other methods by which to bring pressure to bear on those most responsible, the crisis will likely spell the end of our republic as a credible superpower.

    

                                                                                                                 ***


    Barbarian kings ranging from Philip II of Macedon to Vladimir Putin of Scythia took pains to convince foreign populations of their benevolence. Philip found himself opposed by the orator Demosthenes; Putin found himself welcomed to the throne by columnist Thomas Friedman.


    Friedman had taken a trip to Russia in order that he might look at it very closely. A visitor to the Moscow of 2001, he determined, would notice that "sushi bars are opening all over (yes, from borscht to Big Macs to California-Kremlin rolls in one decade!)" and also that there is quite a bit more traffic these days. Russia had finally gotten itself a leader worth having in the transformative person of former KGB agent Vladimir Putin. "He's not a tougher Mikhail Gorbachev, or a more sober Boris Yeltsin," Friedman explained then. "He is Russia's first Deng Xiaoping - Mao's pragmatic successor who first told the Chinese that 'to get rich is glorious' and put in place the modernizing reforms to do it." This was certainly good news for the cause of Russian governance, and of course very useful information for Friedman's American readers, who could now make a determination about how the U.S. ought to engage its old adversary. In case the determination they ought to have made was unclear, Friedman exhorts them as follows: "So keep rootin' for Putin - and hope that he makes it to the front of Russia's last line." Russia's last line, as the columnist established earlier on in the course of setting up a cute metaphor based on some joke that was supposedly making the rounds in that country, is money.


    If one is not convinced that Putin is what Friedman says he is, one can read the words that Putin would himself write if Friedman were writing them for him, which is actually what Friedman does here.

That is Mr. Putin's basic message to Russians: ''For a decade, we've tried every bad idea, from default to devaluation to shock therapy. Now there's only one idea left: passing real reform legislation so we can get real investment to build a real modern economy. Because in this world, without a real economic foundation, you're nothing. So we're going to focus now on the only line that matters -- the line for money.''            

    Having expressed the Russian president's views and intentions for him, Friedman explains the significance of the fictional monologue we have just read: "This is Putinism: From Das Kapital to DOScapital." 

       

    Thomas Friedman is among the most respected and widely-read American pundits working today, which is to say that he is among the most influential. His books crowd the bestseller lists. His lectures are much sought out and attended by the economic elite of every city on which he descends. If one goes home for Thanksgiving and waits around long enough, one will hear him praised by both elderly old Republicans and elderly old Democrats. If one meets one's girlfriend's upper middle-class father in his den or study, and if this room is composed largely of hardwood paneling or furniture or some such, one will find a copy of either The World is Flat or The Lexus and the Olive Tree, though usually not both of them. If you happen to be a young female (hey, there) and come from an upper middle-class family  check your father's study.


    Friedman's 2003 bestseller Longitudes and Attitudes - which is called that - begins, reasonably enough, with an introduction. The introduction is entitled, Introduction: A World Album. At this point, the reader will no doubt think to himself, “A 'word album'? I've heard of a 'photo album,' but what is all of this about a 'word album'?"

    

    The columnist is happy to explain; the book is a composite of columns that he wrote mostly in 2001 and 2002. “My hope is that this collection and diary will constitute a 'word album' for the September 11th experience,” he writes. “There are many photo albums that people will collect to remind themselves, their children, or their grandchildren what it was like to experience 9/11. These columns and this diary are an attempt to capture and preserve in words, rather than pictures, some of those same emotions."


    This is the mentality of Friedman and his readership - that it would be reasonable to compose a personal photo album about September 11th and maybe keep it in a special drawer. Eventually, one's grandchild finds the album while looking for some plaything and, curious, begins flipping through the pages, asking what it all means. One tells him the story of how we had to run for shelter when the promise of a brave new world unfurled beneath a clear blue sky, perhaps with a romantic subplot thrown in. Afterwards, the child ambles off down the hall; one wonders if he understood it, the significance of it all. But then the child turns around, hesitates a moment, and says, "You were all so brave." Then he goes outside, possessed of new insights both simple and profound, into both his country and his grandparent. A single tears rolls down one's eye as one watches the child through the window, at play - or perhaps lost in thought? The credits roll.


