| Subject: Chat with Miriam Carothers |
| From: Miriam Carothers <m.w.carothers@gmail.com> |
2:04 AM Miriam: why are you still awake?
me: good question
reading up on various arcane subjects
2:05 AM wait, why are you still awake?
2:06 AM Miriam: I slept until 4pm but they say you can never really catch up on sleep.
2:07 AM My relationship is going down the tubes, wires, etc.
me: I was up most of last night too, actually, so I'm doubly tired
why is that?
and how lengthy of a relationship?
2:08 AM brb
Miriam: 3 years.
2:10 AM me: I see
2:11 AM never made it anywhere that long myself
what seems to be the problem?
2:13 AM Miriam: he's 43 and won't change
me: because he's 43?
2:18 AM Miriam: well, he shows up wasted
2:19 AM I dunno I'm sick of being the human apology machine
for some dude who is co-opting my life.
2:20 AM me: this is the guy in your little gmail chat profile photo that one sees when moving their cursor over your name?
Miriam: I just want to be alone I guess.
2:21 AM Yes, that's him.
2:22 AM It's fromthe trip Niagra Falls we took with Fuller, Kakuda and Seifman.
2:23 AM me: he doesn't look very impressive
Miriam: I want to make y'art and be left the fuck alone.
ugggggggggggggh
me: understandable
Miriam: he won't leave.
me: you're not living together, are you?
2:24 AM Miriam: no but he won't leave my apt.
me: ah, yes, I have that problem quite a bit
Miriam: Imagine you're dating Stroub...
albatross
me: Straub was the least of my problems, actually
2:25 AM had other people hanging around as well
one of them I had to threaten with a baseball bat
Miriam: male or female
female would make sense
2:26 AM me: another was my previous roommate who the fellow who I menaced with the baseball bat had previously felt compelled to pull a gun on two weeks back
male, of course
would never threaten a female
got rid of the last female, the girlfriend, by making out with other girl in front of her
more subtle
Miriam: I've had 4 police reports.
me: involving your boyfriend?
Miriam: It's awful
2:27 AM yes
me: that's pretty ridiculous
2:28 AM Miriam: I'm this clever, silly lady who just wants to be left alone and now I'mliving in a Ricky/Jerry?Blaargh talkshow
disgusting.
2:29 AM me: yeah, having the police around is pretty unseemly
Miriam: I've devolved into trash.
2:30 AM Hatethis
me: well, that happens to the best of us, you should have seen me a few months back
Miriam: :'(
me: never too late to get rid of the problem
Miriam: I have a crush on you.
me: whatever it might be
I know
2:31 AM that's why I gave you an open invitation to come over whenever you're ready
2:32 AM Miriam: we got along when we first met.
me: I think we've only met once
Miriam: We are smart nut-bags.
me: yes
Miriam: that's all it takes.
2:33 AM me: at the very least, you need to get your life back from this douchebag fellow
2:34 AM I'm probably extrapolating a bit from the picture
2:35 AM Miriam: He's crushing my soul. I'm a veddy outspoken loopy lady. He's killing my game and making me all domestic.
2:36 AM I was into you at the havelena party.
But never thought to act on it ever.
that was 2 years ago
2:37 AM over!
huh.
how did you know I had a crush on you?
2:38 AM me: because I was raised exclusively by females and have since been close friends with mainly females and understand females very well as a result
2:39 AM it's evident from choices of conversation topics as well
2:40 AM also, you repeatedly telling me how fancy I am was kind of a clue
Miriam: I call people fancy quite often. It's a Miriamism.
2:41 AM me: understood
Miriam: But yes, yer up there.
me: when was the last time you had to call the cops on this guy?
2:42 AM Miriam: Well, be flattered, it'snice to be crush-worthy.
;)
2:43 AM me: I'm very flattered
Miriam: conversation topics? All I wanna talk about is Nader.
harrumph
2:44 AM me: Nader can't get anything accomplished, and what he did accomplish is too minor to count in the grand scheme of things
2:45 AM Miriam: are you still doing icky drugs?
me: no, I quit for a couple of reasons
Miriam: I don'teven touch blow.
2:46 AM me: I have a great number of responsibilities all of a sudden
Miriam: booze is my problem
me: count yourself lucky
Miriam: but that's an "acceptable" vice
2:47 AM I HATE opiates
me: well, they're certainly problematic
Miriam: never did it for me.
me: that's strange
2:48 AM Miriam: not my chemistry
me: never did heroin?
