Re: Peter Weisman's Shitty Novel

On Thu, Nov 26, 2009 at 9:12 AM, Dan COLLINS <vermontaigne@gmail.com> wrote:

Thanks for the opportunity, Barrett, and I may or may not take up the crappy novel and annotate, but might I suggest an alternative response? I have on occasion regaled my readers with (purely fictional) tales of quiet evenings spent in my Victorian library reading leather-clad editions of Latin works from my equally leather-clad overstuffed chair, and contemplating the benefits of a rich, costly cigar and select Armagnac, carressing the details of my sumptuous surroundings and occasionally remarking on the impertinent obtrusion of the hired help.

In other words, you see what the Packers fans did when the Bears fans tried to insult them with the label, "cheeseheads." Perhaps you could do the same.

Best regards and happy Thanksgiving,
Dan

On Wed, Nov 25, 2009 at 10:07 PM, <barriticus@gmail.com> wrote:
I've shared a document with you:

Peter Weisman's Shitty Novel
http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AbWHXPOSIsX4ZGdwNnZoNjlfOTU2NG10djl4cg&hl=en&invite=CM6NwsQD

It's not an attachment -- it's stored online at Google Docs. To open this document, just click the link above.

Greetings-

You have been selected for the privilege of being granted access to a terrible non-fiction manuscript that an acquaintance of mine wrote recently, and which he sent to me a few months back in hopes that I might provide him with some on advice on getting it published. The fellow turned out to be crazy and seems to have trouble with females insomuch as that he creeped out every female friend of mine that he had occasion to meet and sent one of them a series of bizarre text messages after meeting her exactly once. He has since gotten angry over my disinclination to return his phone calls and has left me messages explaining that he will now destroy my "public persona," apparently by leaving comments on a weekly column I do for Bushwickbk.com alleging that I am heir to a great oil fortune and have a trust fund. Such an accusation is, of course, considered a great insult among the hipster population of Brooklyn. He has also called me, publicly, a "borderline junkie," which is an accusation that concerns me more insomuch as that I serve as director of communications for an atheism-related political action committee, and we have enough public relations problems as it is, what with the atheism and whatnot.

As ignoring him has not worked, and insomuch as that I cannot prevent the fellow from engaging in further libels that might damage my PAC and my own future in politics, I am now retaliating by making his terrible, terrible manuscript available to various smart-asses, such as yourself. You are free to invite anyone else to view the document; if you'd like to make any notes, please do them in a different font or otherwise make them distinguishable from the original text. BUT MOST OF ALL HAVE FUN ENJOY YOURSELF FUN LOL HAPPY FACE.

Regards,

Barrett Brown