    This columnist is destroying our country with his nonsense and must be stopped.


                                                                                                                  ***


    Contempt for the media is now ubiquitous but largely misdirected. Conservatives in particular tend to see the nation's news outlets as comprising some sort of monolithic entity. If only this were so.


    The news media is the product of a million individuals, each subject to a million impulses. The cable TV news producer in the pink scarf doesn't understand what's to be debated on this  morning's program and doesn't care; she's in the green room talking to another girl from guest booking about the latter's old boyfriend and the former's pink scarf. The freelancer on deadline need not get the feature right if he can just get it done before his girlfriend arrives with the bottle of vodka. The publisher lives in the shadow of the father who bequeathed to him the most iconic paper in America; he knows that many see the paper's recent failures as deriving in part from his own; he knows what's said about him in the newsroom; he will prove his worth and his dynamism, he thinks to himself, when he gives William Kristol a column on the op-ed page. Perhaps that was too specific.

   

    Then there is the consumer. The woman who subscribes to The New York Times may or may not read the op-ed page, which is to say that she may or may not contribute to the paper's profitability - and thus its continued existence - based on what appears in that section. If she does read it, she is probably unaware that her favorite columnist has been demonstrably wrong about the most important issues facing the country. The columnist's errors have been pointed out by several bloggers, but she has never heard of them, and at any rate does not bother with blogs as she subscribes to The New York Times, which is a very respected outlet and has been around for well over a century, whereas these blogs seem to have come out of nowhere. The columnist, she knows, has won several Pulitzers, has written a handful of bestselling books, is forever traveling to some far-off place. She has formed her foreign policy in large part from his writings as well as from the writings of other, similarly respected journalists, and she votes accordingly.


    When systems develop under a free society, no one is minding the store. Things happen because they happen, and things do not necessarily happen because they ought to, but rather because they do. The journalist is promoted to columnist, the consumer finds the columns to her liking, the columnist becomes more prominent, the publisher wants columnists of prominence, the editor is disinclined to cross the publisher, the columnist writes more books, the consumer buys them, the columnist's prominence increases, and at some point we have entered into a situation whereby it is to the advantage of the publisher, the editor, and of course the columnist to maintain the status quo. Whether the columnist deserves any prominence whatsoever does not necessarily come up. Once a pundit is made, he is rarely unmade.
 

                                                                                                            ***

   

    I once lost my gig as a copywriter and found myself compelled to work six-day weeks as a furniture mover for a Pentecostal church. When companies relocated, they would donate their discarded desks and chairs and whatnot to this church, the employees of which would pick it all up and store it in a warehouse until such time as individual pieces could be refurbished and sold off. The church leaders considered the whole thing to be a charitable enterprise insomuch as that they "gave jobs to people who need them." Other, less spirit-filled employers presumably provide jobs only to millionaires and débutantes.


    Each morning I would find myself sitting in the cab of an eighteen-wheeler with one of the ex-meth addicts with whom I was employed. On one occasion, we were joined by this doughy, bearded, bespectacled, middle-aged white fellow who was technically employed by the church in maintaining its servers and websites and such things but who was on this day recruited to assist us in our grunt work, someone else having failed to show up that morning. The fellow's longterm plan was to start his own internet-based ministry. This, incidentally, is the longterm plan of about a sixth of all middle-aged Pentecostals.


    A song came on the radio and this doughy fellow asked me who it was. I informed him that this was Led Zeppelin, and a secret smile flitted across the fellow's bearded, doughy face.
 

"Rock stars," he said, shaking his head but still smiling. "I call them Prophets of Baal, because they preach another way."


    The doughy fellow was developing his own terminology in preparation for the ministry that he would someday found.