2:49 AM Miriam: Snorted it when it was super pure in the LES in '96
velvet cloud, barfed, velvet cloud, got bored.
2:50 AM My ideal drug is acid. I feel normal and functional on mushrooms.
me: well, it's very alluring, particularly as it helped me to write and also went well with fresh romances
2:51 AM Miriam: If I could take s tiny dose of liquid acid every day I would.
me: yeah, but I don't run with the right crowd anymore, running out of white friends
so haven't seen acid in a while
2:52 AM opposite of austin in 2001 or so, when it was everywhere
Miriam: Black people are festive.
I like tobe alone
2:53 AM me: yeah, me too, but i haven't managed to be alone since coming to this damned city
Miriam: Acid makes me feel like Miriam.2.0
Super Miriam
me: tripping alone in my backyard during high school was fun
2:54 AM didn't have to deal with anyone else's weird emotional problems coming out
Miriam: I got promoted at work tripping balls.
me: very well
Miriam: It was like "Office Space"
2:55 AM me: i got arrested while tripping on my 18th brithday
really sort of made me an angry person
for a long time afterwards
Miriam: I've been arrested toomany times.
Posttraumatic stree
stress
2:57 AM me: when I was in booking that time they found a hit of acid on my friend in his wallet and they all laughed like hyenas
and found a relatively innocent pic of me and my girlfriend in bed together and all passed it around
2:58 AM Miriam: so we can leave it at this: Miriamhas a crush on yew. Barf.
me: very well
we'll figure something out
3:00 AM Miriam: these days Idig whiskey. andpills.
but pine for acid
3:01 AM me: pining is all well and good, but we can obtain acid fairly easily
3:04 AM Miriam: I can too but ihave to restrain myself. My brain would be mush otherwise.
Heroin works for you with the ladies?
huh.
me: well
3:05 AM it certainly did on the most recent occasion
just depends on a number of other factors
Miriam: Azusa got Luke to quit.
He seems good.
3:06 AM so the pussy is dope kryptonite...
ha
me: it helps to have a girl around when you're qutting
3:07 AM to sort of replace heroin, which is like a different sort of girl
an evil girl that kills your friends and fucks up your life
Miriam: They say that in AA everyone hooks up
3:08 AM me: yes, my uncle's been a regular at AA for twenty years and that's absolutely true
Miriam: fuck AA
religious fucktards
me: yeah, I was forced to go during my first probation until I just decided to break probation and hide in plain sight
3:09 AM Miriam: probation? I'm on probation.
me: I used to be, now I just have warrants for probation violation
Miriam: Assault 2 with a deadly weapon.
3:10 AM me: I see
Miriam: be careful
me: is that boyfriend related?
Miriam: pint glass
no
me: ah
Miriam: funny enough...
no
not bfrelated
me: work related, then
Miriam: yup.
3:11 AM bad scene
13 stiches in the dudes arm
and fucked up his face.
me: well, that's what he gets for doing whatever it is he did, I suppose
3:12 AM Miriam: it was expensive to clean up thatmess
me: or maybe not
Miriam: legal fees wereinsane.
me: was he in the wrong?
Miriam: yes.
me: very well
Miriam: That'swhy I'm not in jail.
3:13 AM Felony charges in assault are messy
3:14 AM thank god the pint glass didn't riccochet to his head, or I'd be in jail right now. Ask Stroub, he knows the story.
3:15 AM me: luckily, Mirna left mace here
Miriam: mirna?
mace?
huh?
3:16 AM me: old friend of mine, used to visit a lot before she moved up here a couple weeks ago, left shampoo and weaponry in my room
forgot that you don't know her
Miriam: nope.
me: she's also my lawyer
3:17 AM Miriam: Well, I fight like a bovver wit me fists and pint glasses....
me: somebody's got to
Miriam: seriously
3:18 AM clear up the warrant shit...let me tell you...I'mspeaking from experience.
me: it's in Texas
3:19 AM Miriam: Central Booking in downtown /bk is fugly.
me: by the time I get caught, it won't matter as I'll be famous in six months or so
Miriam: of fuck you.
me: will have a nice little legal defense team and will get publicity
Miriam: oh fuck you.
twerp.