    Thomas Friedman, like his doughy counterpart, is forever calling things things. He introduces his readers to the concept of 21st century trade thusly: "These global markets are made up of millions of investors moving money around the world with a click of a mouse. I call them the Electronic Herd, and this herd gathers in key global financial centers – such as Wall Street, Hong Kong, London, and Frankfurt – which I call the Supermarkets.” He elsewhere informs us that he is "a big believer in the idea of the super-story, the notion that we all carry around with us a big lens, a big framework, through which we look at the world, order events, and decide what is important and what is not."


   Friedman is correct that it is wholly necessary to conceptualize our data into understandable frameworks in order that we might better understand it. But the framework into which Friedman has forced the world is almost entirely dependent on wordplay, on convenient structural similarities between unrelated terminology, on rhymes and sayings.


    In 2000, the columnist composed a "super-story" regarding Colin Powell, whose nomination for secretary of state was expected to be confirmed later in the week.

One way to think about Mr. Powell is this: He spent thirty-five years of his life with America Onduty, as a military officer. But for the past two years he's been associated with America Online, as a member of the AOL corporate board. So which perspective will Mr. Powell bring to his job as Secretary of State – the perspective he gleaned with America Onduty during the cold war or the perspective he gleaned with America Online in the post-cold war?

        No serious discussion of Powell's record or policies follows; no new information is provided; it is never acknowledged that perhaps Powell is capable of thinking of the world in both the terms of a military officer and the terms of an information-age corporate advisory board member even though Powell has clearly served as both of these things. After all, Friedman has already coined the term America Onduty, contrasted it with the term America Online, and provided some allegedly clever distinction between the two mentalities represented thereby. We are informed, for instance, that those who fall under the category of 'America Onduty' enjoy the film A Few Good Men and see the world in terms of walls and nation states, because, you see, a character in that very film delivered some line to that effect and it seems to have made an impression on Friedman. Those associated with the 'America Online' mentality, by contrast, enjoy the film You've Got Mail because such people as these understand that the world is now integrated, and that the receiving of e-mail is a wonderful metaphor for the relatively recent dynamic whereby things occurring elsewhere now effect us all directly and with complete immediacy ("When a Russian financial crisis occurs, we've got mail"). Wrapping up the column, Friedman restates the question: "So which lens is Mr. Powell wearing – the one he developed with America Onduty, or with America Online?"


    Even such an insufferable framework as this would be of value to the extent that it truly assists in helping Friedman and his citizen-readers to understand such then-essential elements of the republic as Colin Powell, to draw useful conclusions from this understanding, and to make wiser and better-informed decisions in terms of the manner in which they vote, contribute, advocate, purchase, and otherwise interact with the various entities into which man's efforts are organized. If the public understanding is increased by dividing Powell's consciousness into that of America Online and some variant of that brand name and then characterizing in turn each of these mentalities by reference to concepts from popular films, then there's really no problem here other than that the whole America Onduty thing is fucking stupid, at least aesthetically.

    

    Suppose, however, that such frameworks as these do not seem to grant Friedman any particular insight into a particular subject, and in fact seem to lead him and his admirers astray. This might indicate to us that such frameworks are not actually useful, and that those who compose such frameworks may perhaps not be worth listening to, and that to the extent that they contribute to the national understanding they have damaged it in so doing, and that to this same extent they are responsible for the astounding errors that have been made in our country's recent past. Suppose all of that!


   Friedman's frameworks provides him with nothing. What he does is fine for writing a reader-friendly column in a pinch, but his cute semantic tricks do not translate into accuracy as much as we might hope that they would. He was not able to provide any useful predictions regarding Powell, for instance, although he certainly tried, announcing in another column that "it was impossible to imagine Mr. Bush ever challenging or overruling Mr. Powell on any issue." Moreover:

Mr. Powell is three things Mr. Bush is not - a war hero, worldly wise and beloved by African-Americans. That combination gives him a great deal of leverage. It means he can never be fired. It means Mr. Bush can never allow him to resign in protest over anything.