3:20 AM get real
me: seriously
Miriam: I dig you and all but..........ugh.
me: probation violation isn't a big deal
I had the exact same problem from 18 to 22 or so when they finally got me
3:21 AM they dropped the charges
Miriam: what is the problem?
me: obviously depends on the original charge
Miriam: drugs?
me: the first time, yes
the second time was me driving Mirna's car in Austin with the headlights off
3:22 AM during a four-day stay down there on my way to NYC in 2003
I also fucked with the bondsmen
3:23 AM who wanted me to stay in Austin whereas I was due to go to NYC for job
and they got over it
Miriam: Fullerand Itook the "which American literary hero are you quiz" And I got Hunter T. I wanted Capote.
me: that's what you get for taking all those pills
and fucking up people with pint glasses
Miriam: nah, it was accurate.
3:24 AM me: oh, wait
capote took a bunch of pills, too
Miriam: no shit
me: anyway, he's hardly a hero
Miriam: butmore me.
me: guy's more self-indulgent than I am
Miriam: I'm a bitchy black and white ball gay man
3:25 AM me: but not as self-indulgent as Gore Vidal
who just released his third fucking autobiography
how did you come to be that?
Miriam: Blood baby.
me: black and white ball?
bald
3:26 AM how is he black and white?
Miriam: google it.
me: I missed a step
very well
Miriam: the most fab event ofthe decade
me: oh, gotcha
Miriam: for society
me: read that wrong
3:27 AM Miriam: so, if I came on to you would you turn me down?
me: nope
3:28 AM Miriam: excellent (in Mr. Burns voice)
good to know. future reference.
3:29 AM me: it's good to have these things worked out in advance
or maybe not
Miriam: we'llboth forget
which is cool
too
3:30 AM man
how many sisters do you have?
me: none, just a half-sister I lost track of
lived with my mom and grandma
3:31 AM Miriam: just like my dad. the mom, grandma conundrum.
me: had to share a room with my mom for a while when I was in 3rd, 4th grade due to temporary poverty
Miriam: which is awesome.
me: so we were unusually close for that and other reasons
3:32 AM Miriam: mama'sboy
getit got it good
me: yes, I was very sweet
Miriam: now yer a mess?
me: sort of
Miriam: the predisposed DNA was there....
3:33 AM so you couldn't have been that off...
me: sorry, don't follow
3:34 AM Miriam: Your PRE-DISPOSED DNA
me: for which attribute?
messitude?
Miriam: nature and nurture
3:35 AM me: this was equalparts of the two
Miriam: i likeyou because you're fucking smart.
3:36 AM me: yes, that's extremely important to me in a girl as well
intellectual loneliness and all that
3:37 AM Miriam: My folks are smart. It's interesting how the true brains pops up amongst us.
3:38 AM Theonly way I define smarts these days is based on being dedicated.
Indefategable.
3:39 AM me: why?
Miriam: Napoleon was an indefategable lover.
orsothey say...
3:40 AM me: did his lovers say that, or did he
Miriam: Never resting, alwaysthinking....like you
always learning...
me: it would be nice to rest on occasion, but thank you; you know exactly how to flatter me
3:41 AM which is worrisome
Miriam: I'm calling it like I see it.
me: either way, end effect is the same
3:42 AM Miriam: based on our conversations.
Also, when wemet.
me: yes, we certainly hit it off
3:43 AM Miriam: I was quite sweet on you. But would never in a trillion years make a move.
me: that's the fine thing about text
Miriam: then time went by and foud out you became a junkie
3:44 AM which I never expected.
3:45 AM other folks words, not mine. Granted, I haven't seen you in 2 years.
me: it's okay, i'm not sensitive about it
3:46 AM at any rate, kicking was a positive experience
Miriam: I asked Azusa about you
she was like-he kept nodding off....
that was awhile ago
3:47 AM me: yeah, I recall meeting her
3:48 AM Miriam: luke was my best friend in college, azusa was my best friend in high school,they met when I went to jail for the first time.go figure...
killtwo birds with one stone.
3:49 AM me: well done
Miriam: Or I'm the ultimate match maker.
yeehaw.
me: by sheer accident
3:50 AM or, rather, probability
Miriam: anyway, I like chatting with you.
me: you, too
3:51 AM Miriam: I want to see Fantastic Mr.Fox. Wes wasdescribing the stop animation process on npr the other day
3:52 AM I sent you Ian Dury videos. did you get them?
3:56 AM I like your crazy safari pix
4:02 AM Miriam: do you ever cook?