    Of course, Powell did indeed leave the administration under circumstances that we may ascertain to involve either firing, resignation, or some typically Washingtonian combination thereof - after having first been overruled by Bush on several decisions involving the most significant question of that presidency. To Friedman's credit, his failed prediction was based on the standard media narrative of the time as well as common assumptions made solely on appearances, which is to say that it was sourced.

    

    Elsewhere in this column, Friedman notes that it "will be interesting to see who emerges to balance Mr. Powell's perspective." That person, who ended up not so much balancing Powell's perspective as smothering it in its crib, was Cheney. The vice president was not exactly a "war hero," "worldly wise," or "beloved by African-Americans," which is to say that he was in many ways Powell's opposite number - which is to say in turn that Friedman's assumptions regarding what sort of person would have the greatest degree of influence over Bush were not just wrong, but almost the exact opposite of the case.
 

                                                                                                              ***


    Thing of each thing as a system. Then ask what it is exactly that this system does.   


    As has been noted, Friedman in 2001 exhorted the U.S. citizenry to "keep rootin' for Putin," whom he hailed as a great reformer - correctly, as Putin did indeed seize control of the country's various state governments and otherwise "reformed" the flow of power in such a way as that it would soon flow mostly from himself. That particular column was written in December of that year.


    In March of that same year, Friedman had written another column on Russia in which he summarized our post-Cold War espionage efforts by way of the following framework:

What is it that we and Russians are actually spying on each other about? This whole espionage affair seems straight out of Mad magazine's [sic] "Spy vs. Spy" cartoon. The Russians are spying on us to try to find out why we are spying on them. I mean, to be honest, is there anything about the Russians today you want to know?

    Ha! Ha! I guess not!


    We are here confronted with one of two possibilities: either Friedman does not really mean what he appears to mean by this, or he does. If it is the former, then he is wasting our time with nonsense. If it is the latter, he is doing something even worse - he is telling everyone who will listen that it is wholly absurd for the U.S. intelligence community to be collecting information on Russia's government, its societal trends, and its military. In fact, it is indeed the latter, as the next paragraph makes clear:

Their navy is rusting in port. Their latest nuclear submarine is resting on the bottom of the ocean. We know they're selling weapons to Iran and Iraq, because they told us. And their current political system, unlike Communism, is not exactly exportable - unless you think corruption, chaos, and KGB rule amount to an ideology. Khruschev threatened to bury us. Putin threatens to corrupt us.

    This person - this extraordinarily influential, respected, recognized, widely-read person - had decided that there was simply no good reason to continue spying on the Russians. Let us examine his reasoning a bit more closely:


Their navy is rusting in port. Their latest nuclear submarine is resting on the bottom of the ocean.


    The Russian navy was among the most formidable of its kind even at its turn-of-the-century nadir, when it possessed perhaps two dozen operational nuclear submarines. A nadir, by definition, is followed by an improvement of circumstances, and of course the Russians are now investing $200 billion in a total revamp of its naval forces, which by 2015 will have returned to world-class status - a situation worth monitoring, perhaps.


We know they're selling weapons to Iran and Iraq, because they told us.


    To know something is not to know everything. Friedman to the contrary, there are other things worth knowing about a large nation with nuclear weapons and a wholly unsteady history other than that it has sold weaponry to two other nations.


And their current political system, unlike Communism, is not exactly exportable - unless you think corruption, chaos, and KGB rule amount to an ideology.


    That we need not be concerned about the Russians exporting communism ought not lead us to conclude that we need not be concerned about the Russians, about whom every great power was rightfully concerned well before the onset of the Soviet era. Here, at least, Friedman has hit upon a reason why we perhaps need not be as concerned about the Russians these days. This is very admirable.


    The especially attentive reader will perhaps have noticed something peculiar about the excerpt above, in which Friedman contrasts the Soviet era to our current one. "Khruschev threatened to bury us," he wrote. "Putin threatens to corrupt us." A few months later, of course, Friedman was hailing Putin as the impetus of positive reform for whom we all ought to be "rootin'."


    Along with the Russians, Friedman spent much of 2001 in contemplation of technology. The New York Times sent him off to the Davos World Economic Forum in January of that year; Friedman sent back a column entitled "Cyber-Serfdom," announcing therein that the internet would soon be replaced by the "Evernet," itself the next step in the trend towards greater connectivity. But was humanity walking the dog, or was the dog walking humanity?


    2005 loomed large. By that year, Friedman explained, "we will see a convergence of wireless technology, fiber optics, software applications, and next-generation Internet switches, IP version 6, that will permit anything with electricity to have a web address and run off the Internet - from your bedroom lights to your toaster to your pacemaker... People will boast, 'I have twenty-five Web addresses in my house; how many do you have? My wired refrigerator automatically reorders milk. How about yours?'” This thing that didn't end up coming anywhere close to happening was of great concern to our protagonist. "I still can't program my VCR; how am I going to program my toaster?" We are left wondering as to the future status of airline peanuts.


    Later that year, there occurred an unprecedented alinear attack on U.S. commercial and military assets. This shifted Friedman's lens back towards the Middle East, where he would begin sifting the sand in search of super-stories. Our protagonist knew the Middle East well, having won two Pulitzers in recognition of the reporting he did from that region throughout the '80s. Back then, the system had identified him as worthy of advancement, and today it would call upon him to inform the citizenry's decisions on a matter of extraordinary importance. The future of the United States and that of several other nations was now, to some small but measurable extent, in the hands of Thomas Friedman.


                                                                                                                      ***


    It was a month into the war in Afghanistan. "A month into the war in Afghanistan," Friedman wrote, "the hand-wringing has already begun over how long this might last."


    Hand-wringing is something that old ladies do. They are always wringing their little hands, worrying themselves over some matter that is actually well under control. Friedman, confident that Colin Powell had things in order over at the White House, was not so neurotic as to concern himself with the potential length of a military intervention in such a place as Afghanistan. "This is Afghanistan we're talking about," he explained. "Check the map. It's far away."


    While others wrung their hands due to their misinformed takes on the situation, Friedman expressed doubts based on his knowledge of ongoing events - though not significant doubts, of which he had few. "I have no doubt, for now, that the Bush team has a military strategy for winning a long war," he wrote. But one aspect of the war did bother him. "I do worry, though, whether it has a public relations strategy for sustaining a long war.” Obviously the Powell administration would win in Afghanistan, but would President Bush and his top advisors be too busy winning wars and otherwise attending to their duties to give any thought to influencing the opinion of voters?


    Just in case, Friedman utilized subsequent columns in defending the administration's aforementioned "military strategy for winning a long war," countering hand-wringing with perspective:

Think of all the nonsense written in the press – particularly the European and Arab media – about the concern for 'civilian casualties' in Afghanistan. It turns out that many of those Afghan 'civilians' were praying for another dose of B-52s to liberate them from the Taliban, casualties or not. Now that the Taliban are gone, Afghans can freely fight out, among themselves, the war of ideas for what sort of society they want.

    As seen, Friedman in those days took to using the terms "civilian" and "civilian casualties" in scare quotes, as if such terminology does not really apply. As dead as these Afghans may be, they do not really mind being killed or maimed - this, at least, is how it "turns out," as if Friedman is suddenly privy to some new information that confirms all of this. In the space of two sentences, then, the most respected columnist in the country has attempted to imply the inaccuracy of demonstrably accurate and crucial elements of the question under discussion and has followed it up with a significant assertion regarding that question based on some unspecified new information that plainly doesn't exist. All of this is followed by an announcement that "the Taliban are gone."


    The problem of civilian casualties has since become one of the central sticking points in the non-won war against the non-gone Taliban - a source of discontent among the populace to such an extent as it is voiced at the highest levels of government, a means by which the Taliban is able to recruit new fighters, and a means by which the U.S. can be depicted as being inattentive to the concerns of those civilian populations that find themselves dwelling among America's new battlegrounds.


                                                                                                               ***

    

    In April of 2003, Friedman introduced a new framework by which the American people might better understand the events of the past few years:

Wars are always clarifying, and what this war clarified most was the degree to which there were actually three bubbles that burst at the beginning of the 21st century: a stock market bubble, a corporate ethics bubble and a terrorism bubble.


The stock market bubble we're all too familiar with. When it burst three years ago, millions of people all over the world were made more sober investors. The second bubble was the corporate governance bubble -- a buildup of ethical lapses by management that burst with Enron and Arthur Andersen, producing a revolution in boardroom practices.

    Bubbles being bubbles, and these bubbles having burst, Friedman determined that the problem represented by each bubble had thereby become less of a problem. The pertinent lessons had been learned, particularly by Friedman, who identified a common characteristic found among the three troublesome bubbles:

Like the stock market and corporate bubbles, the terrorism bubble was the product of a kind of temporary insanity, in which basic norms were ignored and excessive behavior was justified by new theories.

    Being temporary, the insanity was now presumably over. The bubbles had all burst.


    A column in which three bubbles burst makes for a fine column indeed, the number three being of special significance to the human mind: thesis, antithesis, synthesis; Father, Son, Holy Spirit; the tripod; primes. It takes three elements to establish a pattern, and thus it is that in comedy, one tends to finds groupings of threes - one sees a pattern being formed but the pattern is strangled at birth, and therein lies the humor, in misdirection and absurdity.


    Three bubbles it is, then. And they must be bubbles, and the bubbles must be of a singular nature - each must have expanded by way of, in this case, "a kind of temporary insanity." Each must have done so in a similar time frame. Having been bubbles, each must have been expanding previous to their popping. Having popped, each must now be on the steep decline. The resulting framework dictates that the Enron scandal will be followed by a period of renewed responsibility in terms of corporate governance, that the "dot com crash" will prompt investors across the globe to reign in their exuberance, and that the worst of the terrorist strikes are now over.


    If we step outside the framework and into the future of, we find that world's markets continued to serve as a complex amalgamation of investor confidence, concern, anxiety, and especially exuberance.that the "revolution in boardroom practices" was not so revolutionary as to prevent the nation's financial institutions from collapsing. By any measure other than that of American media attention, terrorism increased in the years ahead.


    Information is most useful when it is most unadulterated. Even so, we must integrate it into concepts - girls are cute, the Roman Empire fell because Roman virtue fell first. These concepts are useful insomuch as that they draw upon the necessary research into the subject and are then placed into a given framework. And the framework is not in these cases determined by way of funny little coincidences between certain words or the desirability of working three bubbles into a column instead of four and of describing everything by way of bubbles instead of perhaps by a square and the color blue and maybe one bubble if we've just got to have a fucking bubble in there somewhere. These frameworks serve their purpose, which is to organize our information in such a way as to enhance our use of it. Our use of it will indeed be enhanced to the extent that we remember that not all girls are cute and that the Germans might have someday overrun our Roman spiritual predecessors even had they maintained their virtue forever.

   

    Every framework is at a disadvantage by way of being created by mere man. It is a product of circumstance, and that circumstance may entail having been formed in order to serve as the central theme of some 700-word column. We cannot blame the framework for its flawed origins because we are not theologians, unless you are.


    Regardless of where the blame might lie, we have successfully established that it is better to compose an accurate framework than an inaccurate one. This will come up a lot.


    There was another bubble bubbling in those days, apparently. This bubble may have been the terrorism bubble, or it may have been another bubble altogether, but at any rate in 2003 Friedman appeared on television in order to tell us all something about a bubble:

What they needed to see was American boys and girls going house to house, from Basra to Baghdad, um and basically saying, "Which part of this sentence don't you understand?" You don't think, you know, we care about our open society, you think this bubble fantasy, we're just gonna to let it grow? Well, Suck. On. This.